tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post4567802633849271015..comments2023-10-22T05:08:51.281-06:00Comments on Confessions of a Rotten Correspondent: work in progressthe rotten correspondenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02704525054720181936noreply@blogger.comBlogger27125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-62172652355650815862009-03-28T11:42:00.000-06:002009-03-28T11:42:00.000-06:00Jules, liked the piece overall, but did not like t...Jules, liked the piece overall, but did not like the beginning, 'specailly the analogy of the snake, although I "get" it. I agree with other posters that you need to fill in details - we need a setting in which to place you and your husband and we don't have one so far. Call me if you want to discuss it. QFEAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-47641190389260350932009-03-27T10:35:00.000-06:002009-03-27T10:35:00.000-06:00Your writing really grabbed me, I don't know the s...Your writing really grabbed me, I don't know the story and felt like I wanted to keep reading to find out. You have a knack for turning a phrase and a great sense of irony -- both VERY compelling.<BR/><BR/>This is nonfiction, yet I think "show don't tell" can still apply. Like when you first said he had a look on his face similar to when he puts things off and then described him messing up paying the bill...that was great, but I think you may have muddied it when you also attributed that same look to him making things your fault. I think it might be more interesting if you let his penchant for twisting things into being your fault sort of reveal itself via his actions, rather than your assessment. Trust your reader to get it (and I know MANY of us do, oh yes, lol)<BR/><BR/>That last paragraph, and then the subsequent final sentence, were brilliantly done...it really hit me and made me want to read on.<BR/><BR/>Hope you post more of your work in progress here...you are very talented and I am incredibly curious to see how it all turns out :DKayleighhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15347199277007746114noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-88390984647678484532009-03-26T19:08:00.000-06:002009-03-26T19:08:00.000-06:00PS - really, the bit where you said his lips were ...PS - really, the bit where you said his lips were moving etc. - I was right with you there. Truly. Just felt your complete mind numbing shock.<BR/><BR/>It's good.Cathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01247084030899971480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-59391104334411012432009-03-26T19:06:00.000-06:002009-03-26T19:06:00.000-06:00I just think you are gifted. And I am not an ego-s...I just think you are gifted. And I am not an ego-stroker. I was riveted from the first sentence and if you can continue in that vein, don't change a thing.<BR/><BR/>Happy second anniversary!Cathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01247084030899971480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-74626204810288807972009-03-26T18:35:00.000-06:002009-03-26T18:35:00.000-06:00Oh, birthday cake, 2-year-old birthday cake.Health...Oh, birthday cake, 2-year-old birthday cake.<BR/><A HREF="http://fymtyh.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">Health information</A><BR/><A HREF="http://eyesinkaleidoscope.blogspot.com" REL="nofollow">Humor & Fun World</A>skywindhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08976744642790529029noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-54172430309867821862009-03-26T16:12:00.000-06:002009-03-26T16:12:00.000-06:00Happy second blogiversary RC!I would definitely ke...Happy second blogiversary RC!<BR/>I would definitely keep reading. I agree totally with Aims. Talent will out.<BR/><BR/>Mya xMyahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14106690738320651376noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-17186333910673951482009-03-26T14:57:00.000-06:002009-03-26T14:57:00.000-06:00I would keep reading.I would keep reading.Pamelahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05404943895800549273noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-57286240645164491752009-03-26T14:54:00.000-06:002009-03-26T14:54:00.000-06:00:) you used the same 2nd birthday photo as I did a...:) you used the same 2nd birthday photo as I did a few months ago when Twaddle turned 2 :)..... great minds think alike....<BR/><BR/>and my goodness, I thought you had been blobbing for years, so professional and beautiful over here....<BR/><BR/>Happy Blob anniversary, may you stick around for many years to come...... I dont always comment but I hang out here like a sweaty sock in a teenagers bedroom LOL<BR/><BR/>xMarmiteToastyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02536695634856882487noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-32818342750970336762009-03-26T12:59:00.000-06:002009-03-26T12:59:00.000-06:00Happy Blogversary and good luck with the book. :)Happy Blogversary and good luck with the book. :)Akelamaluhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11234268568845148285noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-73173045479201268792009-03-26T12:19:00.000-06:002009-03-26T12:19:00.000-06:00Happy BlogiversaryI would definitely read it becau...Happy Blogiversary<BR/><BR/>I would definitely read it because thousands of miles away in June 2006, my husband of 18 years and father of my 3 children was telling me the same thing.<BR/><BR/>And if it happened to us, how many other women will be able to identify with your story too ?auntiegwenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03605486752049211743noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-85451625808864541742009-03-26T11:49:00.000-06:002009-03-26T11:49:00.000-06:00Girl - I've been telling you forever to write beca...Girl - I've been telling you forever to write because you can.<BR/><BR/>You know I'd read it.<BR/><BR/>Kudos on the anniversary. You've kept a lot of us in many emotional stages over this period. I for one always come back for more.aimshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12685252628734838159noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-57549429087461149812009-03-26T08:36:00.000-06:002009-03-26T08:36:00.000-06:00I've been reading here for ages and, like softinth...I've been reading here for ages and, like softinthehead, I was shocked and saddened when you told us about the marriage guidance and the divorce. But this opening? is great. I so want to keep reading. I'm curious about how you got to that point, despite all the misgivings, and about where 'now', or 'the end of the story' is.<BR/>Didn't get the marco polo thing- too cold in Ireland!<BR/>Oh, and many happy returns!speccyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12910768878700620483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-32844349902123490682009-03-26T08:09:00.000-06:002009-03-26T08:09:00.000-06:00I love it! I want more. I LOVED the marriage claus...I love it! I want more. <BR/>I LOVED the marriage clause part, and I get the comparison to marco polo, don't get rid of it or the marriage clause part!!!<BR/><BR/>I grew up in KS and we played marco polo!<BR/><BR/>Happy 2 year Blogiversary!!!Kaytabughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11823989062127968170noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-61923716146571931972009-03-26T07:45:00.000-06:002009-03-26T07:45:00.000-06:00Very good writing, but I agree with Seashomre - to...Very good writing, but I agree with Seashomre - to make this truly a novel you need to place your narritive somewhere.<BR/><BR/>Its not easy and the thing that always drove me insane when I tried to move from writing poetry to writing short stories. I gave up declarinig it impossible. I hope you don't though, you have a good story to tell. And a very good begining.Katyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02610117543051640146noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-12664796340312061382009-03-26T07:30:00.000-06:002009-03-26T07:30:00.000-06:00Happy Birthday. And it reads well - I want to see...Happy Birthday. And it reads well - I want to see what happens next (even though of course I have a pretty good idea of how it ends...)Potty Mummyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04751869800592294891noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-46538177290821773062009-03-26T07:23:00.000-06:002009-03-26T07:23:00.000-06:00the marco polo stuff doesn't make sense to me. it ...the marco polo stuff doesn't make sense to me. it might just be a california game..lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18055442432266567561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-19394325780326290362009-03-26T06:41:00.000-06:002009-03-26T06:41:00.000-06:00Sounds good!Happy blogoversary!Sounds good!<BR/><BR/>Happy blogoversary!Teena in Torontohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14875608173791872449noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-67082616023743814852009-03-26T03:58:00.000-06:002009-03-26T03:58:00.000-06:00I agree with Maggie about keeping a little mystery...I agree with Maggie about keeping a little mystery because as I remember I was shocked and saddened . :) I would definitely read on RC. Many happy returns for today.softintheheadhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01365562754859033869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-31576048078921127632009-03-26T03:22:00.000-06:002009-03-26T03:22:00.000-06:00I like it! Keep writing. It seems a wise decision ...I like it! Keep writing. It seems a wise decision to leave the tweaking until after you've got the whole first draft out. <BR/>And happy birthday blog!CChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11652392805221031646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-24620675939758850762009-03-26T03:04:00.000-06:002009-03-26T03:04:00.000-06:00I like your style. I don't know the details of yo...I like your style. I don't know the details of your story, but most divorces I am familiar with stretched out. I like how the short, sharp sentences you use contrasts that.<BR/><BR/>One thing that would make this particular excerpt more interesting is to describe the scene a little more. Was it a kitchen table with dinner dishes all over it? Were you sitting on the couch in the living room? That sort of thing.seashmorehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00698552238049211687noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-54196154837381154222009-03-26T02:57:00.000-06:002009-03-26T02:57:00.000-06:00RC it's good...your writing style for this seems t...RC it's good...your writing style for this seems to be the "movie flash back" technique to me...i flashback...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-31220213272554403102009-03-26T02:35:00.000-06:002009-03-26T02:35:00.000-06:00Happy Blogiversary.Happy Blogiversary.willowtreehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09173637121496772685noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-21538096295222981122009-03-26T01:55:00.000-06:002009-03-26T01:55:00.000-06:00I would keep reading, because I would be very curi...I would keep reading, because I would be very curious how you told the story of your marriage and what your take on it was. I would want to analyze it, I guess.Irenehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05043376053971475659noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-89587488105807719922009-03-26T01:50:00.000-06:002009-03-26T01:50:00.000-06:00Happy second anniversary!Yes, I would read your bo...Happy second anniversary!<BR/><BR/>Yes, I would read your book.<BR/>Just a thought though...... are you going to give ALL the facts in the beginning? It might pay to keep people dangling till the end, before you disclose whether he left you or not. (If you are going back to the beginning after that opening statement, that is.) I think there needs to be some disclosure at the end that leaves people a bit shocked, in any book. You know, something that keeps people guessing, though I am no expert.<BR/>Keep writing.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06183886005936250976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-76883674861100851912009-03-25T21:40:00.000-06:002009-03-25T21:40:00.000-06:00Happy Birthday, Blog! Obviously I would keep read...Happy Birthday, Blog! Obviously I would keep reading and I think I even know most of the story. Keep writing!!Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04503536366500859750noreply@blogger.com