tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post7296859987626041094..comments2023-10-22T05:08:51.281-06:00Comments on Confessions of a Rotten Correspondent: arc one/almost donethe rotten correspondenthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02704525054720181936noreply@blogger.comBlogger21125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-1230252987336538352009-04-23T08:49:00.000-06:002009-04-23T08:49:00.000-06:00Sorry about all this. Bad stuff, for sure.
Since ...Sorry about all this. Bad stuff, for sure.<br /><br />Since you went password protected, you don't come through to my Bloglines any more. That's why I've been away.Iota https://www.blogger.com/profile/08507184283437057648noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-21901424542253549222009-04-22T22:54:00.000-06:002009-04-22T22:54:00.000-06:00Hugs to the boys.Hugs to the boys.Kilahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09412146547477399452noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-79040926656292664172009-04-21T23:35:00.000-06:002009-04-21T23:35:00.000-06:00that was so sad. my heart ached for sasquatch so m...that was so sad. my heart ached for sasquatch so much so that tears welled up. why do guys do this? my girls don't like to talk to their dad either. he always makes things feel like they're not as bad as they think it is and that they should be o.k. w things that go on. my oldest has told me that she can't talk to him about things like she does with me. my ex has his head so far up his gf's ass it's unbelievable. i need to read the other arcs now. i keep forgetting i have to sign in to read :-/ lolPamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12365631315923740004noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-27469610558775260272009-04-20T19:14:00.000-06:002009-04-20T19:14:00.000-06:00I don't have much to offer as far as advice, but I...I don't have much to offer as far as advice, but I do send my love your way. The whole situation just sucks--for you and the kids. <br /><br />Have you considered having the kids talk to a third party? Maybe a trusted friend or therapist? Just a thought...<br /><br />Hugs.Staciehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01471803757485977959noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-49810572506804156092009-04-20T18:06:00.000-06:002009-04-20T18:06:00.000-06:00be careful. kids can read their parents very very ...be careful. kids can read their parents very very well. be careful with this line of questioning with the boys.lauriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18055442432266567561noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-77977620709990615262009-04-20T17:17:00.000-06:002009-04-20T17:17:00.000-06:00My blood just ran cold.
It really has. Talk to him...My blood just ran cold.<br />It really has. Talk to him. Totally totally talk to him and <I>listen</I>. <br /><br />Support him and protect him if you have to - it's hard when you're already seen as the "baddie" but that's what we do for our kids. So if he doesn't want to go, then he shouldn't go. He is old enough to express a preference and give a reason. But not too old to hug.Cathhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01247084030899971480noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-73980360166378736392009-04-20T14:28:00.000-06:002009-04-20T14:28:00.000-06:00Let's start with a steel toed boot to the groin,se...Let's start with a steel toed boot to the groin,seem's that's the only place he has any feeling left.My Aimless Infatuationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07247232637557244904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-49717967482457176762009-04-20T14:26:00.000-06:002009-04-20T14:26:00.000-06:00That is terrible.
The boys will probably talk to y...That is terrible.<br />The boys will probably talk to you in future, especially as you have tried to give them the option of talking to their father and they are working things out for themselves, like who they can trust. <br />He can't force this girlfriend on the boys. He will just end up losing them.<br />Just keep being you, RC and I can assure you it will pay off.Maggie Mayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06183886005936250976noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-52675187411848811012009-04-20T14:24:00.000-06:002009-04-20T14:24:00.000-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.My Aimless Infatuationhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07247232637557244904noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-22659326081860722722009-04-20T10:16:00.000-06:002009-04-20T10:16:00.000-06:00Poor you and poor kids, RC. I agree with Frances t...Poor you and poor kids, RC. I agree with Frances that unfortunately the FX will not take it from you that the boys are suffering, it needs to come from his own family.<br />I suppose the one thing good in all this is that it reinforces how right your decision to split form him was/is. At least they don't have to deal with him all the time. Having said that, it must be difficult for you to paste them back together each time they visit him. So I sympathise with you on that score, for what it's worth. Take care of yourself, and it will be worth it in the end,they will realise what's going on, mimiMimihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08100985140335023467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-82357929317393987242009-04-20T09:46:00.000-06:002009-04-20T09:46:00.000-06:00My middle child is the sweetest boy on the planet....My middle child is the sweetest boy on the planet. Even going through adolescense he's remained easy going and impossibly sweet for a teenaged boy.<br /><br />Every single time he comes home from his father's house, he's a nightmare. It's been happening for years and I have no hope of it becoming better. It's the attitude the man has toward life, the kids, everything.<br /><br />I know it's hard to pick up the pieces every other weekend.<br /><br />Hang in there.Kimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05655321325607087357noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-74027197086347239612009-04-20T08:27:00.000-06:002009-04-20T08:27:00.000-06:00PPS - FX's family are the only people who can tell...PPS - FX's family are the only people who can tell him straight - you are too involved for him to think you are telling the truth. Maybe his sister?lebanesahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07988892248196307424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-65776666562550688832009-04-20T08:25:00.000-06:002009-04-20T08:25:00.000-06:00PS the kids need to be able to say they don't want...PS the kids need to be able to say they don't want to go to their Dad's if they don't want to. <br />Feeling sick and wanting to stay home the day after may be a pretty good sign - the only way you will find out is if you ask straight out and if they are sure you will accept what they're saying and go with their wishes. <br />They can change their minds any time. It shouldn't be a torment to them, they are just kids. <br />You don't need to fight with him about it. <br />You don't have to communicate with him about it either. If one or more don't want to go over, you just say they're not coming over and you don't need to explain. <br />He doesn't deserve any explanation unless he is willing to try and understand them. His problem.<br />Unless it's somewhere in your divorce settlement that you have to force them to go see him even if they don't want to....lebanesahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07988892248196307424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-59882518910549554602009-04-20T08:20:00.000-06:002009-04-20T08:20:00.000-06:00RC, I know that FX needs to get his act together s...RC, I know that FX needs to get his act together somehow to try and mend this relationship with the boys, and I know that this is something that he needs to do on his own but, for the sake of the boys, is there anything you can say to him that might just make him see exactly what is so very wrong about what he is doing? I know also that you wanted to step back and let him stand or fall but your boys are suffering. Or is he too caught up in the flush of romance to see/listen/do anything?<br /><br /><br />As the product of divorced parents I feel for them immensely, I really do.Aoj and The Houndshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08050051691812941247noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-75850317362921795392009-04-20T07:44:00.000-06:002009-04-20T07:44:00.000-06:00Oh RC...Wow...I feel bad for the boys and that you...Oh RC...Wow...I feel bad for the boys and that you. Give them all hugs and remember you are doing right by them and that is all that matters. They will remember that always.Martihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00926679799308903377noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-41566561132111559432009-04-20T02:01:00.000-06:002009-04-20T02:01:00.000-06:00Though you didn't tell us this at the time, it cam...Though you didn't tell us this at the time, it came through with what you didn't say about FX birthday. You were half expecting some trouble and I remember you musing about how he was going to juggle girlfriend and kids, or if he was. <br />It seems he is unable to understand how they feel, or to see it properly. I'm going to email you to tell you why I think this might be so. My experience is not mine, so I don't want to publicise it - even 'privately'.<br />Hang in there girl. Those kids need LOTS of understanding.<br />hugs<br />xxxlebanesahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07988892248196307424noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-18464388880379024062009-04-20T01:55:00.000-06:002009-04-20T01:55:00.000-06:00First, I'm glad you're able to get this all out. ...First, I'm glad you're able to get this all out. Going private with your blog may have been a tough decision, but I think it's worth it so you have the ability to speak freely. As for the boys, I'm so very sad for them. I'm sad their dad is not as engaged as he should be, but it sounds like it's been this way for quite a while. Unless the kids tell him there is a problem, it likely won't change. And even then it may not. How crappy.Jenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07900746787671291548noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-86861593619862123082009-04-19T22:34:00.000-06:002009-04-19T22:34:00.000-06:00In the end you reap what you sow. You my friend, w...In the end you reap what you sow. You my friend, will be blessed and he will not. The boys will drift away from him because there is no real relationship there. But you are fully there through it all and they know it and that connection will not fade.<br /><br />I know because even though my parents did not divorce, my mother passively participated in our relationship and now we don't have one. I was never her priority. Her loss.ped crossinghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06360740233306533239noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-65548624604507644122009-04-19T22:32:00.000-06:002009-04-19T22:32:00.000-06:00First, thanks for letting me continue reading your...First, thanks for letting me continue reading your blog, I went into hospital on the 17th and just got home this morning so have only now caught up with my internet world ;-)<br /><br />You have a big well deserved hug from me for enduring what you have at the hands of the not lamented FX, but your boys have my enormous sympathies for the manipulative shit he is putting them through. It will eventually come back and kick the FX in the ass but until the boys (especially the younger two) are older and wiser they will continue to go through the mill unfortunately. You know that you and they will come through all of this as wiser and better people and I wish you the very best as you carry on with the Good Fight - all four of you xoxsharonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03247276433803886670noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-61710849310842422252009-04-19T22:28:00.000-06:002009-04-19T22:28:00.000-06:00Your calm mother has not lost her calm. Where's my...Your calm mother has not lost her calm. Where's my baseball bat? Where's my gun? Where's my rolling pin? He best stay out of my way or I'll turn him into mulch.Altaglowhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17962628610877250153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7407016858777887859.post-76440620109606297192009-04-19T21:54:00.000-06:002009-04-19T21:54:00.000-06:00The sad thing is it really is easier if they don't...The sad thing is it really is easier if they don't tell FX what they are thinking or feel. Luckily they can be honest with you. You may feel the lion's share of the burden, but it will pay off in the end. Promise.Susanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04503536366500859750noreply@blogger.com