The Thursday Three

Today let's dish about

Cliffhanger Television Shows

You know, shows that you just can't stop watching, no matter how hard you might want to. Shows that you start looking forward to as soon as the current episode ends. Shows that you think about during the week and wonder what in the world is going to happen next. Shows that lure you into hanging around whatever fills in for a water cooler in your life and offering your own personal insight.

In short, television that gets under your skin.

I'm okay with past tense too, as in older shows that kept you mesmerized in their day. Now there are those people who might call these programs Soap Operas, and in some sense I think they're right. Ongoing character development, unexpected plot twists, skanky bad guys, good guys you root for, good guys who turn out to be bad guys (and vice versa) - these are all crucial elements to the cliffhanger. And to the Soap Opera. Call it what you will. Just make sure you're sitting in front of the television set when it comes on.



#1. 24. The only current one of my three, and in my humble opinion the best. It has elevated the cliffhanger to a whole new level. I will admit that it's gotten a trifle weary lately, but I still think the basic premise is wonderful. Each episode takes place in "real time" over the 24 hour course of a (very eventful) day. In my view the first season (which has been on DVD for quite a while) is one of the best seasons of television ever. Do not even start watching it unless you have 24 hours to spare with nothing else planned. I'm not kidding. It will drive you crazy.

I'm not big on political thrillers and I am terribly anti-violence. I have very little patience with guys who have pissing contests to see who has the bigger gun. And every last one of the medical scenes in this show is a joke. I mean laugh out loud bad.

And in spite of all of that, it's terrific.




#2. Dallas. Okay, this is without question a soap opera, but anyone over 35 remembers the catch phrase that captivated the world the summer of 1980 - Who Shot J.R.?

And even though I was just a year old I remember it still. Alright, I was slightly older. Alright, I was taking my very first post High School all alone with a girlfriend trip to London for a month during this time. And if you can believe it, those Brits were in as big a tizzy as we were. If my memory is not faulty, this was right before Diana Spencer knocked J.R. Ewing right off the front pages and into reruns.

The arguments were everywhere and any person you spoke to had their own opinion as to who had done it. I don't remember how far into the season they made us wait to tell us, but I seem to recall it as being a little anti-climactic.

Oh, and just for the record? I knew it was Kristin all the time.







#3. Twin Peaks. This may not be the best of the bunch, but it
is by far my favorite. Even now, after all these years, whenever
I think about this show all I can think is What In The World????
(WTF works too). This clip is very fuzzy, but it gets the idea across pretty well.

Everything about it, from the wonderful, quirky music, to the plot that virtually demanded a flow chart to a bunch of the most twisted characters ever assembled to dream sequences that were like some LSD flashback as interpreted by Donny Osmond - this show was pure magic. The signature line - "She's dead. Wrapped in plastic"- set the tone. (Of course it was pronounced more like "She's day-ed, wray-upped in pal-as-tic.")

I was working at Paramount when this show started and let me tell you that we were a hard sell. But every single Friday morning the entire lot would be buzzing about what had happened the night before and how in the world they were going to top it the next week.

It was great.

Tabloid Throwdown

Some of my best eavesdropping on my younger kids lately happens when they're in the shower. I guess I can thank our mythical bathroom ghost for this. See, neither one of them likes being in the bathroom alone, so they bribe the other one to go in and sit with them while they shower. The door is always left open for a quick exit in case the ghost shows up between the shampoo and the conditioner, so I can hear perfectly. The downstairs bath is right off the kitchen, and I've found that if I do kitchen chores during shower time I get all the gossip. It's always interesting, even if it does sometimes make me cringe.



Yesterday morning was a perfect example. Gumby was in the shower and Surfer Dude was lounging on the toilet, fully clothed, reading a Foxtrot book. Out of nowhere Gumby said, "Who do you think is the craziest person in the world?" As SD pondered this I stopped making cinnamon toast and tried to guess what he would say. We're a fairly well read family, and my kids are very interested in current events, so it could have been anyone. Politicians get defiled on a daily basis at casa de Correspondent so I was pretty sure that was the direction we were headed for. What I wasn't expecting was ...


"Britney Spears," said SD decisively.



"Do you really think so?", asked Gumby, "I think Lindsay Lohan is crazier."



"Well," reflected SD, "really it's a toss-up."



"I don't think either one of them could be any crazier than they are," offered Gumby, climbing out of the tub. "They're out of control."



"You know how you could make them crazier?" asked SD with a sadistic note in his voice. "Lock them each in a room with nothing to do except a book to read. They'd go nuts!!"


As they continued getting ready for school I had to wonder. What in the world do they even know about these two women? And how in the world did they hear it? And why in the world do they care? Why does anyone in the world care? Do they not know the difference between Hollywood crazy and real crazy? Surely people realize that there is a difference. Don't they?


Although I have to give Surfer Dude points for his plan. I think it's a sure fire winner.

The Thursday Three

Today let's talk about...

"Sexy" Men I Just Don't Get

I know we all have different tastes in the opposite sex. Or the same sex - to each his or her own. And surely this is a good thing, because otherwise we'd all be duking it out over the same few people. This would inevitably lead to a lot of us being stuck with nothing but cheap paperback romance novels and bad country songs to keep us warm at night. But there are some famous "sexy" men I just don't, for the life of me, get. To be perfectly fair, there a quite a few "sexy" women I'm a little puzzled about too. I almost hate admitting a couple of these, because I think something may be just a little wrong with me. Or maybe even a lot. And I apologize for jumping on the whole celebrity bandwagon, but at least these are people we can all recognize. If I said I didn't find the guy at the Post Office sexy we wouldn't have much to debate, would we?

#1. Tom Cruise. Pre-Open mouth insert foot stage. Pre-Katie Holmes. Pre-radical Scientologist. (Not sure when that was). I just do not understand what it is that makes so many people ga-ga over Tom Cruise. I was fresh out of college and working at Paramount during the Top Gun days when it seemed like he could do no wrong. The day that his production company was moving into their new offices on the lot every female (and quite a few males) felt it necessary to camp out for a glimpse of the man himself. And these were jaded Hollywood types. I passed on that circus, but did see him at other times on the lot. He's short.

Really, the fact that he does nothing for me is particularly odd because he sort of has the Black Irish coloring I've always found irresistable. Dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes. And even that doesn't work for him. (Are his eyes even blue? Maybe hazel, now that I check). But still.

#2. Justin Timberlake. Not even sure where to start here. Just. Don't. Get. It. Maybe it's the age thing, because I know a lot of younger girls who think he's the It Man of the moment. But I don't think so. I can think of plenty of other guys his age who do a lot more for me. Mrs. Robinson just can't think of them right now.

I do like the way he, uh, dances. But I'm opposed to anyone who has ever seen Britney Spears naked on general principle.

Okay, I'm saving this one for last, because even I know there's something wrong with me.

#3. Brad Pitt. Oh Jesus save me, for I have sinned. I do not find Brad Pitt sexy in the least. I think he's cute enough, I mean he doesn't gross me out or anything. I just don't have that weak-kneed thing going. This little glitch makes me feel seriously out of step with the rest of human kind.

I think part of my problem with Brad Pitt is that the "pretty boy" isn't a type I normally gravitate toward. And also that virtually any film he's in has at least one person who out-sexies him in my book. George Clooney. Vince Vaughn. Angelina Jolie.

I wonder if there's anything I can take for this?

All right people, lets have your lists. Someone please make me not be the freak here.

The Thursday Three

I humbly submit my list of the BEST CHICK FLICKS EVER MADE (as interpreted by me) This was not at all easy to narrow down, as the chick flick category happens to be very dear to my heart. When the world gets to be too much for me, I take to my bed with a chick flick and it rarely fails to perk me up. Or calm me down. Whatever. In the interest of provoking arguments amongst the faithful, I’ll give it my best shot to pick just three...

#1) Working Girl – Really, it’s almost impossible to top this one. It’s funny, has a terrific cast, and features all those marvelous eighties fashions. The most important element in a chick flick is that magical payoff moment and the one here will bring tears to your eyes. At least it always does to mine. All this and both Harrison Ford and Alec Baldwin pre voice mail follies. What’s not to like?

#2) Dirty Dancing – Why mess with a classic? It amazes me to this day how many adult women I know who can quote HUGE chunks of this movie off the top of their heads. Taken apart piece by piece, I honestly can’t tell you why this film is the chick magnet that it is, but it truly has no peer. Set in a “simpler” (ha) time and the Catskills to boot. And who doesn’t want Johnny to teach them to dance, even if he can’t act for beans. NOBODY puts Baby in a corner, do you hear me? Don’t even try. You heard it here first.

Oh god this is so hard to pick just three…

#3) Notting Hill – Two words. Hugh Grant. This has been in heavy rotation at my house the last couple of years, and it proves my theory that if Hugh Grant can’t make it better it simply isn’t fixable. This chick flick has some terrific elements. It is drop dead hilarious, has some British guy with floppy hair whose name I can’t recall, and delivers a pretty wonderful payoff moment to boot. I’m all over anything set in England anyway, so this one has a lot going for it.

Okay, people, I’m throwing down a challenge. I want your lists! Put them in comments so everyone can see them. Come ON!! Be brave, little buckaroos!!

P.S. Happy one month birthday to this blog!