My kids go to their dad's house for the weekend and this is what they do:
Go out to eat.
Go to the movies.
Buy new computer games.
And tennis rackets.
And soccer cleats.
And hoodies.
Go out for ice cream.
And go garage saling - which they love.
Then they come home a few hours before me.
And I walk in the door whipped.
And notice that the dogs have no food.
And there are dishes all over the place.
And overflowing trash cans.
And two dead mice in traps.
And a Sasquatch load of three items in the washing machine and my scrubs for tomorrow still in the hamper.
And a tv and two computers blasting.
There was a bright spot. A big one. Now I can turn on my heat.
Our dear friend Kevin - a Bunco husband in a million - putting up our new storm door. Custom sized, of course, for a 120 year old house. Not the door. Just the space the door goes in. It took him two days to build the surround. And all he wanted from me was the money for the supplies. $25. We argued over this and he told me I was a crazy woman, which made me laugh. People who live in glass houses...
I don't think my kids appreciate Kevin enough. Because if it hadn't been for him, they'd think even less of me than they already do.
Monday, October 20, 2008
Nagging - it's what's for dinner
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15 comments:
I need a Kevin...
This made me smile.
Yes, dad's get all the credit sometimes and seem to have lots to spend on treats.
Mum's have to pick up the pieces & make do & mend.
life doesn't always seem fair.
however, they will remember you were there for them when they grow up.
Ha ha ha! No they won't, they'll just remember you busting their balls. Trust me.
I know it is amazing on those occasions when we walk in and find "that" that our heads don't explode!! Classic WT comment :)
One day they will know. One day...
Hang in there.
they need chores.
so you don't become Martyr Mom.
Teenage boys, huh?
But I'm with Laurie. They need to shape up for you. And I guess the only person who can teach them how, is someone who already has a plateful.
I know the "Fun Dad" story well. I've lived it for the last thirteen or fourteen years.
Give them child-specific chores. When they decline -- or "forget" -- to do them, take away privileges. Enforce the consequences. Assign chores. Repeat.
This works. Eventually.
You and other mom's take care and nuture...the divorced dads become santa and beginning Thursdays dine out with the kids, bye them toys, indulge them other ways. Then they come home and want to loaf...it goes on and on.
I dont think they think less of you, RC, I just think they believe you will take care of everything in the house.
I agree with the other posts, "chores" and follow through. By having them do the work, they might not be so inclined to make the messes.
Happy Monday - I hope your week gets better.
Nothing can replace a mother's love...NOTHING.
I hate days like that...but, blessed be Kevin and his storm door prowress. Not to mention his kindness and lack of need for major moolah to complete the task.
Can I get adopted by a divorced dad? I really need new football cleats.
I'm not in the business of handing out parenting advice, since, well, I'm definitely unqualified, but Kaycie seems to make sense.
Those boys need chores... a family is a team and everyone needs to do their part.
Besides, if they like you too much, you probably aren't doing your job. At least this is what I tell myself! :)
Hi RC, yes, they do need chores and yes, I do know how hard it is to reinforce them. The boys will whine and complain and you will bitch at them and then decide you don't like that and end up doing it all yourself again. Tricky boys! You have to be a mean mom for a while, if you can stand that.
Thanks for all your support to me. xxx
You know - I have friends that had "Santa Dads", but end the end guess who ended up being their favorite parnet? Yep, Mom.
As they grow up they find out that the one that is there all the time is the one that matters.
BTW - you can totally use this to your advantage. Next time they need something - cleats, clothes, games, etc. just tell them to get it when they go over to Dad's. Don't be too obvious about it, just suggest that they ask Dad to "go shopping". :)
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