Thanks to all of you who commented on yesterday's post. You might be gratified at how much to heart I'm taking your suggestions and insights. Sometimes in blogging, the result is a primal scream, and, as always, I'm bowled over by your response.
To quote my favorite movie ever - When Harry Met Sally - "You're right, you're right...I know you're right."
And now I get to put it all into play...
Saturday, November 22, 2008
cue the Jaws music
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6 comments:
Just a thought, I've been reading The Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser. A bunch of my co-workers went to his training this summer...LOVE IT. I'm kind of getting into what he is saying and trying to implement more of his strategies. Many parents around here who are using his techniques are reporting huge success. Just a different thought, from the usual reward/consequence model, that is so hard to do when you are a working, single mom.
Good luck.
XXXXXX
I wish you lots of luck with whatever approach you try. The thing is to do something different. Something that will shake them out of their comfortable positions. I hope that you get lost of back up from your ex as well. He needs to take the same approach you do.
Whatever you decide to do...... call a family meeting and explain the rules..... these are the things expected of you...... these are the things that happen if you don't comply.
He will kick up like crazy at first & test you out.
Don't cave in.
Be strong.
If all else fails, then maybe send him to his Dad for a while. (If the X is able to give some strong male input, that is) If not forget that bit. Maybe there is a male figure he looks up to who would help you?
Best of luck.
don't get mad.
don't argue with them.
don't explain your position.
just say, "things have to change. we can't go on this way. here are the new rules."
and take it calmly from there. calmly.
if they throw roadblocks and arguments up, just say calmly that it's not up for negotiation, and let's get back to business.
you must stay calm.
bring notes if you have to, to keep on track.
CHANNEL SUPERNANNY.
Willing it all to go well.
I hope whatever you choose to do turns out to be effective and that it reduces the levels of stress and anger.
Hang on to the thought that you do all love each other and that these kids are good kids at heart. They are yours, after all.
hugs and good luck
I always say 'you're right, you're right, I know you're right' and have always known it's from a film, but couldn't remember which one.
Thanks for reminding me. :)
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