Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Spring Fever

All in all, we survived Spring Break pretty well. Everyone in the house seemed to just want to kick back and not do much, which is exactly what we did. It was fabulous. We had a solid week of off and on thunderstorms, which made it that much better. We are finally on the verge of spring, and not a second too soon. The daffodils I planted are up and the lilacs aren’t far behind.

No first day back to school after a week off would be complete without a kid trying to score an immediate sick day. Our little docudrama started Sunday night when Sasquatch shuffled into my room at 11 p.m. with a thermometer sticking out of his mouth. I looked carefully, but there didn’t appear to be any food at the other end of it. This was my first clue that trouble was brewing. He took the thermometer out. Cue sound effects. “Cough, cough, COUGH. Mommmmm, I don’t feel good, I think I have a fever,” he mumbled pathetically.

Now you have to understand that this is a kid who was born knowing how to manipulate the system, a future attorney if I ever saw one. And you also have to know that this particular performance is one of his specialties, and that I have fallen for it more than once, earning me heaps of (well deserved) scorn from The Film Geek. Not this time, buddy.

I’ll spare you the next thirty seconds of my monologue, but it all boiled down to Hell, no, I’m not buying THAT! He fired back that he had told me “several times” over vacation that he felt punky and that if I ever listened to him I wouldn’t be so surprised. (Mom’s Rule #1 – If you have enough energy to argue you aren’t really sick). I said refresh my memory on all these times you told me you didn’t feel well, because it’s not ringing a bell here. Was it before or after the birthday slumber party with ten teenage boys invading my living room and swallowing the entire contents of my fridge? Before or after the other three assorted sleepovers and two separate all-nighters? Before or after the one movie, two trips downtown, three meals out, the purchase of a new gaming system with ill-gained birthday loot or the thirty four Rock Stars you’ve inhaled since vacation started? WELL??

I was on a roll since his mouth was full and he was afraid to open it to argue since that might cool off the thermometer. Believe me, I take these moments when I can. Then he took the thermometer out.100.3.I made him take it again in front of me. 100.4. I told him to go to bed and we’d figure it out in the morning. I googled how to tamper with a digital thermometer. I did not go to sleep happy.

The next morning nothing had changed. Shuffle, shuffle, cough, hack, whine. Drum roll please. And the verdict is… 100.3. I hung my head and sent him back to bed.

This was Monday and said child has not been to school since. I even took him to the doctors and had him tested for strep. It came back negative. They wanted to test him for mono. Negative again (thank god). Just a good old stay in bed and drink lots of fluids virus. We couldn’t get in to see our regular doctor, and saw someone new. I guess I looked a little sour, because at one point she looked at me and said, “He really is sick, you know. His throat looks just awful”. The tone in her voice said “what kind of nurse are you??” You don’t want to know sister, trust me.

By now he’s definitely on the mend and probably could be back at school today, but I figured one more day of rest couldn’t hurt. He’s still not anywhere near full speed, but he’s heading in the right direction.

By some odd coincidence one of his closest friends has the same exact thing and has also missed school this week. He’s not faking it either. Must be all those shared Rock Stars.

I bet his parents were a lot nicer about it than I was.


pursegirl said...

ok, I give. I've had this secret blog since 2005. I hardly ever write in it, but I have agreed to start writing one for Free State Family. Yikes. Be nice- I'm fragile. And I love the way you write this down. It's nice to know your sarcasm works on paper- or in cyberspace- or whatever!!!!!

Happy in the Abyss said...

I love the whole "if you have enough energy to argue..." comment. GOD! We are becomming our Mothers. Oh no...wait. I'm already there! Grey hair and all!!!!

Brian said...

the bus driver told me she wasn't letting middle child on the bus because she is "sick". GIVE ME A BREAK!!! Could it possibly be that the pollen count is in the thousands and she's allergic to it all??? What gives it away, the eyes that are swollen shut??? I told the principal that when the bus driver gets the MD put behind her name, then I'll allow her to diagnose my kids.