I'm exhausted.
Totally exhausted.
And I had the day "off". When I come home from work I'm tired. When I have the day "off" I'm whipped. What's wrong with this picture?
Well, let's see. How about we start with what isn't the problem. It isn't about keeping up the house by myself because I'm used to that. It isn't about dealing with the kids because I'm used to that. It isn't about staying on top of all the logistical things because I'm used to that, too. It isn't about the shopping and cooking and cleaning and driving and wrangling and breaking up fights and finding the remotes and wiping up muddy dog prints and doing laundry and paying bills, because that's all par for the course. Granted, I'd rather not do them all on the same day, but rub a lamp. We all have three impossible wishes we'd like granted. Aladdin doesn't live at this address. Never has.
Today my problem has been that I have spent the day running around making everyone else happy and haven't gotten to do a damn thing I've wanted to do. There was a party tonight I was really looking forward to (and it was a lot of fun), but I was so stressed by the time I got there I could barely relax. All I could think of was everything I still had to get done.
My kids still tend to look at the world in terms of "what can you do for me?", rather than "how can I help you?" and in spite of the fact that I'm kicking up quite a shitstorm about this, still just don't get it. When you're supposed to load the dishwasher and your mother comes in the door to two sides of a sink full of dishes and you tell her it is done because you can't fit another thing in and then your mother proceeds to do just that (in about thirty seconds), it doesn't look so good. And to follow that up immediately with a request to go on eBay to buy some new clothes is just plain foolish.
And to top it all off, I found out today that something is being planned for my birthday at Bunco tonight. There's only one problem. I won't be there. I worked my whole schedule this week around a business trip of the FG's, a trip that later fell through. By then it was too late for me to do anything about it. So I'm working on Bunco night and will be a no-show at my own party.
I know in the grand scheme of things it isn't the end of the world. So why do I feel so rotten?
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
confessions of a ranting correspondent
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16 comments:
ugh, hon. so sorry it's all going so badly. this too shall pass.
A rant! I'm having one too! We could rant together if you like.
The picture makes me sick! Life is NOT like that. Oh.. don't set me off!
Did a birdie say it was your Birthday? You share it with my old man then!
Happy Birthday!
Despite it all, have a happy birthday.
Bummer about the party! I know how you feel - I am feeling as if I am on a hamster wheel at the moment, life is just non-stop. Next day off, let's make a pact to do what WE want. Good luck! :)
here's a word you might want to learn:
NO.
happy birthday.
I won't.
I can't.
Do it yourself.
Have you lost your mind?
These are some of my favorite things to say when my children say, "Mom, would you . . .?"
Because even when the spouse doesn't physically help, you feel like you have someone in your corner (even if you know that's not exactly true) and now you feel wholly responsible with no one to catch you if you fall. But even if you do fall, you'll get back up and remember: the friends you have were always more help than maybe you realized? And they'll be there for you. It's hard, make no mistake. But it WILL get easier. And better.
PS Happy Birthday!! And I agree with Laurie and Kaycie too!
Sounds a bit too familar, just had the exact same dishwasher experience myself.
I am sorry you are getting hit, with all the responsiblities, all at the same time. It stinks. All I can say is there will be better days. Really, there will.
Happy Birthday. I hope you get to do something special.
XOXOXO
Thank you all. My birthday actually isn't until Monday - but Bunco only gets together once a month.
Why are so many of us having such a rough time right now?
Ugh.
Oh...and
No
I won't.
I can't.
Do it yourself.
and
Have you lost your mind??
I like it. Can I use them on my patients today??
My life without children has made me feel like this very often. Especially when I was left holding the bag on everything.
Once you get use to that it does get better. Some days.
I'm with Laurie - you need to crack that whip - especially now!
Happy Burpday.
Mental stress. You're forgetting that mental stress is just as tiring as physical stress.
Happy birthday, though.
Simply Jenn's comment reminded me of an old joke about woman's troubles all starting with men -
menopause
mental stress
mental fatigue.
There you have it. You live (and work) in a testosterone heavy world. Put estrogen in their wheaties.
RC:
I almost welcome days like those now, being way older than you, as the only way out is UP.
Up with you girl.
Happy Birthday and I just about peed myself reading about Doctor Thigh!
XO
WWW
I agree with Rose, it really does make a difference ...it's just the knowing that they are there if needed that makes things seem less...but when you know they are not there and will not be there it makes things seem more...
I hope it all feels less soon! xo
You feel rotten because someone was going to do something nice for you, which you TOTALLY deserve, and you couldn't even take advantage of it. If the dishwasher is full tell those boys to add soap and run it! Then S, G, and SD can unload, re-load and wash again. That simple! Tell them I said so.
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