the phone call

Round One:


The phone rang at 10:45 this morning and one of the kids grabbed it downstairs. A minute later Surfer Dude came up to tell me that someone from work had called and I needed to call them back. So I did. And this is what I heard:


Co-worker: "Wow. It must be nice to sleep until almost 11 in the morning."


RC: "I wasn't asleep. What makes you think I was asleep?"


CW: "Well, that's what your son said. He said you couldn't come to the phone because you were still sleeping."


RC: "I was not sleeping. I was upstairs and they were downstairs and they were too lazy to come up and hand me the phone. I was wide awake."


CW: " Sure you were."


Round Two:


A few hours later, I had just gotten out of the shower and was standing in my bedroom drying off when the phone rang. Gumby came running upstairs and thrust the phone in my wet, Neutragena body oil covered hand.


Gumby (immediately before handing over the phone): "Here she is, Stacey."


RC (hair dripping and greased up phone sliding): "Hi, Stace."


Round Three:


Me, standing in the kitchen and talking to Stacey again later in the day. Enter Sasquatch who says (completely out of left field):


"Oh, by the way My Two Cents (aka Susan, my dear friend in California) called and wanted you to call her back."


RC: "She did? Today?"


SQ: "No. It was a couple of days ago. I just remembered."


And as the sound of Stacey's laughter streamed out of the phone, all I could think was:


"Oh, my god. These are the kids I'm sending out into the world?"