Just another weekend in the ER...
Female patient giving her chief complaint to the triage nurse - "I was in here yesterday because I wanted you to fix my hangover but the wait was too long and I got bored. So I went out into the parking lot and slept with some guy I met in the waiting room and the rat bastard stole my Vicodin right after. Can you give me a refill?"
Trashy looking mother of a toddler with bronchitis to RN - "Well, no I didn't get her antibiotic prescription filled. I didn't have the money. Yeah, I know it's on the $4 plan at Wal-Mart. But I was out of cigarettes. I get mean when I don't have my smokes. She deserves a mother who isn't mean, don't you think?"
Woman with metal barbells about two inches long and maybe a quarter of an inch around stuck through each of her nipple piercings to her RN (as the RN removed a piece of tape from her arm) - "Oh, my god, stop. You're killing me, bitch. I've never felt pain like that in my life." (Delivered in a loud enough scream that both an aide and a doc stuck their head in the door to see who was murdering who. They both later volunteered to help me).
And here's a final thought - If, on your way out the door post-discharge, you happen to turn around and notice your doctor and your nurse high-fiving each other and clinking coke cups together joyously...yes, it is because you're leaving.
Honest. I'm a nurse. I'd never lie to you.