Monday, June 9, 2008

tongue twister


One of our doctors made a very serious mistake this week. With any luck I'm wrong, but I think he'll be paying hell for this for a long time. It's too bad, because he's a great doc and a really good guy, but he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time.


He was in an exam room performing a pelvic exam on a woman in her thirties. As usual with pelvic exams, there was a female nurse in the room with him to provide legal recourse if he was accused of any impropriety. The standard thing for the doc to say, right before they start the exam, is "Okay, you're going to feel my hand on your leg". This eliminates the element of surprise for the patient, and prepares them for the exam.


What he meant to say and what he actually said were, unfortunately, two different things. He said "Okay, you're going to feel my thigh on your leg". When the nurse cracked up (with the patient right behind her) our cute young thang doc still didn't realize what he had said until the nurse, with delicious glee, repeated it word for word. He turned shades of red not even identified yet, finished the exam as fast as possible, and fled the room. Everyone in the unit had heard about it within a day.


Enter another one of our docs - the department prankster. He and one of the nursed fiddled with cute young thang's pager system and, kindly, let everyone else in on what they had done. By the time our poor, tongue twisted guy came on duty we were all clustered in his area trying to look like we were busily working. When he logged on to the voice activated system, it played his outgoing message that would greet anyone who called him. A breathy female voice, channeling every bad porn star ever said:


"Well, hey there, it's your thigh master".


The look on his face as this reverberated through the room was definitely worth the wait. And everything you've read really is true. You absolutely can't afford to make a single mistake in emergency medicine. Because there are people out there who will crucify you for it.


Heh.

18 comments:

WT said...

This is such a coincidence, just last weekend I was having dinner with my wife and I meant to say "could you pass the salt, please dear", but somehow I accidentally said "you've ruined my life you fucking bitch".

Pamela said...

better send that nurse over to Wt's.
He might be "passing" a pepper mill very soon. snort

Maggie May said...

Oh how cruel!

Carolyn said...

Oh, poor dear. But what I want to know is how long his punishment will last. At least until someone else makes a more embarrassing Freudian slip I'd guess.

LOL at WT.

Rudee said...

Good one RC. I wonder what the patient thought of it all. Let me guess, she came to the ER by ambulance for menstrual cramps and got a million dollar workup when advil would have been the answer-or something equally crazy but true.

I just aspirated my coffee wt. Thanks. Perhaps YDW could find another use for that mouse trap she so lovingly sent you.

Can I answer Carolyn's question RC? His punishment for the slip of the id will last until he leaves that hospital or all at once, his colleagues lose their tongues in a freak accident.

Kaycie said...

I hope he has a good sense of humor. Or at least isn't easily humiliated. I kinda feel sorry for the guy.

Kinda.

Kaycie said...

What I wanta know, RC, is if you did the porn star turn.

laurie said...

that's not the kind of ER mistake you think of when you think of ER mistakes.

Jo Beaufoix said...

The poor bloke, hee hee.
Catching up as usual. Glad you were ok with the empty house. I suppose it means you'll really get some you time which can't be a bad thing right?
And glad you survived getting slammed. Scary stuff.

Akelamalu said...

Oh dear I bet he wishes he'd stayed off work!

CrazyCath said...

That is too funny. And I just know every word is true.

I'm still laughing...

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh the poor wee bugger!

Hope you start to enjoy your weekends sans kids - just think of the luxurious long baths, book reading and just general dossing that you will be able to do with practice!

Janie said...

Oh, yeah, he's gonna pay for a long time.

That's funny.

I actually feel sorry for him!

Janie said...

WT - You make me laugh!

Eileen said...

Poor guy. It will be a while before this one goes away. I hate when stuff like that happens.

What a group to work with. Never a dull moment with the patients or your staff!

XOXO

Sandy said...

Too, too funny!

Shubhajit said...

funny and well written... this type of things happen in everybody's life once in a while

Vika said...

hilarious. I remember a friend (who was learning English) was asked out to a posh dinner in someone's house. He asked the host 'Can I have a fork now please', however given his thick Russian accent the word 'fork' came out as 'f**k'. He learnt the second word a couple of weeks later and was mortified at his mistake. And nobody else forgot either...