Saturday, April 11, 2009

I am NOT in the MOOD

Well, well, well.

I'm thinking I won't be meeting the girlfriend after all, because I do believe that the FX has been reading my blog...and adjusting his schedule to reflect that. Perhaps what slipped out of his mouth tonight as I dropped kids off was accidental, but I think not. I think the man is still reading my blog.

Why in the world would you be interested in little ol' me and my opinion, she asked? If you're looking for a camera pointing at your virtues, you're really in the wrong place. And please remember, as you court those who worship you blindly...that I know what lies under that civilized veneer.

You might want to stop reading. NOW.


Devon said...

I agree... It is not healthy for someone to be so involved in the thoughts of their ex. I know curiosity would be a factor, but in the name of good mental health, I would hope he stops reading this.

On the other hand RC, it is the internet and you have to admit that privacy is not an expectation here.

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on this. He has no right to read your blog. No good reason, unless he is looking to use your words against you. I don't see how he can, but it just seems so very, very wrong. Yet, not surprising. Maybe it is curiosity, maybe it is control, maybe it to gain information or to justify his actions. No matter what the reason, he lost that right when he left. You so don't deserve this. You have been taking the High Road, putting the boys first and trying to move on. Yet, his road blocks and manipulation can't let you move forward.
Maybe you should think about a password, cause I don't think you can really stop it.

For the record, if you do go to a password, please include me.

Try to have a Happy Easter and a good weekend with your boys. F***k his birthday, let him deal with it. The boys are going to have to find out on their own what their dad is about (good or bad) and work out their own relationship with him (good or bad). You have to step back and let it play itself out, no matter how painful it is to see. No one wants their children to hurt, but you can't protect them all the time.

I know too long, but I hate that you have to put up with this shit.

Take care. Eat lots of Easter chocolate...this weekend.


The Gossamer Woman said...

I moved my blog twice so that the Exfactor could no longer read it. I don't suggest you do that, because you do loose some readers along the way (you can't notify everyone), but it worked and now he has no idea what I'm writing about. It is unhealthy for your ex too read your blog, even if they are curious, but they need to be protected from themselves. Sometimes it's a compulsion they can't overcome. A macabre fascination to read the dirt about themselves. Think about moving yours and notifying as many people as you can. It does mean renaming your blog and you may not like that. Or maybe you do and it's the start of a new phase in your life.

Frances said...

If you want to know for sure if he's reading it, you will have to test it by posting something and not telling him.

I would leave it as it is - ignore the fact that you think he's reading it and carry on posting. His problem if he reads something he doesn't like.

Possibly he just did the math and realised that you would meet. Would he be bothered if you met? Could it just be a coincidence - ??

I hope you will invite me if you password it.
I found the same as Irene, I lost most of my readers when I went private on my blog and I didn't get them on the alternative public blog.

Akelamalu said...

Another blogger I read had given up her blog recently because her ex is reading it and she felt she was under the spotlight all the time. I suppose giving it up or making it private is the only answer.

Cath said...

he he he
He might get more than he bargained for. :)

laurie said...

what Irene said.

Mya said...

I hope he does read write so eloquently of these things...

Mya x

Rudee said...

That probably shouldn't come as a surprise, but I don't think I'd let that stop me from writing or being creative. If he hates what you write, just wait until he reads your book!

Kaycie said...

Well, you could take it private like I did. The people I cared about still come by and read, and I even have made new cyber friends since doing the password protect.

I can't believe it ever occurred to you that he'd quit reading your blog.

aims said...

He's one of those is he?

Wants to see if you're writing about him. Wants to learn if you have someone else that he doesn't know about or if you're pining away for him still.

Gawds! He makes me want to puke RC.

Put it at the back of your mind because it's going to change your writing. Don't let him do that to you. Don't.

Your writing is precious to you and to us. You have to write from your heart. If you feel you can't write things anymore it's going to get all bottled up and hurt you in some way.

It's either mentally block it or like Irene says - move your blog.

the rotten correspondent said...

I'm watching to see how today plays out, and it's already very interesting. I'll keep you all posted.

I told him last Spring to stop reading my blog and he said he would. I want to believe that he's keeping his word, but am not sure why I would even think that.

And I do think it's a way to keep tabs on me, and maybe assure himself that he's doing much better than I am post-divorce. It's funny, though, because as we all know, blogging represents such a small section of our lives, and a lot of stuff happens to all of us that we would never put out there for the world to see. In other words, the blog is a portion of our lives, but certainly not the whole thing.

I think it just represents a seriously unhealthy mindset when my words are that important to him. Doesn't really indicate much forward movement, does it?

Anonymous said...

We all know that women are not the easiest creatures to understand, so if reading a blog gives them some insight into our complicated little worlds, then I say good for them. I'm sorry, but it seems like you would rather talk to people who will sympathize with you as opposed to talking to him and possibly improving the lives of the boys by trying to keep both of you on the same page. It's very possible that he is NOT reading your blog and that one of your readers is tipping him do live in a college town.

Wisewebwoman said...

Can't you track his useage on Stats Counter? Just a thought.
I just did with a 'stalker' on mine who broke through my anonymity and I'm trying to find out why. I am totally uncomfortable as I, like you get very personal on my blog.

auntiegwen said...

RC, I read all and comment little. I accept that this is the internet and what is written is up for public consumption but I feel when people are no longer my husband/lover/friend they lose the right to read my blog. I have no issue with the world at large reading my struggles but I don't want the cause of my unhappiness knowing what I'm feeling.