Imponderables

Why is it that...

The amount of time my husband takes to get off of the only computer in the house I can use to post my blog is directly proportional to the number of times Surfer Dude will then stand behind me and say, "hey, mom" every fifteen seconds?

There is a tube of toothpaste in my car and a full shampoo bottle in the upstairs library but neither one is to be found in a bathroom and miraculously both appear to have walked to their current positions unaided?

Neither Surfer Dude nor Gumby will go into the upstairs bathroom by themselves claiming that there's a ghost in there but anxiously await the television show "The Haunting" and watch it avidly when they think I'm pre-occupied?

There is a badminton racket that moves freely from room to room no matter how many times I put it away? Let's not even ask why a badminton racket is in the house in the first place. All I know is it was in every room downstairs yesterday and yet no one seems to have touched it. It's now in the back of the dining room closet and I anxiously await its jailbreak. Shouldn't take long.

Sasquatch is desperately interested in what we're having for dinner and will grill me on this all afternoon and then, after I've made concessions I didn't necessarily want to, will ask me if he can meet his friends downtown and have pizza?


Every one of my kids will obsess over a TV show they're waiting for (sometimes for weeks) and then talk through the entire thing?


Or that The Film Geek will hear a song on the car radio and exclaim about how long it's been since he's heard this most loved song and then immediately turn the volume off to tell me all about the last time he heard it?


A long lost object (in this case Surfer Dude's collection of plastic bugs) must become the subject of a frantic and increasingly belligerent search the minute my butt hits the computer chair? Or that my husband, with me standing behind him to get on the computer, accidentally turns it off instead of logging off so I have to restart the whole thing?


I officially give up. You heard it here first.