The Thursday Three

On this dreary Thursday, how about discussing...


Trashy Novels


Don't tell me you don't have a clue what I'm talking about. Don't even try. I'm on to all of you. There's almost nothing like a trashy novel, is there? Almost (but not quite) better than a chick flick. Having recently been sucked back into one the topic is fresh on my mind. (And now that I've finished it I can get on with my life).


I claim to not like romance novels of the bodice ripper variety, but at the base of it isn't that really what trashy novels are? The best ones, anyway. Oh, there's a lot of other stuff in there - greed, power, sex, money, lying, treachery, insider gossip, exotic locations - the entire trashy novel check-off list.

And I'm not talking totally sleazy here, either. None of that formulaic mumbo-jumbo. (Pick one from each category: Is your heroine orphaned, abused or simply penniless? Is her bosom heaving, glowing or straining? And the hero - is he virile, spoiled or self-made? Well? Plug in your answers and pop out a book).

My trashy novels at least have some substance. And if you believe that rationale - stick around. I've got a million more where that came from.



#1. Scruples, by Judith Krantz. This was one of the first to hook me and, coincidentally, the last. The first time was when I was a teenager and I was so hooked that I took it in the car and read it at stoplights. I was the driver, in case you were wondering. The last time was when I picked up a copy my mom has at the lake (after she had finished it, mind you) and started thumbing through it. That was pretty much it.


When we came home I still wasn't finished (damn kids and them wanting things like food, love and entertainment) so my mom said to take the book home with me. I said I was sure I had a copy at home somewhere and besides taking it home was giving it a little too much power, if you know what I mean. So I got home and couldn't find it anywhere. Tore the house apart. Twice. The punch line to not "letting the book call the shots"? After a couple of days of twitching, I actually went and took it out of the library, hoping to hell I didn't see anyone I knew and shielding it with a copy of Quantum MicroPhysics for Doctoral Candidates just in case.


My husband says I do my Thursday Three all wrong. He says that the best of the bunch should be #3, like in a Top Ten list and not #1 like I do it. I say if there's a clear cut winner you might as well put it out there right away. This isn't the Oscars, after all.

This book? Is a clear cut winner. An absolute classic of the genre, the stereotypical "page turner" if there ever was one. There are sequels, but don't bother. She takes a wonderful thing and jacks it up, all in the interest of selling more books. But Scruples? Too good to put down. I'm not even going to tell you what it's about. Just read it.




#2. Lace, by Shirley Conran. Oh, come on. You all know this one. Remember the tag line "Which one of you bitches is my mother?"
What? You don't? Have you never seen the campy '80s mini-series based on this book that set camp back decades? They rerun it often as an example of how not to make a mini-series. Made Rocky Horror look like a National Geographic documentary produced by the Vatican. The mini-series - not so hot. But the book is another story.

I seem to have a soft spot for the genre that follows a group of school friends through their lives to see what they make of it. To me this is one of the best of the bunch (although I also really like Rona Jaffe's Class Reunion).


Four girls (from, of course very different backgrounds) meet at an exclusive European boarding school and it all goes to hell in a handbasket from there. But it's an entertaining ride all the way.





#3. Rage of Angels, by Sidney Sheldon. I cannot tell you how this pains me to admit this, because I really think that Sidney Sheldon is a dreadful writer. Choppy, the master of half-finished sentences and pretty formulaic in his own way. And yet the man sucks me in more than I'd like.

But wait. It's worse. For me, this one is in hot competition with another of his books - If Tomorrow Comes - for my top three. So...he actually has two of my top four. Aargh. I am clearly beyond redemption.

This was also a mini-series (as was Scruples, now that I think about it), but as I never saw it I can't really trash it. (Man, they made a lot of trashy novels into mini-series in the '80s, didn't they?)

This one is about an idealistic young attorney who, without intending to, goes over to the dark side. Of course it's not that simple - these books never are.

Would we read them if they were?

Now...let's hear from everyone else...