The Thursday Three

It's a day late for Halloween, but as I face the prospect of three kids on sugar highs I'm thinking about fear. So today, how about

Frightening Experiences

as a topic? Just to even the playing field a little (and to keep this post under 200 pages) I'm not going to list anything that directly involved any of my kids. Just because. And health issues. None of those either. I'm feeling very contrary today.




And this picture has nothing to do with anything.
It just freaks me out. I hope the Film Geek never comes home in one of those. But if he does, I'd better have a camera handy. Because those shots are going to be worth some cash.






#1. 1992 Los Angeles Riots. I was at home in the 'burbs with barely a month old Sasquatch and the FG was at his alma mater, USC, doing something or other when everything started. USC is about as close to ground zero as you can be and he was basically trapped. He couldn't get out through all the chaos. It took him almost six hours to make a fifteen minute trip.

I stood on a freeway overpass right by our house and looked toward downtown LA, which was enveloped in smoke. Where I was it was deathly still, at least at that point. It got a little crazed later.

And for six hours I carried my infant in my arms and paced. This was pre-cell phones and he sure as hell wasn't going to get out at a pay phone to call home.

Not a lot of fun. He doesn't get welcome home greetings like that every day.


#2. Bad hydraulics. Summer before last the kids and I were on a flight to LA when the pilot got on the PA system. We had been in the air about twenty minutes at that point. He told us that the plane had had a serious hydraulic system failure and that we needed to turn around and land back in Kansas City ASAP. At first I thought it was a joke, because we were on Southwest and those people are pranksters of the highest order, with all of their weird hats and hilarious boarding instructions. They're capable of anything. Not that this is exactly joke material, but still.

No joke. We turned around and headed back. Sasquatch and Gumby were sitting directly in front of Surfer Dude and I. Gumby had his head stuck in a book and didn't have a clue what was going on. Sasquatch, who has anxiety issues to start with, turned around and looked at me. He didn't say a word. I told them all that everything was going to be fine, it was just a precautionary measure that we were going to change planes.

And then I settled back, with my head resting on Surfer Dude, and distracted myself by seeing how high my pulse could get without him noticing. I had my fingers on my carotid for twenty minutes - while the plane banked very awkwardly to land, when the pilot told us to expect a pretty rough landing, and finally as we raced down the runway past a line up of emergency vehicles with their lights flashing. I doubled my resting heart rate. I bet I could have gone even higher.

And the kid's response? "That was cool!!"

#3. 1987 Whittier Earthquake. Let's just get this on the table right away. I've been in bigger earthquakes. Way bigger than this wimpy little 5.9. I've just never been right on top of one. We were so close to the epicenter of this quake that the first clue I had was a huge sound like lightning hitting something. It was the ground cracking. Right under my feet. Then the shaking started.

I had plants flying through the air. My refrigerator walked across the kitchen. I honest to god thought my house was coming down. My double yellow headed Amazon parrot was freaking out and I couldn't catch him. Of course I was alone, since the FG and I have some sort of an unwritten agreement that he will always be at work if there's an earthquake of any significance.

It was bad. As soon as it was over I threw the bird in his carrying cage and drove to my moms, where we rode out the aftershocks.

I'd like to not repeat that particular experience. Any of these experiences, now that I think about it.