Tuesday, October 21, 2008

confessions of a non-sensical correspondent

I'm a little punchy, but I seem to be amusing people in the process. I'm pretty sure they're laughing at me and not with me, but am too far gone to care.

A few examples:

I sat in front of a computer today wracking my brain for a word. It just wouldn't come. I grabbed another nurse as she walked by. (It should be mentioned that I think this particular gal is just about the best nurse I've ever met in my life. I want to be her when I grow up. She's about ten years younger, so that could be problematic, but you get the idea. She's not only near perfect, but she spends half her life pining for the ocean, too, only she's from New Jersey and thinks the Atlantic is a better ocean, which is plain silly, but I don't think that has anything to do with my original point).

Anyway, I said, "Help me. What's the word for the skin breakdown that we see all the time? It starts with an "I", but I'm totally drawing a blank. What the hell is it?"

And before she even had a chance to open her mouth, it popped in my head and I said, "Cellulitis! That's it!"

And she said, "Um, cellulitis doesn't start with an I."

Well, who the heck knew? Maybe on the West Coast?

Then my nursing school buddy was giving me hell about my stated intention to give up men for the rest of my life. She seems to feel that this is unrealistic, not to mention an all-around bad idea, and the more adamant I become, the more pig headed she gets. It's a vicious cycle for the both of us.

She was really letting me have it, partly because she thinks I've lost my marbles anyway for deliberately working five days in a row.

"Do you know what I'm going to do?" she asked, "when you're in bed with some drop dead gorgeous guy having the time of your life?"

"Take the magazine away?" I guessed.

She actually blew Diet Doctor Pepper out of her nose. But she left me alone after that. Thank god she didn't ask me how to spell magazine.

But I've left out the best part. Tonight as I was leaving, ten minutes before the end of my shift, our entire computer system at work crashed. It's still out. And I'm not there. Neener, neener, neener.

One more day. Heaven help us all.


Anonymous said...

Your so funny and so tired. Know we know never, ever do this again. 5 days in a row is too much, even for super women like you.

Glad the computer crashed AFTER your shift. Someone up there is watching out for you. Lets pray it is up and running before your shift tomorrow.

Get some sleep!

my two cents said...

Until you have actually been to the Jersey shore you should definitely not form an opinion about the Pacific being better in any way shape or form. This advice is brought to you courtesy your best Zuma buddy, who knows that as much as Zuma keeps me sane, it pales in comparison.

There are two things you need to do sometime in your life: Experience fall in New England and summer down the shore.

Irene said...

Having only experienced the Pacific and the North Sea, I must say that I found the Pacific much superior. Nothing can beat the California coast, up and down. Oregon and Washington too, of course.I don't believe the Atlantic can beat that, provocatively said.

Graham Cracker said...

I'm with My Two Cents on this one (and most other things). For the definitive answer on which is the best ocean I refer you to Sixteen Year Old Boy's fifth grade report on New Jersey, where he explains that the sand on Jersey beaches is so much softer than on California beaches. But any ocean beach has healing powers.

Glad your stint of 12 hour shifts is coming to an end.

Graham Cracker said...

P.S. And sixteen year old boy is a native Californian who also loves the Pacific Ocean.

Marti said...

I know you are tired RC, but your humor is still intact, which is one of the things I love about you!

Glad the 5 day shift is coming to an end!

Tiggerlane said...

OMG...I am totally laughing WITH you!

You do have great wit...it's what will help you survive the 5-day-in-a-row stint.

And I totally get the link between the "I" and "cellulitis." It's the "-itis" connection.

Daryl said...

You are so funny. And I get a kick out of how your mind works, sort of a funnier/more clever way than mine but not really.

A friend of mine who I adore who got divorced from a complete piece of sheet was almost over it when he decides to kill himself over Thanksgiving 2 yrs ago .. thanks a lot loser ... she is now insistent that she will never ever ever ever date ... or get involved again ...

So I totally get how you feel but I also agree with your soda snorting pal ... NEVER say never, you know?


CrazyCath said...

I still don't know HOW you survived that five shifter....