Tuesday, December 2, 2008

torn


I was on-call today, and sure enough my phone rang three quarters of the way through my treadmill run. It was THAT kind of call, and my heart sank, as I've so far managed to be on-call for all the uneventful days. Say good-bye to that streak. Before we even finished with the first person, a second one was coming in the door. I spent virtually my entire "day off" at work.


Sometimes I think I project a tougher persona than is completely true, and that often people think I'm more bullet proof than I really am. I'm certainly not believing my own hype tonight. At least I'm formulating an answer for how I'll end up handling this. I've always been neurotic about personal safety. I think that may get even worse.


In the meantime, thank heaven for three kids at home and three big, loud, protective dogs. Because otherwise...

14 comments:

Stacie said...

It sounds bad, without you really saying anything directly. It must have really been bad in reality. Hugs to you.

Rudee said...

You had two sexual assault cases in one shift? That's awful. I'd be more aware and worried too. I hope it's awhile before you get called again for something like this.

sharon said...

That's awful. Poor women. Hope the b******s get caught, and soon!

ped crossing said...

Keep those big dogs near you tonight. I'm sure those women appreciated having someone so caring helping them through such a frightening experience.

Maggie May said...

I don't know how you do it but I'm sure that there are so many that you help, who are glad you do.
Good you you girl!

Pamela said...

I'm thankful that you were there for someone elses daughter's today.

distracted by shiny objects said...

Been to the abyss also and know how you feel. My way of dealing isn't good for much, after all I cry suddenly at random commercials and can't read a news story to my husband without choking up, but after many years I figured out that I did not cause any of the badness happening to other people and that I was one link in a chain of many who were going to help this person get their footing back. One person at a time and baby steps. Blessings to you.

Kaytabug said...

Okay, Pamela made me cry. I know I couldn't do what you do, being a nurse, but I certainly couldn't be a SANE nurse. I'd want to go hunt down that SOB and use a dull butter knife to take away his man parts because he is no man.

You are an amazing woman. I just want to give you a BIG long bear hug. XO

Kaycie said...

Those women were lucky to have you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time dealing with what you saw, and I'll send strength and good thoughts your way.

Pamela made me tear up, too.

Akelamalu said...

Oh dear, I really don't know how you cope with cases like that. :(

Frances said...

ach - awful.
Keep strong honey and try not to think about what you heard/saw too much. You have to stay in balance for your own sake.
hugs.
Keep well.

Devon said...

I think balance is so important. After the awful sh**, you were there to help those women.

I've worked ambulance, er, icu and I know without a doubt, I couldn't do what you do. I just want to say thank you for being there for those who need you so badly.

Hope you are able to shut it down and find your own peace... you certainly deserve it!!

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

Bless you and your special training for being there. I know that doesn't make you immune to the details, but I am glad for those women that they had someone like you there.

Yes, thank God you don't live alone and have protective dogs. I guess that's a real blessing to, isn't it?

Bless your heart. I'm sure we're all very proud of you. I know I am. I would want someone like you to be there for me.

Cheryl said...

I have had to sit in on those exams, holding many a hands. It is awful, but what makes it easier is caring people like like. Thank God for nurses like you.