Saturday, December 13, 2008

on tape


What's the proper answer for the following scenario?


You've removed an IV from a patient in readiness to discharge them. This, unfortunately, involves a fair amount of tape pulling which admittedly doesn't feel great. The patient - college aged, preppy and surrounded by her sorority friends - has howled and cried her way through the tape and IV removal, at one point pitifully imploring me to "just get it out". One friend is stroking her head and another is grasping her hand. By the time we're done (thirty seconds), she's in tears.


She then proceeds to ask me my opinion of drug-free and natural childbirth. (Out of nowhere. No context whatsoever). At my baffled face, she informs me that even though she is years away from having children, she knows that she won't consider any kind of drugs at all in her labor and is already filing away information about how to go about this. Clearly, the fact that I'm wearing a stethoscope makes me some sort of labor and delivery expert, and she expects some kind of a relevant answer.


Would you go with:


A. It's totally your choice how you have your baby - whenever that may be.


B. You have plenty of time to think about this. No need to make a decision right now.


C. Let me give you my phone number so you can call me when you go into labor - because this I've got to see.


There's an epidural riding on the answer.

19 comments:

Rudee said...

Right. My bet is she begs for an anesthesiologist to stick a needle in her back. If you see her again, send her to read my blogpost today. Maybe it'll give her something to cry about. I know it did for me.

ciara said...

i'd prob tell her that if you're too wussy to deal w the tape & ivy, you better schedule the drugs! haha o.k. i know you can't say that to a patient, but i'd be thinking it along w a few other things i wouldn't be able to say as well. hehe

ciara said...

IV not ivy...sheesh, i'm tired.

Maggie May said...

Well...... I'd have fobbed her off but would be secretly thinking *if you can't stand having a plaster removed, then don't have a baby, mate*
Bet she made a fuss when the IV went in!

Aoj and The Lurchers said...

Oh definitely C!

I've not had children but I've seen and heard enough to realise she'll be screaming for drugs at the crucial moment!!

softinthehead said...

LOL I was thinking C before I got there.

Devon said...

D. Laugh hysterically then comment, "Oh, were you serious?"

Frances said...

or E - Get lost.

Kaytabug said...

I'd go with C and say that drugs or no she'll probably still need an IV in place. And I'd remind her that she would at the least want the area numbed, especially if she tore/ripped her opening. I enjoy scaring naive ones! That girl will never make it through a nat. birth! Which brings me back to "this I gotta see!!"

the rotten correspondent said...

I felt like such a biatch, because I just wanted to smack this kid. I didn't start her IV, thank god, but the nurse who did had some stories to tell. Sheesh!

my two cents said...

I think Katybug is right, she'll need an IV even if she goes drug free. I think starting the IV was the worst part of my delivery, but then again, I was under general so not a lot to compare it too.

sharon said...

I'd probably tell her that she might want to re-think the whole idea of having children - ever!

Cheryl said...

I don't think she will have a natural, drug free delivery. No way. I'm sure she'll have her sorority sisters all around her as the anesthesiologist pokes that needle into her spine. Give me a break!
It is funny, RC, how people feel so comfortable talking to you. Perhaps you should become a therapist.
XXXXXX

Anonymous said...

I once had a patient who demanded her rings be removed from her fat fingers and absolutely refused to have them cut off.
so out came the string and lubricant and I eventually got them off.
I had this woman wailing and the 2 daughters on the floor crying "don't hurt my Mumma..., don't hurt my Mumma."



all of them were just pathetic

10/10 for performance

Sandy said...

Oh, definitely "c" and then PLEASE videotape it and put it on youtube...thanks.

Janie said...

you should have just jackslapped her.

oh.

wait.

you can't do that.

you're a professional.

Amy said...

If sorority girl can't even get an IV removed without crying, there's no way she's going to go through childbirth without drugs. I'm sure she'll have every moment planned and have a nervous breakdown when things do what they will rather than follow her will. And what's the damn deal with the obsession over the birth? You spend a few hours or a few days squeezing out the kid, then you have the rest of your life with the kid. Focus on life after the delivery because they're here no matter how they arrive.

Akelamalu said...

If she couldn't stand tape removal she'll be a prime candidate for being knocked out cold and being woken up when the child is 21!

flowerchild(: said...

Oh my gosh. If she's crying at THAT. Ha...good luck in life.