It all started with the phone call Wednesday morning from the high school detention officer, telling me that Sasquatch has a three hour detention after school Friday. Seems the fact that he's consistently ten minutes late to first hour has finally caught up with him. To sweeten the pot, from this point on every day he's late to first hour is an automatic three hour after school detention.
If you had been a fly perched on my wall when the new semester started in January, this is what you would have heard:
RC: You have to make a much better effort of getting to school on time.
SQ: It's alright, mom. You can have ten tardies before you get a detention.
RC: That doesn't mean that you should deliberately rack up ten tardies. Save them for when you really need them, like when there's ice on the car or you've legitimately overslept.
SQ: It's alright, mom. Don't worry about it. My first hour teacher doesn't care anyway.
RC: Really? I find it hard to believe that he wouldn't care that you're late every day. I would care if I were him. I'd care a lot.
SQ: It's alright, mom. Why do you always get so angry with me? You're always attacking me. Why are you in such a bad mood anyway? You're always in a bad mood.
And if you'd been a fly perched on my wall this morning this is what you would have seen:
RC: get up, make coffee, oversee breakfast and lunch making for younger two, shower, sign schoolwork and planners, feed dogs.
SQ (in same amount of time): put on socks.
Guess who was late to school?
It's alright...cause I don't give a shit.
Friday, February 15, 2008
it's alright...
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34 comments:
At least now that you don't give a shit, you won't always be in a bad mood, picking on poor little Sasquatch.
My sympathies. To you, his first period teacher and his detention monitor...lol.
that's the way to shirk responsibility, sasquatch lol it drives me nuts when my kids don't take responsibility and tell me things like 'my teacher doesn't care' or 'i don't have homework' when they really do, and a gaggle of excuses or whatever. i finally told them if you don't finish homework then you need to take it to school unfinished. it's YOUR responsibility.
hell, my son quit going to school. he'd get on the bus, but once at school, he'd go off w friends. i only discovered he wasn't going to school because i couldn't find my keys to go to work. i thought maybe he picked them up by mistake. they tell me oh he's not in 3rd period, but i'll check around to see where he is. i get a call bk and get told that he wasn't in 1st or 2nd period either. i pulled him out cuz he was too far behind, but it disappointed me because he was a frickin junior! hs is the easiest thing he would've had to deal with his entire life. but he was 'bored' and the teachers don't seem to care...hence the high dropout rate in vegas :(
This comment has no relevance to your post. Didn't know how to contact you otherwise. I was having fun with Photoshop... made something for you. If you want it, it's yours:
http://egerszegi.blogspot.com/
Can easily change the background colour to anything of your choosing.
Sorry. I should have also said... your current photo is beautiful, but you were talking about my blog looking cool and how you didn't know the technical side, so I thought I'd play around with something for you. It took me about fifteen minutes, so there will be no offence if you say yuck, no thanks!
Three hour detentions? Good lord, I am so glad Jeff's school doesn't dole them out. Mind if they did, I could just ship his bed there because I sure as hell wouldn't see him at home. He'd rack so many up it wouldn't be worth it. Sounds like he and Sasquatch were separated at birth ;)
Poor Sasquatch. He will be learning so much. I remember being surly and uncooperative in HS too. My nephew, the G-Man, was the same way.
Forwarding you something that will hopefully make it to your fridge with a magnet.
I'm laughing. But only because I'm getting that clone feeling again...
I forget how old Sasquatch is, but the responsibilities lie on his shoulders, because he is the one who will sit in detention and be bored to tears. He does have to learn that his inaction has consequences that effect him directly.
Yes, I am now, as a mother of a grown up daughter, a believer in the school of hard knocks. If you had put this dilemma to me at an earlier stage of my life, you would have seen me dragging my kids out of bed, getting them to school on time desperately. I was a very dedicated mother who would walk through fire for her kids. Doubtless you are the same.
Ach, we all grow wiser after the fact and bang our heads against the door jamb for not knowing better. There should be a commission of old wise women where younger mothers can go with their frustrations and get sober minded solutions and pats on the back.
There is something to be said for tribal village life.
Me again. Go and see the header that Carolyn has made for you. I've told her if you don't want it, I'm changing my name and having it myself!
I have it all to come, RC. Can't wait...
Funny post as usual. Don't they drive you crazy? My 23 year old came over for dinner last night and I wondered why as nothing seemed to meet her standards. By nothing, I mean me. She's my tough one. My youngest (18) makes me feel like a good mom, but my oldest?.....not so much. Hang in there.
he'll learn.
he's just one of those kids that need to learn the hard way. just like my nephew.
he'll learn. your job is to stand by and let him, at this point.
Well, I suppose if he's given enough detention and starts missing out on things like TV, and hanging out with friends, maybe, eventually, it will filter through his head. Do they give Saturday detention at his school? My brother hated that.
I'm such a goody-goody, I would have been shamed beyond belief to be given detention.
And I agree with Sandy, now that you don't give a shit, your blood pressure should be looking pretty good *grin*
3 hours after school is a looong time... It probably won't take many of those detentions to change Sasquatch's tune...
make sasquatch take the bus or borrow a ride. take away car. ;-)
I agree. If he's driving himself, confiscate those keys. It worked on my daughter, the sleepyhead who is always walking out the door five minutes before she has to be there.
And you know what, at his age, it's his job to give a shit, not yours.
morning update: his butt has to be in his first period chair at 8:08. His butt slid into my car seat at 8:07. Three more hours. Bam!
sandy - poor little guy. don't you feel bad for him, too??
ciara - I'm realizing that this is not in my control. I cannot drag a 6 foot 1 kid to school.
carolyn - that is absolutely frickin fabulous. Better than absolutely frickin fabulous. I'll contact you later when I have a little time. I want to run a couple of things by you, oh great computer master. You can also get me at my email rottencorrespondent@gmail.com
belle - isn't it pathetic? although I like the idea of the bed at school. I wonder if they'd feed them too.
pixelpi - got it and I love it. I'll post it for tomorrow. Thank you!! It's more perfect than you know.
mother of this lot - wouldn't it be nice to be cloned in a good way though? Like if one of them did something wonderful or even...not awful?
irene - he'll be 16 next month. And you're right. I know you are. It's his responsibility. I can't do it for him and I don't want to anymore. I've done it for years and he doesn't give a rat's ass.I'm done.
potty mummy - I've found that none of my kid's basic personalities have changed that much. This kid has always been the high maintenance one from the day he was born.
rose - my younger two make me feel like I'm doing something right. But my oldest? Not so much.
laurie - I've come to the gut wrenching conclusion that I have to let him go down in flames. I can't save him.
jen - he's already lost so much, due to the last report card. No 360, no cell phone, grounded during the week. The iPod and the tv are the only things he has left.
lisa - that's what I thought originally, but do you know what they do? they watch movies, for god's sake. make them do homework or clean bathrooms or something they don't WANT to do.
lil mouse - he doesn't drive, thank god. I won't let him, even though here you can get a license at 14. Are they insane? 14??
kaycie - I know it's his job. But he doesn't give a shit. Not even half a shit. How do you make someone care??
I read your blog every morning while Jack is taking the other two to school and Steven is showering. This morning I had to read your blog to Steven, and guess what he said, Oh yeh I was late 3 times to Biology and I had D-hall yesterday and forgot to go, but it's o.k. because they are really relaxed. Do they sound like twins or what?
My son is morphing into the same sort of creature as your Sasquatch. I can't even begin to understand his thoughts, words or actions about half of the time.
I think I'm going to stop caring! Kidding/ Sort of.
Make him start saying "Do you want fries with that?" So when he finally goes down in flames he will be prepared for his career.
And a license at 14, that is frightening.
I suspect that the "it's alright" attitude will quickly disappear as he racks up his detentions. Sometimes, though, it takes a while for even that to sink in. Until then, often it becomes about how the world is against them, and there is no connection to how their actions are impacting a situation.
At a conference I attended a few years back, the expert explained things like this: Think about your students/kids in this way. The reasoning part of their brain is not developed enough to see the consequences of their actions. The development of this part of the brain doesn't finish until the early twenties. What does that mean? Their brains are essentially disconnected in the reasoning area and don't work the way an adult's does. That is the challenge for those of us who deal with them. And that is why they do such stupid stuff.
Maybe you can use the Sasquatch free time (when he is in his detentions) to do something nice for yourself.
My sympathies to you . Hope you have a good weekend.
Don't they just drive you crackers!!! Mine were just the same. :(
You don't give a shit?! Yeah, alright, I believe you.
What do they do in detention (this little goodie two shoes has never done it)? It's obviously not unpleasant/humiliating/ nauseating/ undermining/ embarrassing/uncool enough.
I have all this to come in ten years time. I can't wait. Not.
Hang in there, RC.
Mya x
Sounds like 'The Breakfast Club'...three hour detention..wow!
Serves him right btw..
oh me oh my......thinking of you! I wish I could help in some way.
for the record though. I love those Sasquatch commericals.
Oh! I think ped crossing has the solution: Make him stand at the kitchen counter and practice saying "And do you want fries with that?" While wearing a hairnet on his lovely locks!
Actually, I shouldn't be in this conversation since am childless except for a dog. No camparison, because the dog always wants to please.
Hee hee. Ahhh sweetie, they're little buggers sometimes aren't they?
And I have an award for you. :D
Hells Ya- you go!!!!!
You kill me you are so funny!
My four-year-old nephew told my sister-in-law just before Christmas that Santa would not be bringing her any presents because, "You get mad at someone EVERYDAY." Do you think in ten years he will be saying, "Why do you always get so angry with me? You're always attacking me. Why are you in such a bad mood anyway? You're always in a bad mood."?
It is frustrating! You've done all you could possible do, let it go. Time for him to face the natural consequences. This is a tough one I know, but it really is for the best!
Good luck!
XOXOXO
Hm. 3 hours punishment for 10 minutes of tardiness. I'd think that sort of math might be expected to sink in after 10 or 20 times...Especially on a Friday afternoon.
Congratulations to you! I'd gleefully not give a shit, either. In fact I'd go so far as to do a private little "told-ja-so" dance.
Thats a whole lot of detention , guess they have to do something though.
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