Saturday, February 16, 2008

amazingly enough

Thanks to pixelpi for this absolutely perfect graphic for yesterday's post. I couldn't have said it better myself. And I look terrible in gingham unless it's red. So there you are.


I've been toying with an idea for a book lately. It's all still in the formative, who the hell knows what's going to happen next stage, but it's in progress. I've got a beginning and a middle, but the end is still up in the air. I hate that, don't you?

I thought I'd run a trial scene by you all to see what you think. My gut tells me it's too over the top, but my gut doesn't have the best track record, so input is appreciated. Really.

We open with our main character leaving the marriage counseling session from hell.

As she walks to her car, she notices that she's gotten a parking ticket.

And she has to go to her kid's school because she's the room parent in charge of the class party.

Because it's Valentine's Day.

And as a special treat the music teacher has arranged for the junior high school orchestra to play in the halls and serenade all the revelers as they clutch their bags of Valentine's cards and make their way to the various parties.

And the orchestra is playing Celine Dion.

"My heart will go on."

From Titanic.

Anyone not see Titanic? Not high on the happy ending scale.

In lugging supplies in for the party she hears this song approximately 36 times.

And she doesn't even like Celine Dion.

Never has.

And in total and absolute pent up anger and frustration and fear she does the only thing she can think to do, short of eating three tables worth of pink cupcakes with hearts on them.

She spots the room mother who made her winter holiday party such a pain in the butt and she slowly breaks into a smile.

As she deliberately walks toward her, malice on her mind, we end the scene.

Tell me the truth. Is anyone going to believe a word of this?

23 comments:

Willowtree said...

I'm not sure about the story, too many kids for me, but I do like the idea of your end being up in the air, it gives me some place to park my bicycle.

Amy said...

As we say here up nort, godammareddy! What did you do to her?

I mean, how did you choose to end this story? Or should we offer suggestions?

The Rotten Correspondent said...

peter - I've got your bicycle right here buddy.

amy - well, lets just say that the nasty room mom had her party hijacked right away from her. And our heroine claims it felt good...

my two cents said...

Brilliant, and well done. I believe every word and I am in stitches laughing. It is supposed to be funny, right?

Stacie said...

I am all smiles, too! I hope the room mother from hell got it good...you'll have to elaborate on this one! :-)

Sandy said...

I believe every single word - hurray! I always dislike THOSE room mothers, freakin' permanently perky people.

Can't wait till you figure out the end...or decide to share it.

laurie said...

do you ever watch "the new adventures of old christine"? my favorite (and only) sitcom. i picture the room mother looking like those two blond mothers that christine is always encountering at school...

ciara said...

let me guess, you jacked her up thoroughly? lol oh, man...can't wait to see/hear what happens next

-Ann said...

I believe every last word. In fact, I can hear the junior high school orchestra, sawing away, hitting one note of every four.

the mother of this lot said...

Oh, I'd believe it. I'd write the book. In fact, maybe we should co-write the book!

PixelPi said...

I can't wait to hear you say you did grab up the three pink doughnuts with the hearts, said something about your shoe, looked down, stumbled, and accidentally smooshed her in the face (or anywhere else) with the cupcakes. Cackle, cackle.

Come on. What's the ending?

Akelamalu said...

I can see the mother from hell with her face smashed into a cake! :)

Diana said...

I don't know if it's believable or not, but it's got to be the fantasy of more than a few, and that's what keeps you turning the pages!

I'd read it and love it! Why don't you sit and start it and see if the ending sort of comes naturally. It'll take a while to get there.

GO FOR IT!

Lisa said...

Was there a punch bowl involved? I need to know! ;o)

Potty Mummy said...

Oh, I believe it all right. At what point in your life did you live in suburban London?

Eileen said...

I don't know, but I do know this for sure 1. You should write a book. Your writing says book, book, book all over it. 2. I would have eaten at least one of the cupcakes, cause it seemed liked it was deserved. 3. Sending lots and lots of hugs.

XOXOXO

Mya said...

Did you slam her head into the hardwood floor? Like you wanted to last December? I really hope so.
I can't abide that dreary song either - such a dirge. No wonder they jumped into the sea.

Mya x

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

And so the mother from hell stands up to sashy past you and show off her brand new designer outfit that was clearly so expensive it should have been immoral to wear it in public. It was typical of her, enjoying being the centre of attention and displaying to all and sundry just how vulgar she truly was. How could someone pay such a pornographic amount of money for her outfits when only a few blocks away, poverty was rife and just a fraction of the cost of her outfit would have fed a family of four for a month and still have change for some much needed medication for little lolita's chet infections? You start to turn your head, deciding that you've had enough of her attention seeking floorshow and look to ignore her because you know being ignored is what she hates most. But wait, something white catches your eye and stops you making that head turn. As you crane your neck around you see something long and papery trailing the floor from behind the preening and pouting mother from hell. @God, what is it', you ask yourself. 'What on earth can that be? Surely it can't be some odd Parisian fashion statement that the rest of us plebs have yet to discover?', As she wiggles her unusually large rear past you, you gasp with surprise before stiffling what is quickly becoming nervous and gutt busting laughter. Well, you say to yourself. If wearing a long string of toilet paper out of the rear of your knickers is this years fashion 'must have' then I think I'll give it a miss love! You quickly exit from the room, forgetting your manners to take her aside and point out the addition to her attire. 'What the hell', you say to yourself. 'It's Valentines day. If I'm going to be miseable then at least I can have a laugh knowing old fan toot in there will be dragging a pile of bog roll around after her all day!

Crystal Jigsaw said...

It's got to be worth a try.

Crystal xx

ciara said...

ha ha love mob's addition lol

aims said...

As they say - write what you know...it's always the best!

Sweet Irene said...

Yes, totally, absolutely, can't wait for the book, you must write it. It will be a hit.

RC, I am serious about this. You know you are a good writer and you have humor, so please give it a shot. If anyone can, then you can.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ahhh, what did you do? Was it face in the cake like PixelPi says?
Celine Dion, shiver, that would have been bad enough without all the rest. Hugs (but with attitude).