Friday, April 4, 2008

baby got back

Thirty six hours.

My mom gets here in thirty six hours.

I'm a tough chick. I've been hanging strong, being mama cub to my babies and keeping heads above water as much as possible. On top of the ongoing angst, there's been more drama in our house this week. One of the pet rats (we're still not completely sure if it was Zack or Cody) died on Tuesday and set Surfer Dude off big time. He shrieked and railed and hurled chairs and crawled into the big rubbermaid dog food container, before yelling for everyone to go away and leave him alone. It didn't take a rocket scientist to see that this was about far more than the rat, and it was excruciating to witness. He laid down on the living room sofa and wept. Later, much later, when he curled up next to me to sleep, I matched him tear for tear.

That mama cub instinct is a pretty darn strong one. That urge to protect and comfort and coddle your baby doesn't seem to diminish, even when they get tall and smelly, or teenaged and mouthy...or grown up and reeling.

I'm a tough chick. I know that the Steel Magnolias gene runs deep through my soul, know that my strength will only grow by the day, know that I can keep it absolutely together. I know that I can turn into a lean, mean maternal machine on a dime.

But in thirty six hours I can revert into that little cub for a while and let someone else snarl and protect the den. And I'm not too tough to admit that I can't wait.


Altaglow said...

The mama lion also can't wait!

Altaglow said...

The mama lion also acknowleges that her cub has become incredibly strong. Claws out! Love

Nervus Rex said...

The only time I feel *really* safe is when my momma lion is here.

Have some good days with yours, little cub.

And delight in those stinky, huggable boys!

the mother of this lot said...

At the risk of sounding like a mama lion, you think I don't have enough to worry about without reading this?

(Actually, that souned like a Jewish mama lion).

I think this is just what Surfer Dude needed. I also think it's just what you need. So when the real mama lion gets there, you be a good little cub who does as she's told and have a bloody good cry.

-Ann said...

That's a really lovely post. (Well, not that it's lovely those things happened, it's just that it's very well-expressed.)

Stacie said...

RC--I haven't been posting much, but I do read daily to keep up with you. Once again, you've managed to say things in just the right way, and it struch a chord in me. :-)

Your strength has been an inspiration. I hope you know that.

I am so glad your mom will be there soon to give you a great big hug and do that thing that mothers do so well. You deserve a little bit of being taken care of for awhile!

Hugs to you and yours.

Sweet Irene said...

I don't have a mother lion about anymore and my lion cub is far away. I am on my own and am sort of a grown up orphaned motherless lion. Sometimes I do well and sometimes I don't. I hate having to be so grown up all the time.

Maggie May said...

RC ........... Sorry to hear of your son's angst about the death of his pet.
I felt so much like saying, come over & take one of mine! There's me murdering the varmints & now you have made me feel so guilty, as they obviously have a little personality of their own, which I daren't even think about!
Thankfully, he has a really great Mum & I'm sure you will help him get over all his hurts.

Mya said...

Not long to go now. It's tough being an adult sometimes - when your Mum arrives you can regress for a while. It'll do you all good.
Your Mum is the best person to have with you right now - you know it, and she does too.

Mya x

Jo Beaufoix said...

You so deserve a big cuddle with your mum and to weep and rail and do everything your lovely boys have done sweetie. You're doing great. Hugs.

Flowerpot said...

glad your mum is coming soon. Hope you have agood time together.

Frances said...

Glad to hear you will have your mama with you soon and get a chance to be mummied.
Poor kid. Life is tough in the teens anyhow - glad he can let some of it out that way - even if it took a rat to do it.

Akelamalu said...

No matter how tough we are we all need a mother's love! Take comfort in your when she arrives. xx

softinthehead said...

Beautifully put RC, it's tough on you trying to be the grown up, and also tough on your son being at that age when they are not supposed to cry and want to cuddle their mum. A precious moment for you. Enjoy your mum's visit.

girl with the mask said...

Awwww, that is lovely! Have fun together!

G.I.M x

laurie said...

hurry up, mom!

and how lovely to have a mom like that.

when i'm going thru stress, the last person i want around is my mother.

Potty Mummy said...

Those of us lucky enough to have mums we can turn to probably take them for granted. I know I do... (am just off to call mine now).

CrazyCath said...

Oh RC I can so relate to that!
Like every mother here I think - I am a tiger for my children and I protect, fight, feed, coddle.

But sometimes I just need my mum. Enjoy her visit. Recharge your batteries.

Marti said...


I am so glad your momma is coming to visit you. This will definatley give you a chance to recharge. Nothing is better than comforting arms around you.

Sorry to hear about the pet. I agree that this is SD's way of dealing with everything else. Having your mom around to help you will be great.

I admire you so much for how you handle things and take life by the horns (Tx reference). Hugs to you and the boys.

Rudee said...

While I think you're a fierce mama lion, it doesn't hurt to abdicate this role to someone else-even if it's just for a short while. I can't imagine the stress of it all. There are always meltdowns when raising girls. I think it's so much harder to witness in a son.

Hang in there. I'm sure mom will make it better.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Did I mention that the mama lion is also bringing a Trader Joe's care package? Does it get any better?

Yes it does. 27 hours now. But who's counting?

And have I said recently that you all play a major role in getting me through the day????

Now (if you can) go call your mothers!!

altaglow - did I mention 27 hours?

nervus rex - I'm glad I'm not the only one.

jackie - don't you have enough to worry about in your own house?

ann - thanks.

Stacie - I've been thinking of you constantly. Sending hugs and love your way.

irene - lately it's felt like a lot further away than 1600 miles.

Maggie May - the irony is that I'm trapping mice in the laundry room and having burial services for the rat in the backyard. I don't know why it makes such a difference when you put them in a cage and feed them.

Mya - I think we both know it. I think that's why we're both looking forward to it so much.

Jo - those are all things on my to do list!

flowerpot - me, too.

frances - he seems to feel a lot better since. I'm hoping he got a lot of stuff out.

akelamalu - ain't that the truth,sister?

softinthehead - once he would finally let me comfort him, it was great. I think that's what tore me up so much, was how badly he needed that.

girl with the mask - have I said welcome to you yet? Well...welcome!

laurie - I know. I'm really lucky.

potty mummy - well? have you called her??

crazycath - I didn't realize how much I needed my mom until I became a mom. Weird.

Marti -I've been thinking about you, too. Rock chalk, baby!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

rudee - I am so ready to abdicate, if only for a couple of weeks.

And to go back to your comment from yesterday, you can be my Detroit ambassador any old time. It's so funny that you mention Dearborn. My (Alabama) grandparents lived in Dearborn the whole time I was growing up. And my dad (and my middle eastern relatives) lived about half an hour away. So I never realized that Dearborn had that influence. To me it always meant southern grandparents, not arabic father.

And you can have a copy of my cookbook if I can have a copy of yours! :)

Iota said...

Good for you.

Happy in the Abyss said...

I know you! I know that woman you speak of. She is incredibly brave and tolerant and strong...but let yourself be whatever you need to be when she gets there. Curl up into a ball on her lap and cry. Feel safe and warm and open up a big ass box o' wine and relax. You deserve it.

I guess part of me thinks that I should be standing beside the Film Geek because I was his family first. BUT...and there is a big old but....I am also a woman. Something he may not realize since I believe that he sees me as a 10 year old girl. But I am. And I understand more than I can show or write what is going through you. I love you much... more and more each day. Much love to the boys!
RIP Anonymous Dead Rat!

aims said...

I've tried to write a comment 4 different ways and erased them all.

I have yearned to have my mother again (believe it or not)continually since she has died.

All I can say RC - is cherish her. It is very lonely without them - no matter all the ups and downs.

Kaycie said...

I don't know if it helps to hear this, but the sooner the boys can break down like that and grieve a bit, the sooner they'll begin to heal. You, too, RC.

I'm like Laurie -- if I'm in distress, keep my mother far away from me. I hope I'll be like your mother is for you when my daughter is grown.

Hang in there, babe. Your mama's on her way!

Swearing Mother said...

Glad you mom's on the way. She's just what you need right now.

It's true what everyone says, when times are tough we all need our Mums.

Enjoy having her with you.


Eileen said...

I am so glad to hear your mom is coming to be with you and the boys. I think no matter how old you get, you need your mom, especially when times get rough. When my mom was alive, even thou we had a very rough relationship, when I was stressed, she was the first person I would call. You are strong, but you need some TLC, and Traders Joe makes life better on so many levels.

So sorry about the rat, but it sound like it got out a lot of much needed grief. Glad you could be there for each other.

Enjoy your time together. Do nothing but wonderful things.
Love you.

JaniceNW said...

Moms are the best and I'm happy yours is coming.

Willowtree said...

Well, I read the post and some of the comments...we're talking about your mom right, and not a trip to the zoo?

ciara said...

having your mom there will be really good for you. you've already proved that you're a strong lady, but now it's time to just let it go for a bit. xo

laurie said...

i love your mom's advice: claws out!


ExpatKat said...

Have a good rest RC. Enjoy handing the reins over and re-charge your batteries.

Kaytabug said...

What a sweet moving post.
I am so glad your Momma is coming.
Hugs to you.

Jettied said...

ow sweet. iam glad you have that momma lion who will match you tear for tear to. I don't have that never will. But my kids will and that keeps me smiling. I hope you have a very enjoyable time!! I think of you and send my love and hugs!!

Wisewebwoman said...

Not a day goes by when I don't think of my Mum who died so young.
Enjoy yours, RC, let her take charge. Get some serious bitchin' and cryin' done!