Wednesday, April 16, 2008

bowling for barack

We took the kids bowling at the lake, which is something we've promised them for quite a while, but never done. It was a small, but perfectly okay bowling alley, although it was (oddly) only open for a three hour window on a late Sunday afternoon. This area is Touristy with a capital T, and we're still a month and a half away from "the season", so I guess we should be grateful it was open at all.


There were a few other groups in there, whiling away rainy Sunday hours, but from the moment we walked in we stuck out like sore thumbs. First there's my mom, who carries her flower child aura with her to this day, accentuated by the constantly changing array of bold ethnic jewelry. Then there's Sasquatch with his halfway down his back mane of curly brown locks. My face was still in weird post-roadkill blotch, so I was drawing some attention of the unwanted sort. Surfer Dude and Gumby, being fairly typical ten and twelve year old boys (at least until they talk), were our saving grace. We all collected our shoes and our cokes and headed for our lane.


Now I feel qualified to say this next thing, based on the amount of time I spent in Alabama growing up, and I don't mean it badly. Really. But I always think of the lake, as much as I love it, as "Hold my beer and watch this" territory. The kind of place Jeff Foxworthy might go to research his new stand-up routine. A place where you still see Confederate flags hanging on porches. A place populated by locals who...were not like us. And certainly did not want to be.


We were doing fine until Sasquatch brought up the Barack Obama story from a couple of weeks ago where he went bowling on the campaign trail and bowled a 37. Thats 3-7. Not a real shining moment in the public eye. As Jimmy Kimmel says "I bowled a 37 when I was a baby. And I was drunk, by the way."


This came up because Gumby was having an off day. A really off day. By the fifth frame he was barely sitting at 30. The other three of us bowling (my mom played cheerleader) were doing much better. Sasquatch, trying in his own way to be encouraging (and deflect everyone's attention from the fact that I was kicking his butt), said "Cheer up, G. You only need 8 more points to beat Obama." Well, that was a challenge that Gumby felt he could take on, and when (in the seventh frame!) he hit 38 his brothers danced around him chanting "You beat Obama, you beat Obama..."


And as the rest of the bowlers pushed back their hats and put their beer down to take a gander in our direction, we figured it was high time to mosey on out of there.

20 comments:

ped crossing said...

That is hilarious! I am not a great bowler, but I at least break 70. We take the boys bowling. I think they cringe when they see us coming. SweetP has a habit of throwing it up to far and it comes down with a splat. We bowl with bumpers now, it has helped my score a lot.

I still prefer wii bowling to the real thing. I do much, much better.

Amy said...

Did anyone toss the ball backwards? Did your noses wrinkle when you put your clown shoes on?

I love bowling. As a kid, I bowled on Saturday mornings and watched the PBA on TV on Saturday afternoons. I dreamed of being a pro. One of my favorite movies is Kingpin.

I would have loved to watch you all.

my two cents said...

At least he didn't dance around singing you beat McCain, or Obama beat McCain.

Nearlydawn said...

Ha! Too Funny!

I didn't know you were a Southern Girl! Well, I'll be. :)

IF you are ever down Georgia-way you'll have to look me up!

I sure hope your time at the lake was as wonderful and relaxing as you wanted/needed. Too bad you had to come back to reality... I guess it had to happen sometime though, huh?

Flowerpot said...

glad you're back RC. I hate to say it but I've ever been bowling. I must get organised..

Dumdad said...

We go bowling occasionally. Bowling alleys are strange places and get stranger as night falls....

Flutterby said...

When my MIL was 80+, she and I went bowling several years ago. She beat me soundly with a score over 100. I haven't been back to an alley since then.

Jen said...

I have not been in a bowling alley in years! But I think I may have been in a bowling alley much like you describe *grin* Most of the ones down here in Savannah are pretty big, tho'.

Kaytabug said...

What a great and funny story!!!
My imagination and your descriptive words gave me a great visual of the others in the bowling alley!

Jo Beaufoix said...

Hee hee, that was cool. And I am the worst bowler. Gumby could definitely beat me.

Diana said...

No way! My record high for bowling is a 67!

I beat Obama, too!

Thalia's Child said...

That is entirely awesome. I'm completely impressed that your kids are up on current events enough to know the Obama sucks at bowling.

Shame about the audience though *snicker*

Lil Mouse said...

snicker. i love to bowl but my arms are weak weak and the balls are always too big. did i say that out loud? i have fat fingers and can never find like an 8 lb ball, which is really more what i need per my scarecrow arms. i bowled fairly well with a 10 lb ball the last time we went, but still had sore arms for 2 days. we hadn't been in, oh. years. but it was a good afternoon anyway!

Maggie May said...

I've never been bowling in my fairly long life! Its good to see you back!

Rudee said...

Ya could have just done like Hillary and had a shot with a beer chaser. At this point, you'd have been just like family to the rest of the folks in the bowling alley. I didn't know the bowling/barack story. Almost as bad as Dukakis in the tank photo.

Sandy said...

Yep, bowling only looks easy till you do it! It is fun, though, and good on your kids (and you) for knowing about obama.

the planet of janet said...

hilarious. i would have loved to watch that....

btw, i don't bowl unless i can use the gutter bumpers. otherwise, obama would have beaten me ;-)

Corey~living and loving said...

tee hee.....thanks for the giggle.
welcome back. missed you!

CrazyCath said...

If Obama only got 37 I feel positively good! I use the bumpers and bounce the ball off them - works a treat for me.

But on the Wii I can get a strike!

PixelPi said...

My lifetime high score is 36. I have bowled once in my life. Wish I'd been there, even though I wouldn't be in the "I beat Obama" crowd.