Friday, January 30, 2009

the 32 hour day


There's the two letters in my gmail account - one from a long-time reader and one from someone brand new to this blog. Both of them wonderful, personal, touching messages. Both written unprompted by someone who wanted to do something nice. Both of which I want to sit down and write something equally wonderful in return to.


Unanswered.


One of my best friends finally tracked me down on the phone today after we'd been missing each other for days. Then there's the friend I saw at school pick-up today, but didn't have time to stay and chat. Another friend and I have started communicating mostly on Facebook, since it's so easy. The major reason I joined was to make it easier to stay in touch with people - far and near - since we all know how I am with that.



Ah, yes. Facebook. There's the message that was sent to me in reply to a question of mine, from a regular reader of this blog. A fascinating, thought-provoking letter that really deserves some reply from me.


Unanswered.


The phone call to my mother that never got made. The reply to an email from my step-father that I just got, even though he sent it days ago. It went to my spam, but he doesn't know that. I'm sure he's wondering what the hell is going on. Hopefully, my mother will read this and tell him.


There have been some bright spots. I just got off the phone from a really nice catch-up session with someone very dear to me that I've reconnected with. A long phone call over the weekend with one of my bestest friends in California. (Of course, she sent me an email not long after the phone call and I still haven't responded to that).


I just can't seem to keep up. Why is this so hard for me? I had the entire day today to do what I wanted to do and I still feel like I didn't get anything done. I did, though. I went to the gym and three grocery stores (shopping the sales). Baked six pans of cinnamon rolls. Did three loads of laundry. Helped Surfer Dude with his science fair project. Worked out kid scheduling with the FX. Did all the things I normally do before a long work run. While the kids were in school, I laid down to shut my eyes for ten minutes and woke up two hours later. Bam. The day is gone. And all my good intentions are gone with it.


I need some good techniques to stay in touch better. Any ideas?

12 comments:

Devon said...

Damn RC, you are being way too hard on yourself. You have communicated with more people in the past week than some do all month!

It doesn't have to be Emily Post perfect. Even if they are just reading your blog or hear your voice on their answering machine... it is enough to know that you are thinking of them.

Remember your new years resolution? Don't worry, be happy :)...

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

You can only set aside a certain amount of time to return emails and phone calls and do nothing else during that time. See it as one of your chores that needs to get done and write it on your list of things to do. Make it a priority. Right now it sounds like they are not important enough, when they should be. Don't neglect your friends and family, RC. Keeping the communication going is important.

Rudee said...

What will you write about, if you can't write about being a rotten correspondent? It's not like we weren't warned. Ha. Dahling, don't change a thing about yourself. You're admired as is.

Maggie May said...

Well you hardly wasted your day with all the things you DID do! Maybe you don't like answering letters/email etc.
Make a list of things to be done each day and make sure ONE thing that is on there (not essential chores) gets ticked off. You will b surprised how it will all shift in a week or so.

laurie said...

you have your wonderful loyal blog buddies to praise you; me, i give advice.

i answer emails right away, because if i don't they get lost behind the newer emails that come in.

so if i have time to read them, i have time to answer them, even if the answer is just "thanks for this, i'll get back to you when i'm less busy!"

and if it's a work email (of which i get a hundred or so, every day) i let people know if they don't hear from me in a day or two, feel free to write again. i'm not blowing them off, just busy.

my two cents said...

The blog is a good way to stay in touch, which is what it started out to be. Trouble is it has taken on a life ot its own and now you've got more friends to keep up with, which is a good thing. I have wanted to comment on blogs this week, but haven't had time, or the computer has frozen half-way through a message.

You get a LOT done in a day. E-mails answered late are better than not answered at all and you know we all still love you.

Good luck with working - I hope your shift during the Super Bowl ends just before the game does!

Daryl said...

Sounds a lot like someone overwhelmed ... just sayin' its a place I was when I wasnt dealing with loss. Not saying you are in the same place I was but it sure looks familiar ...

Here's the upside .. all those people who care will still care even if you arent keeping up your end all the time in a timely way .. of course that prompts asking 'whose time' .. yours .. and therefore set the pace and dont let anyone tell you otherwise, unless of course its me .. ;-D

Wisewebwoman said...

Those that matter don't mind.
Those that mind don't matter.
Just sayin'.
XO
WWW

aims said...

I'm with Devon - you're too hard on yourself.

And your name says it all - Rotten Correspondent! You don't want to ruin your reputation now do you?

You've just finished posting about how happy you are with your new life. Remember that. And be you.

We communicate by choice. Not because we have to. The ringing phone does not have to be answered. There's no law about that. Same with emails - they don't have to be answered.

I have said before - I don't expect you to even reply to any comment I make here.

So - don't sweat the small stuff.

This post in itself was good enough btw....

ped crossing said...

That was quite an impressive list of stuff that you got done. Pat yourself on the back. There are always more things to do.

Plus, a nap is never time wasted. It is good for the body and soul and I miss them. A lot.

Stacie said...

You mean that not everyone lives like this? I sure do! :-)

I am sure that people understand. So what if an email takes a few days to return? If it was THAT important, they would have called, right? You can only do so much in a day--and yes, down time is a part of that. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much.

Much love,
Stacie

-Ann said...

Well, you do call yourself the Rotten Correspondent - there's truth in the advertising. :)

I wouldn't get too worked up about it. You get to things when you get to things and the people who know you will understand. It's not like you're sitting around painting your toenails and eating bon-bons all day, after all.