Monday, June 15, 2009

fighting fires


Picture this.

An elderly - and quite demented - gentleman, who evidently had retreated back into his boyhood fantasy of being a fireman. A nurse - sweet, kind, and wholly unsuspecting - who walked into his room to give him a warm blanket. Out of the goodness of her heart, I might add. Whereupon he whipped out his "fire hose" and doused her - but good - as she dodged, ducked, dipped, dived and dodged, trying (futilely) to escape the seemingly bottomless water tank.


Her mantra - as she skidded out of the room - sounded just a little demented itself. "It's the only sterile bodily fluid, it's the only sterile bodily fluid, it's the only sterile bodily fluid..."


Gee. And I thought I was only a shit magnet.

18 comments:

LFG said...

You got to be kidding me. How do these things happen to you ? Are you the shield for the rest of your coworkers, or do they get the same loving treatment ? I hope you jammed a catheter up him with no lube.

ped crossing said...

Have you considered requesting a hazmat suit as your uniform? Complete with mask. Then no one would want to get near you for fear of contamination of some sort. It might be worth a try at this point.

Maggie May said...

Sorry, I can't stop laughing......... I think he needed a catheter! He he.

Thumbelina said...

ROTFL..

Only you. It could only happen to you.
Or me. ;0)

Frances said...

Well - at least it was something you could share with your virtual admirers... unlike your HAPPINESS of last week. :-(

So let's get this straight - if it's pee or poo, you'll happily spread it around.
LOL ;-)

Aoj and The Hounds said...

*snorts with laughter*

Flutterby said...

Wouldn't the phrase "hit the deck" be appropriate here? Oh my.

Faye said...

My friend was a night nurse and we loved the stories of elderly patients that were angels during the day and then turned into Granny Terrors during the night. Hospitals need to filter out the full moons--and drain the fire hoses apparently!.

Amy said...

He thought you were so hot you needed his hose. See? Things really are looking up for you. Unless he had hepatitis.

The Gossamer Woman said...

I hope he didn't hit you anywhere near your face, that would have been disgusting and you would have had my permission to douse him with a bucket of water.

Akelamalu said...

Dirty old sod! Did you get your own back?

aims said...

You know - I saw a magazine once that had something like that in it......... ;0)

LFG said...

aims is naaaaaasty. :)))))

Tians.sis said...

Don't feel bad sweetie....we are definitly related. Yesterday I walked in the restroom at wal-mart and got vomited on(this is true,so help me).So I guess the fluid gods were after us yesterday.

Southern Drawl said...

So sorry, you poor thing...I'm not laughing, really.. :D

Devon said...

You must have stolen a lot of candy from children in some past life!

Pamela said...

I'd have twisted that hydrant right tight.

Tiggerlane said...

LOL!! OMG...since when did you start working in the nursing home? LOL!

I always thought these types of ER stories were the best...sadly, hubby doesn't work there anymore, making for NO blog fodder.