Thursday, July 5, 2007

The Thursday Three

Today let's talk about...

"Sexy" Men I Just Don't Get

I know we all have different tastes in the opposite sex. Or the same sex - to each his or her own. And surely this is a good thing, because otherwise we'd all be duking it out over the same few people. This would inevitably lead to a lot of us being stuck with nothing but cheap paperback romance novels and bad country songs to keep us warm at night. But there are some famous "sexy" men I just don't, for the life of me, get. To be perfectly fair, there a quite a few "sexy" women I'm a little puzzled about too. I almost hate admitting a couple of these, because I think something may be just a little wrong with me. Or maybe even a lot. And I apologize for jumping on the whole celebrity bandwagon, but at least these are people we can all recognize. If I said I didn't find the guy at the Post Office sexy we wouldn't have much to debate, would we?

#1. Tom Cruise. Pre-Open mouth insert foot stage. Pre-Katie Holmes. Pre-radical Scientologist. (Not sure when that was). I just do not understand what it is that makes so many people ga-ga over Tom Cruise. I was fresh out of college and working at Paramount during the Top Gun days when it seemed like he could do no wrong. The day that his production company was moving into their new offices on the lot every female (and quite a few males) felt it necessary to camp out for a glimpse of the man himself. And these were jaded Hollywood types. I passed on that circus, but did see him at other times on the lot. He's short.

Really, the fact that he does nothing for me is particularly odd because he sort of has the Black Irish coloring I've always found irresistable. Dark hair, pale skin, blue eyes. And even that doesn't work for him. (Are his eyes even blue? Maybe hazel, now that I check). But still.

#2. Justin Timberlake. Not even sure where to start here. Just. Don't. Get. It. Maybe it's the age thing, because I know a lot of younger girls who think he's the It Man of the moment. But I don't think so. I can think of plenty of other guys his age who do a lot more for me. Mrs. Robinson just can't think of them right now.

I do like the way he, uh, dances. But I'm opposed to anyone who has ever seen Britney Spears naked on general principle.

Okay, I'm saving this one for last, because even I know there's something wrong with me.

#3. Brad Pitt. Oh Jesus save me, for I have sinned. I do not find Brad Pitt sexy in the least. I think he's cute enough, I mean he doesn't gross me out or anything. I just don't have that weak-kneed thing going. This little glitch makes me feel seriously out of step with the rest of human kind.

I think part of my problem with Brad Pitt is that the "pretty boy" isn't a type I normally gravitate toward. And also that virtually any film he's in has at least one person who out-sexies him in my book. George Clooney. Vince Vaughn. Angelina Jolie.

I wonder if there's anything I can take for this?

All right people, lets have your lists. Someone please make me not be the freak here.


Jen said...

Okay, you're not a freak, really.

#1 Tom Cruise, I can't stand him. He always sounds like he's whining.

#2 Matthew McConnaughey. I guess if you like nude bongo playing, pot smoking lay abouts, this guy might be for you. Not so much for me.

#3 I was also going to choose Brad Pitt, but I've already mirrored RC once. So, how about Vince Vaughn? He looks like an ex-boyfriend of mine, and he irritates me. Sorry for all of you who like him, but he's too slobby for me.

Those are my three, flame away!

Mya said...

I am so with you on Tom Cruise.Anyone who has to stand on a box to kiss me doesn't get my knees weakening! Clint Eastwood's appeal has always mystified me - I'm afraid he just irritates. Justin Timberlake, I can take or leave. Robert Redford has always left me cold, but I'm very partial to Paul Newman and Steve McQueen in their heyday. Russell Crowe annoys the **** out of me - I'd rather be having my toenails pliared than watching him. Ditto Hugh Grant (he does a disservice to Englishmen - they're not all blithering idiots like him, you know! Well...some of them aren't.)Arnold Swarzenegger? I don't think anybody in their right mind would find him attractive - so RC, you should be feeling positive at least that he's not on your list of must-haves!

On the other side. The new James Bond, Daniel Craig looks mighty fine in a swimsuit - I'd certainly agree to hold his towel. George Clooney I adore. Paul Newman in his heyday - delicious. Brad Pitt, have to say, I'm a fan. A couple of other English guys you may know of Clive Griffin and Daniel somebody (was in HBO series Band of Brothers) - my God, I'm beginning to sound like a freak too. I think I'd better sign off, take a cold shower. Tee heee. Good post topic. Oh, I nearly forgot, all that oestrogen kicking off addling my brain - you're tagged! Chez moi for details.

Mya x

Mya said...

I feel silly now - I failed to realise I was restricted to just three! Oops.

Mya x

The Rotten Correspondent said...

thanks you two. I feel a lot better now. Phew! Thanks for playing.

Jen - totally agree with #2. And when he said he tries to never shower? Ewwww...

Mya - you can name as many as you like. I just make myself stop at three because I'd never leave the computer if I didn't. Totally agree about Russell Crowe and the Gubernator. My huge loathe however is Sylvestor Stallone. Makes my fingers hurt just typing his name.

But we part ways on Hugh Grant. Sadly for me he pulls all the triggers. But I clearly have a thing for Brits. Clive Owen, Colin Firth, I even have a soft spot for Alan Rickman. Now I need a shower.

Akelamalu said...

I agree I don't 'get' any of those. However I do 'get'

Mel Gibson
Johnny Depp
Kevin Costner
Sean Connery
Matt Damon
Steve McQueen
Keanu Reeves
Denzel Washington
Will Smith
and wait for it

Gene Hackman! I know, I know but he just does something for me!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Oh, and I'll check on that tag!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

akelamalu -
Johnny Depp, Sean Connery and Matt Damon...Grrr.

And Gene Hackman? It's those quirky things that make it so much fun. I, for example, think Bill Murray is sexy as hell.

Go figure.

Jen said...

Oh, I totally agree about Bill Murray. I've loved him since I was a teenager, and all my friends thought I was nuts. Other guys I've always liked: Liam Neeson, Sean Connery, Alan Rickman, Hugh Laurie (even when he plays a twit) and a guy named David Hewlett. Bruce Campbell, too. But unless you like sci-fi, you won't have heard of the last two.

Poetess said...


Just found your blog. Think your latest discussion is great too. I have got to come to Tom Cruise's defence. Well I mean just look at his mouth I would get up close and personal with him. Though his present whackiness maybe not. Robert Redford is just bliss and George Clooney, Colin Firth and Hugh Grant. And just to proove every girl likes a bad guy, Simon Cowell. After that little platter of delights I could go on a diet.


Happy in the Abyss said...


Mya said...

Clive Owen! That's who I meant. Clive Griffin is a singer. Duh. The other English actor I was banging on about was Damian Lewis in Band of Brothers.

You seem to have touched a nerve here!

Relax about the tag - Jen says she tagged you too, you're very popular!

Mya x

Jo Beaufoix said...

You're definitely not a freak RC.

Tom Cruise I have just never got.
I don't know why, but he has always looked to me like he has bad breath. I can't explain this, and I'm sure his mouth is as sweet as juniper berries covered in chocolate and served with ice cream.

Did anyone see him in 'Outsiders'.

He looked kind of geeky in that while Patrick Swayze and Matt Dillon smouldered.

I also do not get:
Justin Timberlake - he looks like a little boy.

Brad Pitt - too pretty.

Tobey Maguire - spiderman odd boy.

Leonardo DiCaprio - His hair is too wide.

Matt Damon - He's too like Leonardo DiCaprio.

Colin Farrel - Muppet.

However I quite fancy:

Daniel Craig - Tres beau

Colin Firth - yum

Liam Neeson - just very sexy and rugged, not sure why.

I agree with Mya on Damian Lewis - wasn't he in bleak house too?

Joaquin Phoenix - Loved him in Walk the Line

Mickey Rourke - before the scary surgery.

Paul Bettany - cute, quirky and funny.

And Johhny Depp especially as Jack Sparrow.

Ok, I'll stop now, or I'll go on forever.

Great Post RC.

Anonymous said...

Great topic, RC ...

I totally agree with you about Tom Cruise and Justin Timberlake. Yuk yuk yuk. Brad is alright but losing his looks with age, I think.

My current faves are: Gael Garcia Bernal (he of the Motorcyle Diaries fame) ... although he's shorter and younger than me; James McAvoy (Last King of Scotland) and Jonny Lee Miller -- phworr! (who it turns out use to be married to none other than Anglina Jolie)