Friday, November 30, 2007

Diet, Fry-It - same difference

























Well.


So here we are two months after my public declaration that I was tired of looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man and would be immediately embarking on both a diet and an exercise program.

Well.

So on Tuesday, feeling like the Marshmallow Man's gluttonous sister, I gathered up my courage and stepped on the scale. I knew it wasn't going to be good news, since lately I've been eating anything that isn't nailed down. And did I mention that it had been almost a month since I'd been to the gym? On to the scale, drum roll please...

I've gained eight pounds.

On a diet. I've gained eight pounds on a diet.

I don't think it's working.

So here I stand, once again making a public proclamation that this is it. It's time to get serious. The way I'm going I'll be the size of a small European country by Easter. When I saw pictures taken in California I wasn't thrilled. When I couldn't put on my fat pants I wasn't thrilled. But when my scrubs got tight I knew I had to do something. Tight scrubs? How does that work? It's like your bathrobe getting too small. That's a real problem.

I'll be posting my progress on Babes 'R' Us for anyone who needs a good laugh.

Meanwhile, I think the Weight Watchers franchise is safe from my diet plan.

24 comments:

Susan said...

Oh, I am really sorry. If it makes you feel any better, I feel like I've gained a bit since you were here and I was so good at Thanksgiving, but I woke up the Monday after and felt and looked fat. Good luck!

the rotten correspondent said...

Have you LOOKED at the pictures we took?? I look like I've overshot my due date by a week.

Beth said...

Don't feel too bad. I gained 1 pound from Monday to Wednesday, and I am the heaviest I've ever been in my life. I think Babes'R'Us is my next venture.

I have cellulite. I have flab under my upper arms. I have a wrinkle in my neck from FAT. My scrubs (which are not work stuff but PJs) don't fit any more. These things have never happened to me.

This is it. It's time for the Fat War to begin. Where do I sign up?

Kim said...

Oh, poor baby. I know how you feel. I'm so far off the wagon, I haven't been to 'babes r us' for a month. Or more, maybe. I think it's the time of year. It's very hard to diet with Halloween candy, turkey, stuffing, and pie in the house. Soon people will start sending holidy baked goods. I think it's a vast conspiracy!

Pam said...

i know your pain...i haven't been motivated in the least. but i did lose some weight. exercise might help to lose more lol

did you know the avg american will gain SEVEN pounds between thanksgiving and new year's?

Susan said...

Yes I went and saw them again. Honestly, I think you look fine. I always look heavier in pictures (or worse, maybe I don't!) - one of my husband's biggest challenges is getting a picture of me for the Christmas card where I don't look awful.

I've seen you a week from your due date and you don't look anything like that at present! I am still contemplating sending you a box of See's for Christmas, but I won't if you don't want me to, I can always send something else.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

http://fightthefluffy.wordpress.com/

That's all I'm sayin'.

willowtree said...

If it's a problem, I think men's sizes are a little bigger, so they won't feel so tight. Just saying.

Flowerpot said...

oh bloody weight - we either have too much of it or not enough. Like money. Dont' feel down about it please. Life is too short for that.

Anonymous said...

How can you even think about dieting during the holidays?????

laurie said...

this is why i love you.

i gain weight on diets, too!!

i have gained back three of the four pounds i lost on your babes r us diet, and with christmas cookie season coming right up, i plan to gain the last one soon.

i think willowtree's comment is useful. let's all just start wearing men's clothes! i'll start with doug's--he's 6'4" and 220 pounds, so it'll be several months before his clothes start getting tight on me.

Diana said...

Aaaaargh! The sucky part is that as most of us go through the years, it just gets harder and harder to lose and then keep off the weight.

What the hell's up with that?

Jen said...

Holidays have always been a tough time for me. I obviously can't empathize a whole lot with you now, because I'm supposed to be gaining weight. But it still makes me cringe when I step on the scale, and I keep plotting how I'm going to lose it all.

And Laurie, I had to give up wearing my husband's shirts a couple of weeks ago. They started getting too tight in the chest. :-( I guess I'll wait and see how y'all do, and then after I finish incubating, I'll use the best plan. *grin*

Potty Mummy said...

Appendicitus - I can recommend it if you want to lose a few pounds. Mind you, that was only after I got motivated when I climbed on the scales the day after I came out of hospital, having spent 4 days eating nothing, drinking very little, and having lost one of my (useless)organs. Guess what? I had gained 2 kilos (that's 5 pounds to you guys over the pond).

Well - won't bore you with the details as I think there may be a post in this one, but let's just say motivation came pretty quick after that....

I feel for you, RC. Go eat some ryvita...

the rotten correspondent said...

pixel pi - You sign up right here. Believe me, you have lots of company. Let the Fat War begin!

kaycie - it's a total conspiracy. I'm kind of relieved (in a not very nice way) that I'm not the only one who fell off the damn wagon. Broke both my legs in the fall, but it's time again. It's. Time. (for me at least)

ciara - how nice for me. I'm above average.

my two cents - ummm...See's....my mom is packing up Trader Joe's Pfefferneuse any old time now. I'll just have to start running 20 miles a day, that's all.

kimberly - will be checking out the fluffy. Count on it.

willowtree - I got your men's sizes right here, buddy.

flowerpot - You're right. I know you're right. But I'm miserable weighing this much. I'm not going for Kate Moss skinny - but is fitting in your scrubs too much to ask??

auntie barbie - that's a hell of a good question. I wish I had a good answer!

laurie - well, once again, I'm relieved that I'm not the only one. You were doing really well there, too. As far as WT's suggestion - the FG is five inches taller than me and outweighs me by a lot, but the day I wear his pants will be the day I...I'll think of something really dire.

diana - what the hell IS up with that? This crap didn't happen in my 20's. Weight and chin hair...hoo boy...ain't 40 (ish) grand?

jen - you can be the honorary cheerleader, okay? And then when you're ready to lose we'll all be so skinny that we'll help you out. Sounds good on paper anyway...

the rotten correspondent said...

potty mummy - I bought some American version of Ryvita just yesterday, as a matter of fact. Love the stuff.

If you want the stupid medical reason for your weight gain - it's the fluids. Both what you're given in the hospital and the fluids that your body creates in response to the surgery. Sucks, doesn't it.

And speaking of hospital...I'm off to work now. Let's see if I can run the equivalent of a half marathon today - and gain a pound.

laurie said...

ah, jen, you're cheating! you're pregnant! the rest of us are just .... jolly.

ped crossing said...

That is why I don't diet. If something is forbidden, I just want it more.

I have found that if I am not at home, I don't snack. Being back at work has helped tremendously.

That and I am still in a food funk and don't really care about eating. Fudge is an exception. So I might be in trouble.

I'm really no help. I hit my all time high right before school started.

Mono is a great diet. The side effects suck though. I lost 25 pounds because of it in high school.

Good luck!

laurie said...

fudge! oh you would have to mention fudge....

Anonymous said...

Gaining weight whilst on a diet! Sounds like me.

Crystal xx

Mya said...

Which small European country are you thinking of? You could choose from Luxembourg, Monaco or Andorra - or are they principalities? Maybe they don't count. How about Ireland? Get out your European atlas and a box of fudge and sit down and work it out.

Mya x

Swearing Mother said...

RC, I haven't even looked at BabesRus since I am getting as fat as butter even though I am living on dust. OK make that chocolate coated dust, but even so. Huh!

I've started walking everywhere again, the only problem being that I am so goddam hungry all the time. And now it's nearly Christmas at the office - that means only one thing, binge eating all day.

Where is my willpower. Gone, gone, gone.

Anonymous said...

At least you had the courage to step on the scale. I am too afraid! I have a doctor appointment on Monday, so I will have to work up the nerve and do it sometime this weekend. I can tell I gained a bit, my fat jeans are snug. I hate this battle. I have a major problem called not getting my ass on the treadmill. So silly, cause I have 2 sitting downstairs, and I would just need to do 30 mins. a day. That is it, and I know I would feel so much better, yet I can't seem to do it.

Jo Beaufoix said...

RC, I'm sure you are still a honey, but I know just how this feels. The first thing I'm going to say is take the pressure off hon. You will get there. Is now a good time to start though, what with Christmas etc? Why not say, 'I'm not on a diet,' and just try to listen to your body and drink lots of water? It should see you through to January when it's easier to get motivated. That's what I'm doing anyway. Hug.