The Family Message Blog

I've discovered that if you play your cards right you can make this whole blogging thing work pretty well for you. It can stop being a fun little pasttime that makes you sit on the computer for hours while your poor children plead ridiculous excuses like term papers, and actually start earning its keep as a hard-working family member. In short, it starts paying big dividends on itself.

Here's how it works. Take two people who are married (preferably to each other) and have them each start a blog. It helps if they're both posting about day to day events and thoughts/opinions/rants, but it isn't an absolute necessity. The important thing is that they are both interested in and willing to read the other person's blog. Then comes the huge payoff moment.

You never have to talk to each other again.

It's brilliant. It's cost effective. (Think of all the dry erase markers you don't have to buy). It's even environmentally friendly. (Think of all the carbon dioxide that talking releases into the atmosphere). In all modesty, it is simply without a flaw, and I'm making room on my mantle for my Nobel Peace Prize whenever it should arrive. There's not a married woman in the world who wouldn't nominate me. Probably not too many married men either for that matter. It works without a hitch, at least in my house.

Take Wednesday for example. I picked up a 3-11 shift at work and the Film Geek was home with the kids. At some point in the day he got work news that has the potential to change his whole summer schedule around, but since I wasn't here he couldn't tell me. (He might have been a little nervous as well, since it was also my schedule that was getting jerked around. But I digress). So he blogged about it. I woke up yesterday morning as he was on his way out to a meeting, but when I got on the computer I read his blog and now had the whole story. It works on my end too, since I tend to write a lot when I get home from work late at night and can't sleep for hours because I'm too wired. He'll read my blog to see how my day went, because lots of times I can write about it but can't talk about it. I never said I was normal. I want you all to remember that. The day I had the really bad headache I felt too rotten when I got home to even mention it, so I didn't. I blogged, because I was still wide awake, but went to bed early. The next morning I woke up to him hovering over me asking how my head felt. It's the computer equivalent of telepathy. He is out of nowhere quoting things I told him fifteen years ago and never heard another word about, but now that I've blogged about it, all of a sudden it takes on a new importance. We say what we want, get to finish entire sentences and don't have to worry about someone taking offense at our tone.

Seriously, how easy is that? It's the ultimate in lazy marital communication. We even argue with each other through the comments section. Our little Dirty Dancing drama was played out for the world on the internet, and we didn't even care. We played a lot nicer with an audience than we would've in private.

Laugh if you will, but I think I'm on to something here. Oh, and honey...I know you'll be reading this while I'm at work, so could you bring the trash cans in? And check the dog's food and water? I looove you...