Every now and then you throw something my way at work that makes me weep with gratitude at how my life has turned out. Today may have been the grand-daddy of those days, but my own personal relief is spattered with indescribable fury...and waves of nausea for the indescribable pain of those who seemingly have so much more to lose than I ever did.
Please take care of those who are incapable at the moment of protecting themselves or those they love. Please allow them to step outside of their anguish - if only for a moment - and take in all else the world has to offer. Please let them see a child's smile as a lifeline, a sunny day as a promise, a door closing as another one opening.
Thank you God, from the bottom of my heart, for this not being me, for never coming even remotely close. And please help me to erase the mental pictures that are dancing in my brain. Please. My heart is scorched by so much pain. I simply cannot bear it.
I've been holding it in all day. I think I'm finally ready to curl up in a ball and sob. Thanks for listening.