Monday, March 2, 2009

heads I win...tails I lose

If I'd have been home today, I would have written this all in the comments section of my last post. But since I wasn't, I won't. I'll just turn a comment response into a real live (albeit short) post. Don't expect a lot from me tonight. I'm just trying to get through one more day of work and then allow myself to fall over in a discombobulated heap.

Even with a couple of people changing their answers, it's pretty clear that the overwhelming vote was to Call The Man. Even I could see which way the wind was blowing. I don't want anyone to feel any pressure to give me the perfect answer. I'm a big girl, and in spite of my Majority Rules comment, I'm going to give a lot of weight to what my gut is telling me first and foremost. But some people brought up a few things that could be interesting to look into a little further.

Laurie asked for more information. Did I get vibes? Did he seem nice? And the answer is...I don't know. About the vibes anyway. He seemed to be a nice guy. I'm way past the point in my life where I see any attraction in anything other than nice. It's hard to tell about vibes because he was at work. Most people - especially when they're working with paying customers - tend to be nice. Now having said that, I certainly felt that we were both flirting - in a very understated way. That doesn't necessarily mean anything, since I'm a terrible flirt most of the time without even meaning to be. (Note to self: Work on that). She also mentioned that hot people aren't always too nice, which is absolutely true. But here's the thing. My own personal "type" isn't a type that the whole world finds hot. I like quirky, I have a weakness for geeks and I'm bored silly by classically good looking. Now having said that, no one would call this man a dog.

Did I answer the question? No? I didn't think so, either.

Then there was Devon. Make a list, she said. Excellent suggestion. So here's the one off the top of my head.


It could be fun.

I could really like him.


He might be a jerk.

It could be fun.

I could really like him.

He might not be at all interested.

What would my kids say?

It could ruin my whole image of myself as a spinster for the rest of my life.

I haven't been on a date since Madonna was a pup.

Well. That's a little lopsided, isn't it?

And then there's Frances. The problem here is that I agree totally with the core of what she's saying. He knows where I am. Hell, he had his hands all over my financial panties for an hour. He has two of my phone numbers and an email address. I fall back onto the work dilemma, though, since if it were me I wouldn't call someone I'd met on my job and ask them out. If they got offended or something, that could be problematic. On the other hand, he's handing out business cards for his own business on this job, which I find a little odd, if you want to know the truth.

There's another factor at play here, too. Maybe what I need the most right now is the fantasy. The possibilities. The opportunity to walk around with a goofy ass smile on my face just because I can't help it. Maybe the next time I see him I won't be moved at all. Maybe this is my safe way to work through some of this stuff as a kind of trial run. Maybe the fantasy really is better than the reality.

I can't see that calling him to give me an estimate on fixing something would make me look like I was chasing him. But there is the curiosity factor. Left to his own, would he make a move? Would he even want to?

It was funny, actually, how it worked out in the first place. The day I met him was a frantic day of too many things scheduled. I had gone to the gym to run and had kind of half planned to throw on a hoodie over my workout clothes and pull my hair back into a ponytail and go straight to do my taxes from the gym. But I talked myself out of it because I'm trying to not look like a schlub any more than I have to. So I came home, showered, put on decent clothes (including a new shirt that I adore), put on make-up AND perfume, and just generally tried to get myself into the best mood I could to tackle a daunting day. Not my usual routine, to be sure. Usually I'm a hoodie and ponytail kind of gal. Kind of an odd time to pull out the put together least in hindsight.

Oh, well. It's all just as clear as mud, isn't it? And not even short like I promised.

Maybe a good night of sleep will help.


Maggie May said...

Oh.... I'm first!
Well.....what are you going to do? There's not much to think about really!
IF you are like me......... you won't want to risk ruining you fantasy, by making a possible *not so nice* reality come true! Or are you not like me at all?

Frances said...

So - you put the brakes on. Sensible.
Doesn't mean you can't call him in a week or so if you want to, or if you need something doing around the house.
Enjoy the excitement. It isn't about him, because you don't know him. So enjoy it and look after yourself.

BTW - I still hope he calls you, because I am a girlie at heart.

laurie said...

he can't call you. because of the work-client thing. it would be WRONG and he would look like an inappropriate sleazeball if he did call you.

people cannot be hitting on their clients.

so if there's a first move to be made, it has to be by you.

Anonymous said...

Doing nothing for now, except in your mind, seems like a good option. Let it play itself out, on its own for a bit. I always say trust your gut.

Either way, I know you will be fine, fine, fine. That is who you are.

Retiredandcrazy said...

Can't your make an excuse to speak to him again in a work related way?

Kaycie said...

There has to be something in that big old Victorian of yours that he can estimate work on. That's safe. It's easy. And you can get a second read on him. After all, he did say he hoped you'd call. I'm betting the man has ulterior motives. If he doesn't, you still have the estimate.

And girl, if you need flirting lessons, call me. I am a master.

lv4921391 said...

Nothing ventured, nothing's time RC to "man-up" and ask him to lunch or dinner...

Pamela said...

I perused the post -- but I didn't see where you said he was "single'


Iota said...

I'm with Laurie and Kaycie. He can't call you, but he did leave you with a very good opening.

You can have him come to do an estimate on some job. You can use the occasion to have a second look. If you like what you see second time round, you can get into some conversation, and see if he hangs around to chat, or whether he's thinking this is just a fix-it job.

If you don't want it to go further, you can put the brakes on at that point. No harm done getting an estimate on something. You could even have him do the job, if you need a third look.

Are you beginning to feel like the Truman Show here? Or is it good to have a panel of emotional trustees to oversee this aspect of your life?

Rudee said...

Well, that's certainly safe.

peekay said...

How does "it could be fun" and "I could like him" end up in cons? You silly.