Saturday, March 28, 2009

you might be an ER nurse if...

This is an oldie but goodie that's been making the rounds for years. I certainly didn't write it, although I have posted it once...way back when.

It sure is perfect as I head into the brutal longest work stretch of my monthly schedule - and look longingly at my warm, snuggly bed. To make it even better, we're expected to get slammed with snow tonight and tomorrow, and to an ER nurse that just means a bunch of pinhead sledders running into trees. Add in the combination of March Madness and alcohol, and I feel a good time weekend coming on. Let the festivities begin.

You might be an ER nurse if -

Discussing dismemberment over a gourmet meal seems perfectly normal to you

You have the bladder capacity of five people and the flat feet of Fred Flintstone

You can identify the positive teeth to tattoo ratio

You believe in aerial spraying of Prozac

You disbelieve 90% of what you are told and 75% of what you see

You say “great veins” when looking at a total stranger

Your favorite hallucinogenic is exhaustion

You think caffeine should be available in IV form

You have ever restrained someone and it was not a sexual experience

Your idea of gambling is an alcohol level pool instead of a football pool

Your immune system is so well developed that it has been known to attack squirrels in the backyard

You’ve ever had a patient with a nose ring, a tongue ring and a pierced eyebrow tell you they were afraid of shots

And my personal favorite…

You might be an ER nurse if your shoes have ever been seized and quarantined by either the Centers for Disease Control, OSHA, the EPA or the Nuclear Regulatory Commission.


Devon said...

Too funny! Reminds me of my days on the ambulance... then of my nursing days in a burn unit. I used to leave all of my clothes and shoes in the locker at work... didn't want any of that lovely MRSA coming home with me!

Rudee said...

That about sums it up.

distracted by shiny objects said...

You own a TShirt that reads,"ER NURSE: I'm Here To Save Your Ass, Not Kiss It."

oops...did I just write that out loud??:>)

Pamela said...

I think I mentioned that my middle daughter finally left the ER last fall to work OB. Then she immediately got Pregnant.

I think she forgot to wash her hands.

Maggie May said...

I love it! Had a good chuckle.
Perhaps an aerial spraying of Prozac would help the country!
And I would love to have you stand under my kitchen roof is your immune system could cause the death of squirrels! I expect it would work on rats! Ha ha.

The Finely Tuned Woman said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry about that. What do you guys do? I suppose lots of black humor makes the rounds? It makes me wonder what your uniform looks like at the end of the day.

Rose said...

That's a good one! I should look for the teacher version. Mind if I shamelessly copy you?

Kaycie said...


I once had an employee who performed his own tattooing, wore an earring, and was a former Hell's Angel. He had survived a gunshot in his former life without benefit of medical attention. He was unbelievably tough. I loved this guy.

He was injured badly in a forklift accident and I took him to the ER. He needed a shot for stitches. Much to my surprise, this guy teared up and I held his hand to get him through. He could do his own tattoos, but a shot scared the living daylights out of him. Go figure.

Cath said...

Hey RC!
I might be an ER nurse after all! ;0)

Iota said...

Is there a list beginning "You know you're a blogger if..."