One of the things I promised myself when I started doing this blog was that I wasn't going to whine. Oh, I might complain a little or grumble a time or two, but I drew the line at whining. It's not a personality trait I do well with, so it made sense that I would try to avoid it myself. For the most part I think I've dodged it pretty well - maybe a closer shave from time to time, but in the end I've stayed a (relatively) low whine zone.
Until recently. I feel like all I do lately is whine. And bitch. And moan. I spiff it up a little and clean it up some, but when I send it down the runway it's still whining. It's just well dressed whining. And even though I hate it (because it simply isn't me), I'm still doing it. I'm afraid I'm becoming a downer - and who wants to read a downer day after day?
I'm really tired. When I walk in the door all the kids want my attention right away. The dogs put their tails between their legs every time they see my scrubs, doubtless imagining bladders full to bursting in their futures. I dance the computer dance every night - with so much competition for my time I feel guilty getting on-line. The wireless is still jacked up, which means I'm tethered to an ethernet cord. Some days it's a lot of trouble to blog. Some days it's a lot of trouble just to turn the computer on. But I've come to rely on this a lot - for moral support, for friendship, for places to check in on during the day. In so many ways this has become my social circle. I can't give it up. I don't want to.
But lately I'm also a terrible blog buddy. I don't get around as much as I used to. (Now there's a straight line for you). Even when I do read "my regulars" I don't always leave comments, which makes me feel rotten. I'm amazed that people still comment here, considering how I'm not holding up my bloggy end of the bargain. (I am well aware with how the game works. I just can't pull it off right now).
See? There I go. I'm whining again.
Hang in there with me, okay? I promise I'll get my mojo back. And I'll be a better blog buddy in the bargain.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Posted by the rotten correspondent at 12:02 AM