Friday, May 2, 2008

broken promises




















One of the things I promised myself when I started doing this blog was that I wasn't going to whine. Oh, I might complain a little or grumble a time or two, but I drew the line at whining. It's not a personality trait I do well with, so it made sense that I would try to avoid it myself. For the most part I think I've dodged it pretty well - maybe a closer shave from time to time, but in the end I've stayed a (relatively) low whine zone.


Until recently. I feel like all I do lately is whine. And bitch. And moan. I spiff it up a little and clean it up some, but when I send it down the runway it's still whining. It's just well dressed whining. And even though I hate it (because it simply isn't me), I'm still doing it. I'm afraid I'm becoming a downer - and who wants to read a downer day after day?


I'm really tired. When I walk in the door all the kids want my attention right away. The dogs put their tails between their legs every time they see my scrubs, doubtless imagining bladders full to bursting in their futures. I dance the computer dance every night - with so much competition for my time I feel guilty getting on-line. The wireless is still jacked up, which means I'm tethered to an ethernet cord. Some days it's a lot of trouble to blog. Some days it's a lot of trouble just to turn the computer on. But I've come to rely on this a lot - for moral support, for friendship, for places to check in on during the day. In so many ways this has become my social circle. I can't give it up. I don't want to.


But lately I'm also a terrible blog buddy. I don't get around as much as I used to. (Now there's a straight line for you). Even when I do read "my regulars" I don't always leave comments, which makes me feel rotten. I'm amazed that people still comment here, considering how I'm not holding up my bloggy end of the bargain. (I am well aware with how the game works. I just can't pull it off right now).


See? There I go. I'm whining again.


Hang in there with me, okay? I promise I'll get my mojo back. And I'll be a better blog buddy in the bargain.

24 comments:

WT said...

What's this? A mea culpa from the Rotten Commenter. How very out of character for you...

Metamorphic Sweet Wood Irene said...

Believe me RC, that doesn't even come close to whining. As a matter of fact, I don't think you have whined yet, so I say, go ahead and do it a little, it may make you feel better. You know, we can handle a certain amount of that, because we are your loyal buddies, through thick and thin. Right guys?

ped crossing said...

And you may have noticed that some of your blog buddies are commenting less. It has nothing to do with you, just the insanity of life.

I understand and I hope you do too.

Hope you enjoyed your snuggle last night. :)

Maggie May said...

NO, that's not REAL whining! You have a lot going on & you are a human after all, not a machine!
Don't be hard on yourself!
True friends stick by you!
You will see.

belle said...

Honey, I am soo with you in the tiredness of everything. The crappiness of my life is running in parallel to your's. The difference is I crossed the whining line way way back. But there is something to be said for catharsis. Do what you need to do to get by and don't worry about it. You write so well I am sure you will always have bucket loads of readers.

ciara said...

at least you have an excuse...i have none. i'm not posting, commenting, or reading as much.

trust me, i've seen LOTS of whining, and i don't think you quite come close :) venting, yeah, that's it, you're venting and just vent away, honey. xo

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

You call that a whine!? Pah! You wait till you read mine!!

You are going through a stressful time and working long hours. You are entitled to winge from time to time. And it's your blog and you are allowed. So there. Be told!

I think we're all going through blogging hell at the moment and a lot of us aren't getting aroun to all the blogs we'd like to. Don't let that add to your stress, that isn't what blogging is about. I know what the "rules" say but, you know, they're there to be broken!

softinthehead said...

Go ahead - just let us have it!! We are all here in support, and we may want to whine one day soon :)

softinthehead said...

And another thought, when one of needs to whine in the future, we can say ....but RC did it! :)

laurie said...

of all the things for you to feel bad about during this time of divorce, stress, overwork, freaked-out kids, broken computers, falling-down-house, etc., i would think that not commenting on somebody's blog would be the last thing on your list.

Kaycie said...

re: Laurie's comment

If it's not the last thing on your list, move it there. Now. And stop it with the guilty feelings. We're here because we like you (and on occasion are worried about how you're doing). Your comments are down? Big deal. Take care of you and yours. We're all big kids.

Kaytabug said...

I don't think I have read any whine here. Bitches and rants don't effect me, they are great reads. Anyway... If I enjoy reading someone I still read and comment even if they don't comment on my blog. Don't worry, I bet there are many more that feel the same as me. We are here to walk beside you through the valley and celebrate at the mountain top.

Remember to dance in the rain.

Iota said...

Oh shut up. For a start, I like reading your stuff whatever, the downs, the ups, the groans, the joys, the woes. And secondly, this is not whining. You want to know what whining is? It's this:

Mommy, can I have a cookie? Why can't I have a cookie? I reeeelly want a cookie? It's not fair. Why can't I have a cookie? You gave x a cookie. Pleeeeese. I WANT A COOKIE. Can I have a cookie RIGHT NOW? It's not fair. etc etc

aims said...

Gawd girl! I've been doing more lurking than commenting lately and I'm not going through what you are!

Still - I totally understand what you are saying and where you are coming from.....The fact that you are still blogging amazes me.

Akelamalu said...

Whining? I don't hear any whining! You keep posting, we'll keep reading and commenting. You can visit when you feel more like it. xx

Potty Mummy said...

Forget about it RC. We all know you're having a rough time - you don't need to comment. (And you think YOU whine? You should hear my 4 year old...)

PixelPi said...

Whining? You call this whining? You have not heard whining until you've been on the phone with me for 15 minutes, and then laid it down and gone off to walk the dogs, and come back to find me still whining.

I challenge you for the role of Queen of Whining. HA!

Swearing Mother said...

First of all I'd like to say that I'd rather read you in a mood than many people who are euphoric all the time about their perfect lives. Secondly, we love you and want to keep in touch with you any way that suits you.

I don't mind if you just sit there and read our comments and don't do all that bloggy stuff that goes with the territory. Strike a blow for freedom, do it your way.

Normal service will no doubt be resumed as soon as possible, but until then - no pressure. Whine all you want to, you're still writing one of the best blogs I've ever read.

the planet of janet said...

pooh. that's a minor league whine.

you haven't graduated to the majors yet.

hang in there.

Carolyn said...

We all have our ups and downs, but rest assured, my feelings haven't been hurt just because you've totally abandoned me in the last few weeks. I'll forgive you eventually.

KIDDING!!!

Blogging can be extremely time consuming. Just keep writing and do only what you can do. Your whining (your word, not mine) is interesting and funny and always looks great coming down the runway (although I could do without the scowly faces and the avant garde makeup). Get it all out and come back fighting. We'll be here for it all.

Carolyn said...

ps - thanks for your lovely comment on my "making babies" post. I really appreciate your kindness and support. It means a lot.

See? You're doing more good in the blogging world than you think...

Pamela said...

I'm just commenting with WT because you need more cheese with that whine.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Chill bebe. We are here. We understand. I've struggled to get round the last few nights. Sometimes life intervenes and you have to go with it. Stop worrying and get some time for you if you can. x

Amy said...

Look, lady. I'll read your so-called whining as often as you post it. Don't worry about commenting on other people's blogs. If their egos can't handle the fact that an overworked, emotionally drained, emergency room nurse mom who's in the throes of a divorce whom they've never even met isn't leaving comments on their own self-important rambles, it's no skin off your back. Take care of you and yours. We'll always love ya.