Saturday, May 10, 2008

susie montana

Surfer Dude was filling me in on the soap opera goings on in his classroom.

"Well, Julia broke up with Connor today but then Daniel got her on the rebound," he explained. "She decided that she really wasn't so into the bad boys and wanted someone who could make a commitment."

I listened mutely, afraid to even open my mouth.

"It all worked out though," he continued. " She and Daniel went out for about four hours once over Spring Break, so it isn't like they have nothing in common."

I took the plunge.

"Do you have any thoughts on the whole girlfriend thing?" I asked warily, fingers crossed behind my back.

"Nah," he answered. "Life's too short to be tied down."

They're in the fifth grade.

This particular girl has been a thorn in Surfer Dude's side for years, and to add insult to injury lives across the street from us. (As I write this she's on the sidewalk shouting his name, hoping he'll rise to the bait and come outside). I've always kind of thought of her as the Susie Derkins to his Calvin, but she's all of sudden gone from ten to about sixteen. She's wearing lip gloss and tossing her hair and is always perfectly accessorized on the playground. She's a little Hannah Montana clone, with a horde of female followers mimicking her every move. The kid has always been high maintenance, but it's getting a little scary.

SD is laying on the sofa next to me, trying to lay his disgustingly filthy socks on my legs. He's (surprise!) clutching the remote and watching Man vs. Wild, as the guy on TV is cooking and eating a slow puff adder. His jealousy is palpable. Simultaneously, he's trying to figure out how to talk me into letting him go all summer without changing his clothes and planning a burp contest for his birthday party next week. He's ten going on six.

Thank god.


ped crossing said...

Fifth grade is fun this time of year. Not. The maturing and un-maturing at the exact same time. Imagine 29 of them all day long. It is easiest to sit back and think of it as a soap.

Meanwhile, my almost 7 year old has three girlfriends. I am in so much trouble.

Corey~living and loving said...

oh man oh man.....I seriously just want to put my head in the sand and not even think about it.

So glad Surfer Dude is not interested yet.

Nervus Rex said...

LOL at your last (longer) paragraph re: what Surfer Dude is *really* thinking about!

He would get along so well with my 10yo daughter ;-) hehehehehehehe

I am SO not ready for the mix and matches ahead!!

Maggie May said...

Year Five's are the most unpleasant lot! In my play ground duties! I come straight over from reception and then go straight to years Fives! (The difference!)
Yeah.. they start young today! Always in & out of little romances. With Reception age... usually the girls wind the boys up & then come crying when it gets out of hand! Come to think of it... that's exactly how it is in Year Five!

Iota said...

The pressure on girls here to be teen pop star wannabes is huge. It's just the saddest thing. In the nation where being true to yourself is the mantra that kids are taught to say, the reality is that they're all manipulated all the time to be true to the marketing success of 2 or 3 large corporations. It starts so young too. What freedom of choice does a toddler have? She has to be brave indeed to decide she likes anything other than pink. It's good practice, though, because living with limited choice is going to be her lot for the next 10 years at least. What happened to the pioneer spirit and the settlers' imaginations inspired by the open spaces and wide skies, and the hope of a new life?

Am I the only one who hates all this? It's not a lot better in the UK, but I think a little less pressurising.

Jo Beaufoix said...

I am so glad SD is 10 going on 6. Miss E is 7 going on 14 sometimes, but then she does something all cute and daft and I breathe a sigh of relief.

the mother of this lot said...

Thank God indeed!

ciara said...

my 5th grader is somewhere in between sd and the neighbor girl. she likes boys, but obsessively so, likes to do something things that boys do-some that girls do, but even though she has gloss and stuff like that, will rarely wear it. she had a little bf this school yr, but she wasn't into any hand holding, kissing, or whatever...probably why he moved on to someone else. i told her that it was good that she didn't do anything she wasn't ready for especially for a boy.

it's good that sd is not interested. my stepson has been into girls for a long started probably 3rd or 4th grade
: / now that he's 13...too much girl drama LOL

Rudee said...

My son was shy and bashful until his freshman year of college. He blossomed then. Hope yours stays the same. I remember the last time my son held my hand while out in public. We were walking down the street in old town Montreal and he just sort of slipped his hand in mine. I'll never forget it. If I'd known it was going to be the last time before he was too grown up to do it ever again, I'd have cherished it more at the time. What I recall of that evening will have to suffice.

Jettie said...

OOHH I hate these years were coming into...the 13 teen going on 18 girl that lives in this house..I thought was once that sweet little never say anything hurtful gone!!!

laurie said...

there is nothing in the world cuter than an 8-year-old boy.

Carolyn said...

Oh Hell. You're trying to tell me they grow up?? Stop the ride now. I want off.

CrazyCath said...

Mine is 10 going on 6 too. Thankfully.
I know how you feel. ;0)

Pamela said...

where are her parents?