Tuesday, May 13, 2008

not such a good idea


Our hospital is celebrating Employee's Week, so today when I walked in to work there was the biggest box of donuts I've ever seen just waiting to be devoured. So of course I ate one. I don't even like donuts but I ate one anyway.


A little later there was a reception downstairs where they had a huge fruit basket and some cookies. So of course I had some fruit. I had an apple and a banana and then some grapes.


Riiiiight. Forget the fruit. I had a cookie. A big, bakery sized snickerdoodle. And it was good.


Soon after that I had lunch. A big salad, full of chickpeas and beets and fiber filled leafy greens. I figured if nothing else, it would at least neutralize the cookies.


Soon after that someone decided that it wasn't fair to make us actually walk to the sugar, so they brought the sugar to us. We had a tray of bakery cookies in the break room that was roughly the size of my laundry room. I had an oatmeal raisin cookie and another snickerdoodle. Of course I washed this all down with my usual gallon of Diet Coke that fuels me through the workday. By the time I absently mindedly ate my second donut, I was noticing vague Mt. St. Helen's type rumbles from my belly.


This was right about the time they brought in the tray of peanut butter cookies, my biggest cookie addiction. It was all downhill from there, and by the time the beans and the greens and the carbonation and the caffeine and the sugar overload started duking it out in my gut I was ready for one of my own trauma beds. The last two hours of my shift I moaned more than my patients. And got a hell of a lot less sympathy, too.


Next year I hope they get us something useful, like a stomach pump.

19 comments:

Noortje said...

Man, cookies are my downfall. You can't leave me in a room with a plate of cookies, I will eat them all. It doesn't matter what kind, but preferably chocolate chip.

Nothing bad ever happens to me either as a result. Well, yes, I gain weight, but they don't make me sick, which they ought to.

On Temptation Island, they wouldn't have men for me, but lots of cookies and brownies.

Maggie May said...

Blimey! I feel sick just reading all this cookie stuff! Although I am partial to chocolate digestives, I MUCH prefer savoury stuff!
No one bothers with employees in England! More's the pity! But YOU deserve all the fuss!
Hope you feel better!

the planet of janet said...

sounds like a day in my office.

it's incredible how much food there is ... and how much everyone scarfs down!

Frances said...

argh - how cruel of them to supply you with so much stuff you had to make yourself eat! LOL

Rudee said...

It proves my theory that our employers are only out to create more business (stress ulcers, herniated discs or like you, gastritis.) My friend fell and broke her hip at work requiring surgery. She had come in last week to turn in her office keys/severance paperwork as hers had been one of the 400 job cutbacks in our system. Would I "sh!t" you?

laurie said...

makes me happy to work in a place where they don't appreciate us.

Kaycie said...

Heh. A stomach pump. Useful. In an ER. Heh.

ped crossing said...

Can't they just appreciate you with a Diet Coke drip? And a day off?

Hope the rumbling has quieted and you didn't complete the Mt. St. Helens impersonation. :)

Nervus Rex said...

HEh. I hear you, sister!

Why oh why do we think that just because scrubs are baggy and come in increasing sizes, we need to fill all those sizes up with Nurse Donut Body??

UGH. I'm bouncing off the walls just thinking of all that sugar!

Akelamalu said...

It was all just too tempting wasn't it? :)

Carolyn said...

Urp. I'm not feeling so well just reading that. Darn chick peas with all that soluble fibrey goodness! Watch out. They'll get you every time.

Feel better, eh.

Amy said...

Um, eew.

Unfortunately, I don't feel sick eating all that stuff until I go to bed, at which point I can't sleep because it all keeps trying to climb back out again.

Mya said...

And I thought that rumbling was a bit of thunder rolling down the valley from the Pyrenees. Hope you're feeling better now...haven't exploded or anything!

Mya x

aims said...

Being a celiac I just gaped at all the gluten you ate and shuddered!

Sorry my friend - just not for me.
I definitely know better.

girl with the mask said...

"Neutralise the cookies"... they aren't bombs you know!

GoneBackSouth said...

Goodness me, that is a lot of grub. I'm with you on the neutralising idea, I regularly give myself permission to eat chocolate if I've eaten spinach or asparagus for dinner.

holly said...

i *will* eat my way out of a house made of cookies. even now i'm hoping someone will build one and dare me to do it.

Rose said...

I know exactly what you mean. Last week was Teacher Appreciation week and man those PTA moms were good to us. It was breakfast, lunch, and snacks all week, or would have been except I only worked 3 days! But I went back on the WW wagon Monday morning, so I'm doing ok now.

CrazyCath said...

That is serous overload. I feel full already...
Really well told - I would just write - employees day - employer rammed cookies down my throat - I ate - I burped - I farted - I'm ill - no one seems to care - time over again I'd do it again - love cookies.;0)

Your way is much more interesting.