Friday, March 14, 2008

crossroads

When I started this blog, almost a year ago, I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted it to be. My thought was to combine a little bit of our family life mayhem with the often crazy stories from work, tossed with a little slice of life observation mixed with as much tongue in cheek humor as I could. That was the plan at the time and all in all I think I've stuck to it. Sometimes light and frothy, sometimes moving, sometimes just plain silly.Sometimes frankly bitchy. All the parts of me, all rolled into one.


Sometimes I lean a little too far in one direction and other times I tilt the opposite way. At first I spent a lot of time bemoaning the fact that I don't really have a niche. I think it could be simpler if I blogged about just work or just kids or just...anything. But I've always liked the freedom that came from having different wells to draw from. Maybe I'm easily bored, but it suited me. Maybe no one facet of my life was interesting enough on its own, but added up it had potential.


And this brings me to my dilemma.


I've not usually shied away from writing personal posts, but I've always recognized that there are limits to these things. I know exactly what my comfort level is and I can tell immediately when I'm crossing my line. I also know that I get away with a lot of stuff because of what one of my favorite curmudgeons called my "self-deprecating humor." You can say pretty much anything you want as long as you make yourself the butt of the joke. I was born to be the butt of the joke so this works well for me. If I can't make you laugh with me I have no false pride about trying to get you to laugh at me. I'll take it any way I can get it.


My life has done a complete 180 in the last week and it is without a doubt affecting everything I do. I've said and heard and thought and felt things that I never in a million years expected to experience. I'm standing, to be totally over the top melodramatic, on the edge of the old and the brink of the new and there are ravenous sharks in the water in-between. And to be perfectly honest, it's hard not to write about some of it. I've filled countless journal pages and written many email rants and IM'd my little heart out. And it felt really good to get a lot of it out there. (If you've written me and not gotten a rant yet - don't relax too soon. Truly. I'm in catch up mode).


Like I said earlier, I know my comfort zone. I'm not talking about bashing people or using this blog as a bully pulpit. But I'm finding that there really can be a hell of a lot of comedy in tragedy, and sometimes it's hard to not spin a potentially funny story at my own expense just because it's based on something so truly dreadful. I'm going to be single for the first time in 23 years, and if that doesn't conjure up a whole boatload of potential anecdotes I don't know what will. I'm going to be primary parent for three boys who already try to kill me on a daily basis. And no matter how hard I tried, I'm even ending up with Dee Dee in the deal. There is no justice.


So what I wonder from all of you is what your interest level in this is. Would you rather I stayed light and frothy? Sarcastic and snarky? Ratting out my children every time they do something semi-criminal? Or would you be interested in tagging along for this very interesting - and wholly unexpected- path my life has taken?


I'd really like to know.

54 comments:

ped crossing said...

I don't think that any of us come back for a specific topic. We visit because of the spin you put on things. Granted the crazy work stories amuse us and many of us can relate to crazy kid stories. But mostly we come because you write well and make life interesting.

Now you have a new strand to weave into the mix. I certainly don't expect you be light and fluffy all the time. We all need our times to be snarky and crabby about the sometimes crappy aspects of life.

And we are all here to love and support you as you find your way through the new twist that life has thrown at you.

Did that answer the question? It has been a really, really long day.

Willowtree said...

Huh? You're going to be a single mother, what's that all about? Is this just more of your self-defecating humour? I'm totally confused now.

As for your question...are you kidding me?? You've got women readers, of course they want the details!

Don't worry about me, there's lots of other blogs for me to read while you're going through this.

Thalia's Child said...

You're one of my favourite blogs to read, and nothing will change that. I look forward to reading your post every night when it goes up, and part of that eagerness is because you aren't confined to one particular topic.

Becoming a single parent, becoming a divorcé, becoming the unwitting and unwilling parent of a retarded Lab - those are HUGE changes to your life stage - and to ignore them in your blog would make for a very incomplete picture of you.

In case it's not clear, I am in favour of you blogging about this period in your life. I think it will help you get past the sharks.

Love to you -

Stacie said...

I am here for whatever you feel like writing about, whether that is the funny, the sad things, or anything in between--just write about what swims around in that head of yours.

You are an incredibly talented writer, no matter what the topic is, and I come here for that, too! Damn, you're good!

Hugs to you...

-Ann said...

I can only speak for myself - but I want to hear it all.

Kaycie said...

I want to hear about whatever you're doing, saying, thinking that you want to share. Really.

Carolyn said...

What everyone just said and more.

Write whatever you want. We'll be here to read. When I started my blog I did it just for me. To hash out my thoughts and deal with some of the annoyances in my life. Now that I have an (albeit very small) audience, I find myself changing my tone, re-considering my topics and writing BS that isn't always important to me because I think it might be interesting to 'my readers'.

Don't do that. Write for yourself first and foremost. Write whatever is most useful to you each day. You're a great writer, so it's sure to be entertaining to all of us who read your blog, even if it's a downer topic.

In broadcasting school we learned the three tenants of news: inform, educate and entertain. I'm sure a post about the difficulties of going through a divorce could be very informative and educational to someone going through the same thing. It doesn't always have to be witty and funny. (Although I'm sure you can put an entertaining spin on it anyway).

Just keep writing because I always look forward to your posts.

Chin up and all that crap.

ciara said...

i love everything you write...i want to know as much as you want to let me/us know. the new blog i invited you to was where i could rant about stuff w/o stinky reading it. i don't think he would look at what i'm saying objectively lol truth is, i don't have much to hide...i'm usually straightforward and talk about anything/everything. sometimes i just have to watch out who i talk with lol anyways, i have loved your blog ever since my first visit, and no matter what you want to write about, i'll always come back. xoxo

p.s. who could really be light and fluffy w kids who drive ya nuts and being a single parent...i never was :)

Corey~living and loving said...

I know, that I personally read you because You are You....I'll read what you write, and for me....the more transparent a person is....the better. I would not enjoy reading your light stuff, when I know in real life you are going through some heavy stuff. It would feel off.

I'm here...no matter what you write....unless you talk about killing kittens for fun...or somthing like that....tee hee

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

RC, I love reading your blog and it truly is the first one I read of a morning. As with the many other blogs I read daily, it's impossible not to get caught up in the writer's life so, yep, I'm happy to tag along with as much as you feel comfortable writing about.

belle said...

Write what works best for you. You have a style that ensures people will come back for more whatever you choose.

the mother of this lot said...

So you're thinking of being sarcastic and snarky and ratting on the kids? Nice to know not everything's changed!!

I hope you've taken time off work. I'm serious.

Sweet Irene said...

I'll gladly tag along with this very interesting - and wholly unexpected - path your life has taken and hold your hand in the process and let you cry on my shoulder should you feel so inclined.

Big Hug!

Rudee said...

I have a feeling that whatever you choose to write, your initial characteristics will shine through. Write what feels good to you and the rest can go in your novel.

Flowerpot said...

write what you want and need to write, RC. That's what I feel.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

Personally, you should write what you want to. You have a huge following of bloggers and I very much doubt any of them (including me) will shy away from your blog whatever. Everything you write about is interesting, fascinating, sometimes humourous and always heartfelt and it's what people want to read.

A few weeks ago I was stopped dead from writing about a certain subject. I was threatened with legal action. I won't go into it because apart from it being terribly boring it's also pissed me off bigtime! Anyway, what I'm saying is write about ANYTHING. We love your blog.

CJ xx

softinthehead said...

Whatever...bring it on - I'll be here.

Jen said...

Simply put, a blog is your story line. You go where you want with it, and if it's well done, the reader will follow. Juding by your comment count, and what everyone has said, I think you'll be fine no matter what. I mena, hey, some of us watched every season of Twin Peaks, and that had more bizarro turns than anything.

Jen said...

And I really should wake up before I comment. I apologize for the spelling errors. Damn my lack of caffeine!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Ditto what everyone else, except Willowtree, has said. I'm also looking forward to reading about the flowering of your relationship with Willow. Seriously. I think he's your type. And how come you get DeeDee?

laurie said...

don't worry about us. write for yourself. that's the only way to do it.

Graham Cracker said...

I agree wtih the other comments, many of which were expressed so much better than I would have been able to. And if you have a day where you have no idea, I have been thinking for a while that for the benefit of your newer readers you might repost the ER board game you did early on. I still lol thinking of that one.

Rose said...

Be yourself. Continue being yourself even as you change. Share what you want to share; it's your story, right? This isn't too eloquent, but I hope it's clear. Wishing you the best as you go through this transition, from one who's been there and is now on the other side. Although transitions never really stop do they? They just change.

Eileen said...

RC,
Write what your comfort level tells you to write. I think you know how much we care and are here for you. Really. Blogging is a funny thing, we don't really "know" each other, but we do, and the caring and concern is the real deal. I think it helps to to "talk" about it, but that is me.
I'm glad you got Dee Dee.
Love.

Anonymous said...

Write what you need to write; what works for you. We don't know you, but you have made us care for you, laugh and cry with you. We'll still be with you

rubberduckiemom said...
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rubberduckiemom said...
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Marti said...

Hey RC

I agree with everyone. Write what you want becuase it is you; it makes me want to read it. You have to get things off your chest and this is a great forum to do it.

I would not give in so easily in taking the DeeDee dog. Wasn't it FG's decision to get her? There is no justice!!

Take care, freind and I am still waiting to hear from you...You have 100% of my support - whatever you need.

Hugs!

Jettie said...

WOW!! You know i feel for you. I love how you write..I sometimes have so many things to say abut am kinda a bit of a chicken in expressing myself. That is what I love about you!! I love true life and i love how you have a great outlook on it!! Don't change a thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i hope the best in the coming days for you!!!

kathy said...

I think a blog should be a fun way to vent, cheaper than therapy. We can all relate to family issues, and I'm sure we all feel better knowing we aren't the only ones going through the same stuff. Anything you write about is fun to read, but it's more fun when I can relate to it.

Happy in the Abyss said...

I would read your blog if you wrote in a languge I didn't know and had to take one of those cassette courses on it.

And screw the shark infested water. We have dealt with sharks before and we will after this is but a memory we can laugh at over lemon drops.

"You're gonna need a bigger boat!"

PixelPi said...

Just keep on blogging, RC. Your blog is the highlight of my blog-reading day. Frankly, I'd like to hear more about the retarded dog, but whatever you write will be fine. You live in Kansas. There are no sharks in Kansas.

aims said...

Just tell it like it is darlin -

You know me - I've spilled my guts from the beginning - so I'm with you on that...

Iota said...

Throw it in the mix. A bit of everything, the variety, that is one thing that makes your blog stand out. If you want to wallow, wallow. If you want to rant, rant. If you want to self-deprecate, you go right ahead and self-deprecate. Chuck in the odd ER tale from time to time, and a bit of Hollywood history, because you know we all love those. But otherwise, as to the here and now domestic and emotional stuff, I say it's part of you and it's part of your life in the present moment, so if you want to air it in public (you're a braver woman than I), then you should do it and we'll love you for it.

You are the woman who persuaded me to drop my persona for a post and have a good vent. And guess what? I loved it. I felt better for writing it. The readers loved it. And I should do it more often. You said something to me at the time like 'who wants to hang out with Mary Poppins?" Well, who wants to hang out with Florence Nightingale?

By the way, I've just reread some of your blog from last August to remind myself of the details of our venting conversation. I can't believe how much good stuff you've been writing for so long! Only thing is, it takes a century to download. Don't you know I've got better things to do with my morning than keep checking the computer to see if that little circle is still going round?

Frances said...

Write whatever you want to, remembering everyone can read it.
I read your blog every day. When I get here you generally have a long long list of comments, usually at least 6 saying what I think and so I don't comment.
Just so you know there are probably plenty of people reading who are not commenting. Some, like me, who are with you all the way - others could be anyone - and you might not want to share some stuff with them.
wishing you well with the change in your life - you've been hinting at it for some time, so I guess it's been coming for a while. hope it turns out to be better for you this way..And I hope you don't get any nasties commenting now.

Iota said...

Hi, me again. I think Frances has words of wisdom. We have all encouraged you to spill your guts, but once your words are in the public domain, you don't know who is reading or what the consequences are going to be. So yes, a word of caution is well-placed.

Actually, I was going to lighten the tone, by telling you that most of your British readers will be humming a little tune to themselves, as a result of the title of this post. It will be the theme tune of a soap opera which was popular before soaps were invented, really, in the early '70s. It was called Crossroads, and was set in a motel called The Crossroads Motel. Yes, really. A soap in a motel. The only thing that most people remember about it is the theme tune, during which the credits arrived on the screen form all four directions in turn (top, bottom, left, right). Crossroads, you see. Clever. Television has come a long way since the '70s.

Akelamalu said...

You write, I'll read, anything! Get it off your chest if that's what you want to do honey. x

Dumdad said...

Like you, I've been blogging for a year and when I started I set myself no parameters; I still don't. It's true if you want to find fame and fortune your blog should be really about one theme and never deviate. I've discussed this in a post and believe that as well written as some famous blogs are they're not, to me anyway, as interesting as the blogs I do read that are forever surprising me with a different subject or rant or take on the world.

So, I guess I'm saying I've liked whatever you've posted and I hope to continue to do so. So, keep on blogging in your singular, wonderful way!

janet said...

this is your blog, hon. it is your outlet for your thoughts and your world.

if that's tragicomedy or cometragedy, kids, work, whatever ... that's up to you. life isn't light and frothy, and it's not reasonable to expect that fulltime from a real person with a real story to tell.

i'll read whatever you put up here. would i like to know the details? of course. i've also been through it before (twice, actually) and i "enjoy" (ech, bad word choice, but you get the picture) comparing stories and offering unwanted advice and a willing ear to listen.

hang in there, kiddo.

Omega Mum said...

If you want to blog it, we want to read it. Do whatever makes you feel better. Good luck.

Omega Mum said...

If you want to blog it, we want to read it. Do whatever makes you feel better. Good luck.

Omega Mum said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Omega Mum said...

If you want to blog it, we want to read it. Do whatever makes you feel better. Good luck.

Willowtree said...

Man, if I knew you could get over 40 comments just by having marital problems I would have left my wife months ago!

Swearing Mother said...

RC: I'm with you for the ride whatever direction that takes you. Write what you feel if it helps you to get through difficult times, and if you feel like sharing, that's fine. Whatever you write about, I know you'll do it in your own brilliant style as you always, always do.

And as long as you're writing, we're reading, RC.

x

LCM said...

I think you should write whatever you feel like. I purposely started my blog with pseudonyms so that I could use it to say whatever I needed to get out. I think we are probably pretty cheap therapy!

Sandy said...

Of course we want to know. We also want to share with you our own survival tips. Well, maybe not, mine involved a lot of tequila.

Take care of you.

Mya said...

RC,
I think you should write as much as you want to write about it. Of course we'll be interested - it's human nature! But I also think you could try channelling some of your anger/rants/creative genius into some other kind of writing. Divorce isn't funny. Is it? Or is it it? It's not funnny right now - but in three years time when you're the next Nora Ephron, it might not look so bad.
Look after yourself sweetie.
Mya x

Kaytabug said...

I am so sorry that this is happening.

Raw, honest,real...those are some of the best posts. I enjoy reading anything you write. I think you should write what ever you want to, what ever you feel the need to get out.
Lots of HUGS to you and the boys too.

Wisewebwoman said...

Best of luck and healing in all your endeavours, FC.
Write what your heart dictates. I'm a firm believer in letting whatever words strike the page, the political, the personal, the commentary, the foibles and for every comment you get there are at least 10 lurkers.
We all help each other scale the battlement of life.
I so enjoy your writing!
XO
WWW

Faye said...

So RC, if nothing else you have Willowtree suffering from a bad case of "comment envy". That's great and even though you could use your nursing skills to get him out of his misery, I'd say let him twist for a bit!

To your serious question about how much to reveal in your blog writing. I'm a novice blogger, but have decided that the best and most satisfying posts come from writing about what's circling in your life--readers and friends be damned!

Jo Beaufoix said...

RC, we want all of you hon. Whatever you want to give. I haven't read through all the comments as I'm trying to catch up AGAIN, but I can't imagine anyone would say any different. Hug.

Diana said...

Been at a conference, just catching up. I'd read anything you'd care to write. Anything. So you just write what ever the hell you want and I'll lap it up. Maybe a few days late, but that just ages it like fine wine.

Simply left-handed Jenn said...

rc- i want to hear about YOU, the good, the bad and the ugly (you're the good). So whatever you feel comfortable writing about, write about it.