Tuesday, March 18, 2008


My poor kids are not having an easy time. And it's manifesting itself in ways that are both completely expected and totally...not.

Sasquatch, who I expected to retreat to his room and not come out until Christmas, has been very open with me about his feelings and emotions.

Gumby, who I expected to be kind of clingy and weepy, has been sort of standoffish and more than a little mouthy.

Surfer Dude, who I expected to rant and rage, has steadfastly refused - tears in his eyes - to talk about the situation at all.

So much for my superhero mind reading powers.

Then we have the intangibles and the soundtrack.

Sasquatch will be turning sixteen next Sunday and has been obsessively planning his party for a week.

Gumby has been on a building jag and has created a kind of whip out of a light saber handle and a multi-colored jump rope.

Surfer Dude went to a birthday party over the weekend and got one of those heavy rubber balloons on a rubber band that you bounce against your hand. I'm very familiar with the sound, because he's also gotten really clingy and follows me from room to room.

It's Spring Break. And we're all here. And when I say we're all here...I mean we're all here. (Until we figure out what to do with the house the FG is out in the studio). So this is what I hear all day-

Gumby: (cracking the whip). Snap! Snap! Ow! (when he accidentally hits someone) Yelp! (when he accidentally hits a slow dog) You jerk! (when he nails one of his brothers on purpose). Snap!

Surfer Dude: (hitting the balloon). Wham! Wham! Wham! Do you want to come and sit with me, mom? Wham! Wham! Are you in the bathroom? Wham! Wham! Do you want to make pancakes? Wham! Wham!

Sasquatch:(obsessing) Do you think twelve kids is too much for the sleepover (Wham! Wham! Snap! Yelp!) because we had ten last year and it seemed to go okay (You jerk!) and everyone is bringing their TV's and gaming systems (Snap! Snap!) and you don't even need to buy food because if you'll just give me money (Yelp!) we'll walk to the store and buy snacks and is Tuesday okay with you (If you don't put that blessed thing down right this instant I'm going to have a nervous breakdown!) oh wait so and so will be out of town on Tuesday (Wham! Wham!) how about Wednesday no wait a minute Wednesday isn't good either (You jerk!) so what do you think I should do? Snap!

I think Snap! has a nice ring to it, don't you?


Willowtree said...

At least you're not sitting in a corner, stewing.

my two cents said...

Sounds like things are back to normal.

ped crossing said...

The beautiful thing about children, they don't let you grind to a halt to wallow in your misery. They force you to continue to function.

And I have to agree with two cents, sounds pretty normal to me. Sorry about the shared space thing, that has to be kind of awkward.

Jettie said...

Well i am glad you have some normalcy thing back?
Kids make it all so precious!!:)~

Carolyn said...

You poor poor dear. I'm sending happy thoughts your way. Do you have an iPod? I suggest putting it on and turning it up very loud.

Whatever you do, don't stop by my blog and burn your retinas out by looking at the obnoxious green St.Patrick's Day image I put up. The situation in your house would be ten times worse if hearing (instead of sight) was your primary sense.

ciara said...

awww (((gumby))) (((surferdude and sasquatch, too))) i know what gumby's going through...he's probably feeling a little bit of abandonment, though technically he's not. he's making sure you don't leave, too. stepson would do that w his dad, but then his mother is an alcoholic/drug user. every age handles it differently and the older they are the harder it is including adults whose parents divorce. it's good that your oldest is sharing his feelings about it all...i can see it's going to be a little rougher w the other two.

a book i have, which i really wish i had when i was going thru the sep, is called 'helping your kids cope w divorce the sandcastle way'. it really has some good ways to help the kids.

my kids are what got me thru the sep/div thing

PixelPi said...

The shared space thing is just wrong. FG can certainly find a by the week room in a gentleman's hotel and live like the Blues Brothers.

The SNAP thing would have had me on my last nerve in about 30 seconds and require me to take tranquilizers, or maybe move in temporarily with a pal and let FG have to hear SNAP.

I'm up way too early to be kind. Sorry.

softinthehead said...

You soundly saintly - not a bad word spoken (or admitted to) - you obviously have far more patience than most, I was stressed out just reading it. Good luck!

laurie said...

i think i love surfer dude.

send him up here for the weekend. he can play with riley. and we'll make pancakes.

Kaycie said...

My kids were so little during the divorce that the younger one didn't understand what was going on. My daughter had a hard time, though. Even though she's always been highly verbal, she couldn't communicate what she was feeling. So she screamed at bedtime. Every night.

I know what you're going through.

Get FG out as soon as humanly possible. You don't want to end up all "War of the Roses".

Marti said...


If it will help at all, I will have Duber call Gumby to see if he can get him to talk or at least maybe rant at someone. Bottling up is not so good.

Hang in there - things can only go up from here.


wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

Ooh yeah, watch War of the Roses for some ideas. I did.

It must be hard for everyone with FG still there. You're sort of in a limbo, ready to move on but you can't yet. Just let your kids know that you are there for them. My parents did the total opposite and look what happened to me!

Diana said...

Oh, snap!

Things will get better, eventually. Really. Kids will come through it as long as you keep it as non-acrimonious as possible and keep the lines of communication as open as possible. My folks split up when I was 14. It was not a romp in the park but it was not as hard as it could have been, thanks to them. They never bashed each other and always put my sister and I first. I'm sure it was harder on them than it was on us.

Kaytabug said...

Wow! See, you are a better Mom than I. I would have stuck a needle in that ball on a rubber band thing.I also would have taken away the Raiders of the lost Empire saber whip.I am an EVIL Mom.
I'm really feelin' for you. I hope things become a tad more calm. Sending you and your boys HUGS!!

Akelamalu said...

Sounds like they're getting on the one last nerve you've got left! :(

aims said...

I had written quite a bit here about FG still being in the house - and then I deleted it all.

Hoping only the best for everyone..

Kimberly said...

Good grief. I'd be twitching by now.

Iota said...

It sounds like a teenage version of the old rice krispies commercial: snap, crackle and pop.

Aoj & The Lurchers said...

Wham wham....oh, sorry.


Maggie May said...

Get it out of your system. Sounds like you're doing great!

laurie said...

here's my suggestion: you let gumby have as many friends over as he wants for that sleepover. 10? 12? 27?

and then turn the studio over to them. and FG.

Sandy said...

Snap sounds good! Snap, crackle and pop 'em upside their heads sounds even better! Although I do like Laurie's idea.

Jo Beaufoix said...

Well, at least they're making some kind of communication noises. I wouldn't be surprised if overnight all the noisy stuff got nicked or evaporated or something though. It could happen.