Everything I know about men I've learned from my boys.
All the good and bad and confusing and touching and ridiculous things that men do...start young. Very young. When they're itty bitty boys, as a matter of fact. And from my ringside seat I'm going to look at this phenomena from time to time and let you all have the benefit of my years in Testosterone Town. Because if I can't laugh at it in some way, I may as well put my mommy card on eBay. The trick is to (somehow) keep laughing.
Today, let's talk about competition. God knows everyone else in my house does.
Surfer Dude and Gumby have both been sneaking into my bed in the middle of the night lately, so that when I wake up, clinging to the edge for dear life, they've taken over the entire California King bed. The other morning, when this happened, I woke up before either one of them, pinned between two boys and three dogs. I looked at my clock and realized that Sasquatch should have already gotten up, so I called out to him to make sure that he was out of bed. Of course he wasn't, so I yelled (louder) that he was late and he needed to get a move on. (And the verdict is...rub a lamp and write yet another Friday detention on the calendar).
My yelling woke up the other two and without missing a beat Gumby said to SD
I've been awake since 7. What about you?
and SD smugly said
I've been awake since 6:45. I win.
I just woke both of you up and you know it. Why does everything have to be a competition?
And do you know what the answer I got was?
Oh, mom. (Underlying meaning? You're such a girl).
I had just dozed off again, when there was a loud noise underneath the blankets that sounded suspiciously fart like.
SD chuckled proudly.
Almost immediately there was another, considerably louder and far more pungent noise erupting from their vicinity. I threw back the covers and jumped out of bed, as my intestinally challenged dog looked on in professional envy, and Gumby said
Ha. I win.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Posted by the rotten correspondent at 12:02 AM