night shift

My dogs may be lazy, but they're not stupid. They've somehow figured out a way to keep me awake the maximum number of hours a night with the least amount of effort from them. How have they done this? By specializing.



Dee Dee will bark at any animal, no matter how small, who happens to pass by, but once they're gone she feels she's done her dogly duties and she flops back to sleep with a completely clear conscience.


Isaiah takes the baton if there are any traffic noises or sirens. His hound dog ears pick up the slightest screech of brakes or a fire truck six miles away, but once they wind down so does he. Confident that the house is safe from runaway squad cars, he settles down to his true nighttime passion - noxious emissions.


Trixie barks at the wind, leaves falling off the trees and the sound of a toilet flushing across town. She takes her alpha dog status seriously, protecting the house against the refrigerator when it cycles on and the little old lady sneezing down the street.


At any given time - all night long - there are two dogs snoring and one dog going ballistic. They wake up in the morning well rested and ready to face the day.


I wish I could say the same.