Wednesday, April 25, 2007

An Evil Plot Uncovered

My husband met me as I was getting up yesterday with a grim look on his face. “You have to come and check something out on the computer,” he said. “You aren’t going to like this at all.” Being the worrywart I am I immediately started thinking the worst. Earthquake in LA? My ninth graders report card? Dukes of Hazzard 2? I knew it was something to be reckoned with because he was herding me to the computer instead of the coffee pot, which is simply not done in our house. People standing between me and the coffee pot first thing in the morning have been known to meet unpleasant fates. After all these years, he certainly knows better. I sat down and he then brought me a cup of coffee. With just the right amount of milk and everything. I braced myself. This wasn’t going to be good.

Like the intelligent man he is, he sent me the link and got the heck out of Dodge to let me open it on my own. As I opened it, shock gave way to outright disbelief and then lead to white hot fury the more I read. It’s astounding the lengths some people will go to ruin other people’s lives. Here’s what he sent me –

A Swedish hospital wants to ban its staff from wearing Crocs plastic
clogs, saying they generate static electricity that can knock out medical

Blekinge hospital in southern Sweden suspects the slip-on shoes, made
by US firm Crocs Inc, are to blame for at least three incidents in which
respirators and other machines malfunctioned. The mishaps caused no

Hospital spokesman Bjorn Lofqvist said staff wearing the clogs could
turn into "a cloud of lighting" because of the static electricity.

He said there were similar problems with other shoes not designed for
hospital use, but the popularity of the Crocs had raised the issue to a
new level.

"It's been a problem for many years, but now there are so many people
that have them," he said, adding that officials were discussing whether
the shoes should be banned throughout the hospital or just in certain

A spokeswoman for Pforce AB, the Forsberg-controlled company that
imports Crocs to Sweden, said the company was performing tests on the shoes.

"We take this very seriously," she said, adding that the shoes were
very useful for hospital staff. "They are good to work in and have a shock
absorption that really helps people who do strenuous work

It’s me again. Are they out of their ever-loving minds? How could anyone ever expect me (and millions like me) to go to work in ANYTHING else? This is not a fashion statement, people. This is a way of life. This is the only footwear product in existence that allows you to run your butt off for twelve hour shifts without making your FEET hurt. Yes, they’re ugly. Yes, they’re everywhere. Yes, I’ve bought $100 pairs of tennis shoes hoping they would work. (They didn’t). But if my house was on fire and all the living things were safely out, my battered black Crocs would be one of the first things I would grab. They are like walking on air. I could write a poem about my Crocs. You can’t imagine how much all medical people think about their feet. Respirator Schmesperator. I worked in an ICU where it sometimes seemed every patient was on a vent and I never exploded. Not once. I’ve got your “cloud of lightning” right here, buddy.

We’ll see where this insanity leads, but I guarantee you any hospital that tries this here is going to have a big ol’ fight on their hands. Only a fool would take on a bunch of tired nurses with aching feet.

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