Friday, October 5, 2007

Gyno-Fest
















I'm sure this was supposed to be a one day thing and I've missed it, but...


Jen at A Snowball's Chance... posted this yesterday, and being the way I am I thought I'd crash the party. You really cannot take me anywhere. My social skills leave a lot to be desired and my blog archives prove it.


Brillig, over at Twas Brillig, and Amy from The Butrfly Garden, are the hosts of this little round table that they've dubbed The Gyno-Fest. The idea is that we share our horror stories about our OB/GYNs and the heinous things they may have done to us. Go over to their sites, and you can sign up if you wish to participate. (Or you could be too late like I most likely am). Oh well, it's a post.


First off, allow me to say that any males reading this needn't be getting their testes in a twist, as, unlike my work stories, I don't have any really graphic OB/GYN tales.Or personal bad ones, for that matter. For the most part I've had fabulous OBs. Of course there was the one when my wonderful doctor assured me after the birth of Gumby that my childbearing days were indeed over. When I got pregnant with Surfer Dude seven months later, after what I remain convinced was an Immaculate Conception, all she could say was "Oops." Four years of college, four years of medical school, seven years of residency and untold years of practice and that's the best she could do? Oops?


Actually my favorite OB/GYN horror story doesn't involve me at all, except as an interested bystander. It was during my labor and delivery rotation in nursing school, a rotation I had been dreading since the day I got my acceptance letter. ER nurses typically don't have much nice to say about L& D. I can't tell you why this is, but on the occasions some poor crowning pregnant woman shows up on our doorstep we can't get her upstairs fast enough. Maybe all those happy people vibes get on our nerves and mess with our doom and gloom aura.


Anyway, I was observing at a delivery that was going perfectly smoothly. Until the doctor showed up. This guy was an a**hole of the first magnitude. Arrogant, rude, condescending and on a power trip for the decades. Several of the nurses simply refused to work with him, as his favorite thing was to yell at nurses until they cried. He threw instruments, raged about things taking too long and had been known to hurl an entire sterile tray across the room if something was not exactly to his specifications. He was also, it must be added, drop dead gorgeous, young, busy beyond belief and adored by his patients, half of whom had the hots for him.



Well, this one nurse, let's call her Sally, was not the flappable type. As a matter of fact she usually gave as good as she got. She was also an excellent nurse. People had run around frantically as soon as they knew he was on the way in, getting everything set up perfectly for him. Sally set up his tray herself. He walked in, schmoozed the laboring woman, and reached for his gloves. Wrong size. He threw them on the floor and shouted for the right gloves. She grabbed another pair. Bingo. He asked for an instrument, but in such a way that it was difficult to know what he meant. She took a guess and gave him what he didn't want.


Now bear in mind that not only the necessary personnel were in the room, but also
family and a whole slew of nursing students. He gave her a look that would have melted mortals and said, through clenched teeth, "Either get me what I need or find someone who can." She asked what, specifically, he wanted. He said any nurse worth a lick would know exactly what he wanted. She guessed again and handed him an instrument. This was the right one. He turned away from her and got to work.


When he swung around a minute later he stuck out his hand and she slapped a suture kit into it. He looked at it puzzled and said,"What the hell is this for?"


And Sally said,"Oh, that's for the new asshole you're about to rip me."


We watched, stunned. She smiled sarcastically at him, basically inviting him to lighten the heck up and get the focus back on the laboring woman where it belonged.


Finally he looked at her and said, "No problem. Do you have another set for your mouth?"


He never even cracked a smile.

25 comments:

www.nolanotes.com said...

I love Sally! Good for her!!!

Kaycie said...

What an ass. Sally is my kinda girl.

Iota said...

You know, somewhere in the blogosphere, some woman is telling the story of the birth of her child, and it would sound strangely familiar to you...

What I love is the way you gals over here call it OB/GYN, which is clearly the result of generations of women spelling out the words because they don't want the young children in the room to know what they are talking about.

Sweet Irene said...

It's good to start the morning with a really horrible story like that! No, the story isn't horrible, the doctor is! Kind of puts everything into perspective, doesn't it? We could be exposed to a**holes all the time and luckily, we're not. Thank goodness for women like Sally.

JaniceNW said...

I did this kinda late as well. Better late than never.

Flowerpot said...

great story! And I've done my gynae bit for the week, on Monday!

laurie said...

...and now they're married after a passionate romance right there in the ER, right?

funny story. you should read "invasive procedures," by mark kramer. he writes about surgeons, and their arrogance is one of the subthemes of the book.

btw i left my obgyn story on jen's blog. it's not gruesome, just funny.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

What a complete barsteward. I hate gynea's, they always seem to be male!

Crystal xx

Jen said...

I'm too much like Sally. I would have lost my job. But I love her.

Amy said...

I'm guessing his name was Dick. What unprofessional behavior. I hope he's no longer practicing.

Butrfly Garden said...

Thanks for joining in!! I'm actually not going to post today to keep this thing going one more day.

I have learned that people like that NEED to be stood up to or they will just push you around. I work very closely with two of them.

Mya said...

Way to go Sally! What a jerk.

Mya x

Em said...

Hmmm. I'm delighted to say that I've never had an OB/Gyn experience other than being prescribed increasingly strong painkillers etc

Think I'll steer clear of the horror stories - I might yet want kids...

Stepping Over the Junk said...

I just...I just...can't-stop-laughing....I can't even comment more than this!! I gotta read this a few more times over...

Stepping Over the Junk said...

P.S. I am dreading my appt that I just made for next month...I have stories but they need to wait to get past the emotional stage

ciara said...

i haven't really had a gyno horror story unless you count the time i had my son. it was more that he was a rotten og/gyn than having his head stuck up his own ass like the doctor you mentioned. i have a fab ob/gyn now...a FEMALE. only thing that's a bit disconcerting is she looks a little like my ex monster-in-law lol

Jo Beaufoix said...

Great story RC.
What an arse.
I'd have sewed up his gob.

ped crossing said...

Some people just need a taste of their own medicine, he would be one of them.

I have had only good luck. I did have one OB that I wouldn't have ever chosen. I had just had a c-section and he was the doctor on rounds that day. His check consisted of him standing 5 feet way and never really even looking at me. Just a few questions and he was on his way. I did not feel reassured. Thank goodness it was a one time interaction.

Thalia's Child said...

Yay Sally!

I'm pretty sure that Doc had a horribly disfiguring accident and now works at the same hospital as my Mum. A**clown.

Worker Mommy said...

Go Sally!


I'd have kicked him in the shins ;)

Swearing Mother said...

I've been a bit off all Obs/Gynae consultants since one of them wrote me down as an "elderly primigravida" at the grand old age of 28.

Bloody cheek.

Akelamalu said...

Let's canonise Sally! As for the tw...doctor's patients having the hots for him - It must be their hormones!

belle said...

Oh this took me back! I've sooo many anecdotes of this sort and sooo little time ... But my days as a Midwife are over. My days as an ER nurse are too. Can't think what I do with my time now ...

Really enjoyed reading you, I'll be back.

Brillig said...

HAHAHAHAHA! Go Sally! That's awesome.

And... I think I'd have a very hard time sticking my feet up in stirups if the doc was really hot. Can you imagine having the hots for the guy doing your pap smear? YIKES!!!

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Thanks to everyone for the comments and welcome to nolanotes,janicenw,butrfly garden,worker mommy, belle and brillig.

And nice to see you again em, stepping over the junk and thalia's child.

As for the rest of you - as always you rock. I've been at home with a sick kid for three days and needed to "hear" friendly voices!