Friday, October 26, 2007

rock and roll

Eight years of apathy and missed chances are all catching up with me today in a big way. Ever since we've moved here my kids have periodically expressed an interest in going to the great big Six Flags type amusement park an hour away. Every summer I say we will and then about July when they ask when specifically I say it's too hot and we'll go in the Fall when it isn't a hundred percent humidity outside.

In the Fall when I'm finally ready to bite the bullet and go, I head to their website for info and do my very best Homer Simpson D'OH sound. Because we're not in California anymore and amusement parks aren't open year round and I suddenly realize that I've promised on my motherly honor (tarnished tho it is) to take my kids somewhere this weekend only to find out it's closed until April. In my continuing ineptitude I've extended this streak for eight years. It's ending today.

In an idea (mine) that I'd like to chalk up to drugs but can't, we're combining Halloween Haunted Houses with roller coasters at the great big Six Flags type amusement park. That's right folks, it's haunted amusement park time and we'll be there in all our glory. God help me. I'm picking the kids up as soon as they get out of school and we're heading out. The plan is to stay until they close at midnight.We're meeting up with some friends there (for parental moral support if nothing else). Last I heard the Film Geek, in all his vertigo prone glory is going too.

Speaking of vertigo, here is a video clip of one of the top attractions on my kid's list.

So for the sake of fun, lets take a closer look at all the participants, shall we? The Film Geek and his problem with spinning rides has been well documented. The man practically pukes at a picture of a merry go round. However, he's alright with heights. The Rotten Correspondent can be quite happily spun around like romaine in a salad spinner, but doesn't like to be any higher than the first step on a ladder. Surfer Dude is positive that the roller coaster hasn't been built that can faze him, but as he's never been on one before that's a matter for debate. He's refusing to go in the Haunted Houses on general principle. Gumby is positive that the Haunted House hasn't been built that can faze him, but as he's never been in one before that's a matter for debate. He's refusing to go on the roller coasters on general principle. And Sasquatch, who is pretty much afraid of everything, will be wandering the park with at least one and possibly two of his friends who will insist on doing everything, and rather than look like a wuss he'll go along until he cracks like an egg and calls me frantically on my cell to come and (discretely) rescue him.

Doesn't this sound like fun? How about if I add this - it's supposed to be in the low 50's with a strong chance for rain. Or this - it's the last weekend of the year they're open. Or even this - have I ever mentioned how claustrophobic I am and how much I hate crowds?

But it'll all be worth it when I don't have to listen to stories all winter that start like this - "Do you remember how mom forgot her promise again to take us to the amusement park..."

I can only imagine the stories they will be telling.


laurie said...

ooooooh boy. this sounds like it's going to be totally bloggable.

survivable? not so sure. but definitely bloggable.

do NOT forget your camera.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Do you find yourself going into virtually every situation lately mentally wondering how good the blog material from it will be? I sure do.

The camera is going, trust me.

How was your birthday? You still have two hours left of it, you know.

Sweet Irene said...

I am sure you'll have a wonderful time and you must do all the things you are scared of doing, because you'll feel so good afterwards. I went into a really good haunted house once and nearly peed my pants and died of a heart attack, but I'll never forget it. My sister went with me and almost died laughing, but that is another story.

my two cents said...

Wow, you've mamaged to put together two things I really don't like...Halloween/Haunted Houses and Amusement Parks. Do they serve liver and onions at the concession stand, too? You are a trooper, and a super-mom! Hope you all have fun - I'm counting the days until our civilized lunch.

Kaycie said...

I adore roller coasters. Especially the ones that go upside down and sideways and such. I haven't been to that amusement park you're going to in a very long time. Back in the day, their best roller coaster had two upside down loop-de-loops. Wish I was going with.

And I hope you all live through it unscathed. With great stories to tell.

Altaglow said...

If rain doesn't happen I'm sure you'll have a great time. I think you have the kids pretty well pegged for the rides but you need to pay more attention to yourself. You have interesting history with rides as I recall. Way back when......RC and MOm happen to go to disneyland for the first time on the day the Americans land on the moon. While we have been on a number of different rides throughout the day when the announcement of the landing is actually made in the park we are on the "TEACUP RIDE" with the strains of "It's a Small World after all" blasting through our brains. All this followed by the national anthem being played to people standing up in teacups with hands over their hearts. Some people were on rides with less advantageous positioning. Make sure the space program isn't doing anything AT ALL noteworthy tomorrow and then HAVE fun!!

ps Stu says it's a clear tech day unless you're on Saturn.

PixelPi said...

I must use a barf bag on a ferris wheel (fear of heights), and on any type of spinning/tossing ride (vertigo and whatever FG has).

I don't need a barf bag in crowds (i.e. groups of people numbering more than 10) but I do need copious amounts of sedation. Since I do not drink, this is in a prescribed tablet whose name starts with X. With this med, you could get me through the gate and park me in the gift shop. Doing nothing but waiting for you all to come get me.

Thalia's Child said...

I used to love rides of all kinds. Then I was in a greyhound that rolled. Rides make me sick sick sick.

I'd do the haunted houses though!

Have fun!!

wakeupandsmellthecoffee said...

1. There won't be huge crowds if it's in the 50s and rain is expected. From my experience, only diehards and people from the UK venture out in that weather. And you of course.

2. I highly recommend getting a sinus infection prior to going. You won't care what happens to you.

3.I always end up having a great time at theme parks in spite of myself and the other people there. Great opportunity for gene-pool-spotting.

4. Have a super time.

Flowerpot said...

oh my god! all the best - be thinking of you!

Potty Mummy said...

God, this takes me back. When I was 11 my family visited the US for the first time and whilst staying with friends in Wisconsin (as you do) we went to Great America. As the oldest, most biddable and only child tall enough my Dad nominated me to accompany him on Turn of the Century (very like the vid in your post) and something very politically incorrectly called 'Tidal Wave'. An 80ft high single loop which you went through twice.

He threw up afterwards. Serves him right. (But I still love rollercoasters)

la bellina mammina said...

I hate roller coasters...:-(

Jo Beaufoix said...

Ooo you will survive with blog fodder a plenty like Laurie says.
I'm a bit pants at roller coasters, but haunted houses are fine. Unless they're real ones, then I'd cry like a baby.

Hope you all have a great time, and can't wait to hear about the, erm, highs and lows of the evening.

Jen said...

Please make sure to drop us a line to let us know that you are alive. Or have FG do it. You may not be conscious following your adventure.

Mya said...

Cover your eyes, close your mouth and pray! Oh, and have fun!

Mya x

merry weather said...

Oh wow - just knew it was going to go backwards!! Dizzy...

Hope you've had a great day and your mother's honour is now restored and shining once more, for another year at least.

laurie said...

all of these responses and suggestions are making me laugh. take a xanax! get a sinus infection!

close your eyes and pray! (wasn't that the Victorians advice for sex? "Close your eyes and think of Jesus"?)

-Ann said...

Wow - that looks like tons of fun. I don't know if I'd be able for it though. Seems like as I age, my ability to handle roller coasters is diminishing.

My big favourite ride is the big swinging viking (or cleopatra, sometimes) boat. It gives the most wonderful sensation of funny-tum without being too difficult or scary.

I've never been to a haunted house. Ireland doesn't really have amusement parks. I am SO jealous. :)

ped crossing said...

You make it sound like so much fun. I'd gladly take the amusement park over a trip with parents.

I would love to live within an hour of an amusement park. I'm with Surfer Dude, except I have been on roller coasters and love them.

Can't wait to read all about it.

Happy in the Abyss said...

Well, we took Matthew to Knott's Scary farm and the boy rode a roller coaster..his first one. No fear. No fear in the mazes either...I got nauseaus.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

Well, we're still in prep mode for the great adventure. Just found out that they don't even open until 6, but don't close until 1. Great.

laurie - do I have to tell the whole truth or can I exaggerate for the benefit of the story? You're the pro - tell me.

patriot - welcome! and thanks!

sweet irene - something tells me I'd like to hear that story.

my two cents - liver and onions. Ugh. On the other hand it's only in the low 50s at noon. Tonight should be very interesting...

kaycie - I've always adored roller coasters - my whole life. BUT...I've not been on one in years and I've never had to worry about my own kid flying out of the car.

altaglow - do you know that my own dear husband is more jealous of that one memory than anything else? That's my standing on Centre Court of Wimbledon during the tournament after the Serena Williams match husband. Hmph. Serves him right.

pixelpi - the xanax gods are not smiling on me unfortunately. I only wish they were.

thalia's child - oh god, that makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. you poor thing.

wakeup - you crack me up. I'm not sure I can manage a sinus infection on such short notice. Doubtless, I'll wake up with one tomorrow morning though!

flowerpot - thanks. I need all the positive thoughts I can get!

potty mummy - I have that fear if I try to talk one of my kids into a roller coaster. I would never hear the end of it if I puked. Never.

bella - so does my husband. loathes them.

jo - any bets on which there will be more of - highs or lows??

jen - of the two of us I'll be the one standing, believe me. Childbirth has made me strong.

mya - covering, closing and praying. I'm there!

merry weather - yeah, I had a sick feeling the backwards thing was coming too. Eek.

laurie - wasn't it look at the ceiling and think of England?

ann - in a perverse way I'm looking forward to the haunted house. How scary can it really be? (Maybe I shouldn't ask).

ped crossing - well yes, there is that. No plane flights involved in this one. Or Motel 6's.

HITA - was this before or after the little homework fib? A treat...or a punishment??

laurie said...

ah, you're right. think of england. no wonder it never worked for me. hahahhaha

re exaggeration: hey, it's your blog. just know that i believe that everything you write here is the literal truth.

and ps to -ann: that viking ship is f***ing scary. i've been on it. front car. thought i was going to pitch out ass over teakettle.

laurie said...

ps that patriot guy is spam disguised as a blogger.

i deleted the exactly same message from my blog.

Crystal Jigsaw said...

You wouldn't get me on a roller coaster for all the tea in China. Haunted houses, yes.

Crystal xx

Kimberly said...

I'm officially the most selfish person on the face of the planet. Because? As much as I pity you, I'm also really, really excited to read the resultant blog post. ~sigh~ There's just no hope for me, is there?

The Rotten Correspondent said...

laurie - what IS a Viking ship? And I figured patriot was spam but didn't check it. Anyway, thanks...he's gone now.

crystal - why is it that most people like one or the other, not both?

kimberly - well, if it makes you feel any better that's kind of my mindset too. I think I could get some really good material out of this!

-Ann said...

Laurie, are you ssure it was a big swinging boat? (I know, sounds strange to say.) I ask because the boat has rows of seats, not really cars. Is this a terminology issue or is there something else out there that swings back and forth up high?

Big Swinging Boat

I've gone to county fairs and ridden the big swinging boat 6, 7, 8 times, nearly consecutively. (It's always bad when the operators recognise you.)

Akelamalu said...

Can't wait to read about it - this should be fun!! :)