Saturday, October 20, 2007

over the hill at 35

Sound Bite of the Day:

An extremely intoxicated and high flying gentleman comes in, escorted by many blue uniforms. The nurse who is doing his initial assessment - the triage nurse - asks him if he's having any pain. He says he is. She asks where. He leers at her and graphically tells her what's hurting and what she can do to make it feel better. This nurse, who is really lovely woman in her mid-thirties, doesn't even blink. Been there, done that.

There's a lot of activity in the room as she's entering this into the computer. Doctors, cops, nurses, aides - all scurrying around to get this patient assessed and settled. All of a sudden the patient looks at the triage nurse and says

Damn! I bet you were really hot once. Now you're just old.

And as the room stills completely, the ER doc (who absolutely adores this particular nurse and gives her lots of shit to prove it) looks up from his neuro assessment and says

Well, at least we know he's completely alert and oriented.


Willowtree said...

Way to go buddy, insult the care givers!

Kimberly said...

Ouch! You should compile these stories into a book, you know. Adventures in Nursing or something like that.

Thalia's Child said...

I love you. I love you forever.

You said 'oriented' and not 'orientated'.


Jo Beaufoix said...

Ohhh, bad man.
What an ar*ehole.
I hope she didn't feel bad, and thank God the Doctor took the spotlight away quickly and made the ignorant git look stupid.

Dumdad said...

It's incredible what you have to put up with. A thick skin and a sense of humour must be de rigueur in your profession.

Swearing Mother said...

Hope she wrote that patient up for a hot oatmeal enema. The bastard.

Thirty-five? That girl is just a baby, yet.

Please give her my love.

Akelamalu said...

What an twonk! I hope the needles he had to have really hurt!

laurie said... i slow? or is my computer broken? what *did* the doctor say? all i see is a blank space.

(or am i expected to fill that blank in myself? cause i'm not creative enough.)

Jen said...

I agree with Kimberly. Compile a book. I doubt it will make anyone behave better in the ER, but it would be worth the read.

oh, and I know the doctor adores this particular nurse, but I hope she gives the sh*t back to him equally as well. Just sayin'.

auntie barbie said...

I have no comment, except what a creepy bastard.
oh, and I like the hot oatmeal enema idea.

Kaycie said...

What an ass.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

willowtree - I think he was beyond caring.

kimberly - yeah, but then the nursing shortage would get worse.

thalia's child - evidently you and I have the same pet peeve. I want to slap people who say orientated. Hard.

jo - I think she did feel bad. As she said later "Gee, guys, thanks a bunch for coming to my rescue."

dumdad - well, you certainly can't take anything personally, that's for sure.

swearing mother - that was the part that made me scratch my head.35??? It makes more sense when you consider that I'm in a college town and anything over 25 is doddering. (Of course anything under 25 is staggering).

akela - I do believe he lived to regret his words. She wasn't his assigned nurse, but the nurse who got him was properly outraged for her. heh.

laurie - did the last line really not come through for you? that's weird. The doctor said - Well, at least we know he's completely alert and oriented.(Or did you get that part and are still looking for the punch line?. Sorry. Not one of my better stories!)

jen - she gives him plenty of shit right back.It's quite amusing. Evidently she and her husband are friends with the doctor and his wife and all their kids hang out too, so it's that kind of relationship.They are merciless with each other, but in a very sweet way. She gave him massive hell for not sticking up for her.

auntie barbie - I like the idea of a hot oatmeal enema too. Of course it makes me think of a milk and molasses enema. Can you believe that such a thing even exists? A doc at my old hospital used to swear by them. Warm milk and molasses. Smelled horrific even before administration.Ugh.

kaycie - oh, yeah. with capital letters.

Devon said...

Oh my God! That is so funny! Years ago I worked on an ambulance and drug many drunks to the hospital. They can sure be entertaining in a very icky, hope I never see you again kind of way!

ciara said...

it's that arsehole gene at work again...but i'm sure it's said with much love and affection, right? ewwww hot oatmeal enema...wouldn't want to be the recepient of that! lol

there are lot of word pet peeves i have, too....steve uses a cpl of em. he plurals the word underwear by adding the 's' on the end. we all know that the word by itself is the singular AND plural...he does that to water, too. and ebonics drives me nuts!

Diana said...

What an idiot. But I guess that's what you'd expect from someone led into the ER by a slew of police officers. Did you find out what he did to merit such an entourage?

Eileen said...

That was just plain mean. I hate when guys make a "joke" at the expense of someones feelings. Bad enough some stupid drunk had to insult her, but to be put down further by the staff, is wrong,on many levels. It is just hurtful. Having tough skin is one thing, but having to deal with an insensitive doctor, who think's he is a comic, is another. Nice support there.....Ok, I'm done....Grrrrr, I just hate that kind of stuff. I still think you, my friend, should write a book, and it doesn't have to be just about nursing.
Thanks for all your support during this past week. It helps so much!

Iota said...

I don't know who's worse: the patient or the ER doctor.

You should write a book, definitely.

Sorry, but I think orientated is the right word. Unless we're talking specialist medical ER speak here. Orientated and disorientated are so much better than oriented and disoriented. I'm sure I'm right here.

ped crossing said...

I would just assume the guy was a jerk, drunk or sober. Drunk people are generally a more animated version of their usual self.

Thanks for bursting another bubble for me. I hadn't realized I had crossed over the hill this year. Does that mean it gets easier from here?