Monday, November 17, 2008

rats in a maze

Clearly I was a little distracted last April when this study came out, because I guarantee you that I would have thrown my two cents in long before now. Now that I've run across it, though, I feel that I have to speak. Evidently, researchers at the University of Michigan have found that on an average, a husband creates seven hours of work around the house for his wife a week. Seven hours a week. Per husband.

Now it's a matter of public record that I no longer have a husband, but in a blind statistical study one man is as good as another, and since I happen to live with three of them I'm adopting this survey for my own purposes. Because lets face it, it's the perfect excuse. I can now rationalize away twenty one hours of each week and blame it on my kids. The most perfect dog in the universe is male. Can I make it twenty eight?

Personally, I think the wife having to pick up after her husband for seven hours a week is getting off easy. She only has to follow one trail of crap around the house. My trails of crap resembles the Los Angeles freeway system. I'm forever picking up clothes and dishes, closing cabinet doors, turning off lights and television sets, putting food back in the fridge or freezer and looking for important papers that were "right here just a minute ago!" When you can tell exactly which kid didn't flush by either the abundance of or lack of toilet paper, you could be the subject of a brand new study.

Seven hours.



ped crossing said...

Do you always have to be my crystal ball into the future? Must you always paint such a rosy picture of life with boys?

Can't you sugar coat it just a little? Just for my own sanity I am going to think that little men create even more work and at least my workload is going to lighten in the coming years. Please don't burst my bubble.

Anonymous said...

I agree wit ped crossing! They're more work when you have to prepare all their meals and bottles, dress them, change their poopy diapers and do everything else one armed, right? Right? Please tell me I'm right.

Rudee said...

If you take that one step further, I've calculated that your ex owes you $218,000. That's a lot of hours you picked up after him every week, multiplied by the number of weeks in a year by the number of years all calculated on what may or may not be your hourly wage (now). I think you should add interest and send him the bill with the dead computer. BTW, your socks are nearly done. Maybe by Saturday, I'll be shipping them.

the planet of janet said...

this was the one that got me:

"when you can tell which kid didn't flush by either the abundance of or lack of toilet paper"

oh honey, i think our children were separated at birth!!!!

Maggie May said...

Just come over here for a second and you will see just what kind of mess girls can make as well as the husbands and sons.
In our home we risk breaking our necks on Barbies and all the tiny bits of equipment they need to be fashionable dolls.
There is lego left on the stairs when the grandsons come as well as small cars that could be lethal to Granddad if he stepped on one at the top of the stairs!
Its fun though!

aims said...

You made me smile this morning RC - and that takes quite a bit these days.

I hate to tell you this - but I don't have to pick up anything at all after The Man. Horrible isn't it? In fact - absolutely disgusting. The only place in the house that is a total mess is his office. But! It's his office. I step in to empty the garbage can once a week and step out again and close the door. That's it.

No socks or underwear to pick up. The toilet to flush with eyes adverted. No dishes to put in the dishwasher. Sheesh! I've been robbed!

Yup - you made me smile. Thank you!

Devon said...

I take care of 3 and I'm pretty sure I do at least 21 hours of laundry a week. Lets not get into the grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, yard work, paperwork, etc..

Tiggerlane said...

Wow...I must be incredibly lucky. Not only does my husband not create messes, but he does laundry, dishes, cleans toilets, vacuums, and picks up after ME. Something tells me I don't appreciate him enough. I think I'll go home and hug him tonight.

Did I mention he cooks? Yeah, I suck.

The Boisterous Butterfly said...

Living on my own helps me appreciate how little mess I make and how nice it is that I only have to blame myself and the animals for it. There is no man with a cloud of dirt hovering about him. I used to think that my husband created a mess on purpose and that it was his goal to leave dirt behind him wherever he went. Now, even the toilet stays cleaner. I sure do like living on my own. I just have to train the animals better. You know, the hair and the fur balls.