Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Tabloid Throwdown

Some of my best eavesdropping on my younger kids lately happens when they're in the shower. I guess I can thank our mythical bathroom ghost for this. See, neither one of them likes being in the bathroom alone, so they bribe the other one to go in and sit with them while they shower. The door is always left open for a quick exit in case the ghost shows up between the shampoo and the conditioner, so I can hear perfectly. The downstairs bath is right off the kitchen, and I've found that if I do kitchen chores during shower time I get all the gossip. It's always interesting, even if it does sometimes make me cringe.

Yesterday morning was a perfect example. Gumby was in the shower and Surfer Dude was lounging on the toilet, fully clothed, reading a Foxtrot book. Out of nowhere Gumby said, "Who do you think is the craziest person in the world?" As SD pondered this I stopped making cinnamon toast and tried to guess what he would say. We're a fairly well read family, and my kids are very interested in current events, so it could have been anyone. Politicians get defiled on a daily basis at casa de Correspondent so I was pretty sure that was the direction we were headed for. What I wasn't expecting was ...

"Britney Spears," said SD decisively.

"Do you really think so?", asked Gumby, "I think Lindsay Lohan is crazier."

"Well," reflected SD, "really it's a toss-up."

"I don't think either one of them could be any crazier than they are," offered Gumby, climbing out of the tub. "They're out of control."

"You know how you could make them crazier?" asked SD with a sadistic note in his voice. "Lock them each in a room with nothing to do except a book to read. They'd go nuts!!"

As they continued getting ready for school I had to wonder. What in the world do they even know about these two women? And how in the world did they hear it? And why in the world do they care? Why does anyone in the world care? Do they not know the difference between Hollywood crazy and real crazy? Surely people realize that there is a difference. Don't they?

Although I have to give Surfer Dude points for his plan. I think it's a sure fire winner.


la bellina mammina said...

It's the same here too esecially for me midle kid. He would ask his brother to keep him company while he showers or he'll start singing to keep himself company. It's pretty cute actually!

Dumdad said...

I love Surfer Dude's plan! It could become a whole reality show with airheads and celebs trying to work out what to do with a book....

Flowerpot said...

Yes I think that's a great idea - I can see the show now, hosted by - Graham Norton?!!

ciara said...

i think 'hollywood' crazy is a lot like 'real' crazy but we just don't hear about the 'real crazy' on a daily basis lol fame too quick makes a person go down in flames just as fast. one young actor that i'm impressed with is shia lebouf. that kid KNOWS that doing crap like brit and lin-lo will mess him up and his career, too.

my girls always did the bathroom thing, too...but i had to stop that or they'd be in there all day lol

p.s. i think if brit and lin-lo saw a book they'd say "what's that?" lol

willowtree said...

Sadly, the real question in a rhetorical one "How could they not know everything there is to know about these two wastes of space?"

Seriously, you can't turn on a TV, open a magazine or stand within 30 feet of a group of children without gleaning intimate details of these stunning examples of hubris, but poor examples of humanity.

Akelamalu said...

That's some plan - I think it would work!

Mya said...

Those boys seems to have inherited the RC wicked streak! Inspired.

Mya x

Let's share the Hughs - you take Grant, I'll take Lawrie!

laurie said...

do you have a ghost, truly? that gives me the idea of blogging about our family ghost. (not the house i live in now, but my grandparents' house.)

(though if you're interested in the time my old dog Toby saw a ghost, go here.

and re how your kids know britney spears: how could they not? it's a huge credit to you that they think she's an idiot and not a hottie. good for them.

Diana said...

Heh. Or you could do a sort of game show or reality show where they all compete to see who's the most messed up. Winner is taken away from the public eye for a year and forced to do good works for those who know what true misery is.

my two cents said...

I love that they are still kids, boy kids, in the end, and what they came up with are two girls becuase I think at that age girls are about the craziest things to them. I tell you, I always try to be quiet while driving because I learn a lot that way!

My code word is akhhfv--I think it is the sound that comes out when you cough and sneeze at the same time. I hate that!

Ok, I'll get back to work now.

15 year old girl said...

Ooh Mom! Sneaking out of work to read blogs! RC, I find it amazing that your boys use conditioner.

The Rotten Correspondent said...

I've gotta do a better job keeping up with these comments!

la bellina - It is cute, except when the other brother won't do it and I have to.

dumdad - I'd watch it at least once, wouldn't you?

flowerpot - Ha! Too funny.

ciara - the media thing is insane. What have these people done to be so visible? besides horrible behavior,that is.

willowtree - they're poor examples of everything. so why do half of the kids in the world want to be just like them? Unbelievable.

akelamalu - I do too!

mya - wicked streak? what wicked streak? and you've got a deal on the Hughs. although I like Laurie too.

laurie - if we have a ghost I've never seen it. they just read too many scary books. I'm off to look at your ghost link.

diana - I don't think they'd last a day, do you?

my two cents - I always listen in the car too. You get more good info that way. Oh, and by the way (see below) you're BUSTED.

15 year old girl - caught her red handed, didn't you? tee hee. they use conditioner, but you'll not be surprised to hear that they consider soap optional. thanks for commenting!!

ciara said...

r.c. so true, and all of america is just fascinated with whatever dirt can be dished up. personally, i don't get it : /

and if 15 yr old girl is surprised they use conditioner, i think she'd be very surprised that my 20 yr old son has more , what we call 'b*tch' products than i do. lol lmao @ soap optional...steve has to constantly tell his almost 13 yr old to take a shower. he'd go DAYS w/o one.

Jo Beaufoix said...

RC your boys are hilarious.
And to be so young and so wise - the book thing is genius.
Must be down to the parents. :-)

Miss E got a Britney style Barbie last year with a karaoke machine playing 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'.

She had the scariest legs. (Britney, not Miss E.)

Heh heh, I just realised my code word is 'duhbz', thats like 'showbizz' but done by Britney, Lyndsay, Paris and Nicole to name but a few. 'Duh'.

RUTH said...

Thanks for dropping by with good wishes for my 1st Blogaversary :o)